But to any Russian woman of my age, those rules seemed absolutely absurd as we’ve been taught the opposite. “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today” – they said attributing this expression to the uncle Lenin. And if they said so, then it’s not just a rule to follow, but you might be blamed in neglecting with all its consequences as soon as the Party only get a chance.
I washed my hands and was going back already but suddenly I’ve noticed a huge monkey sitting lazily on a tall tree with the crooked branches. Later turned out that it was langur monkey. A black shrivelled muzzle with attentive eyes, a very long black tail, black leather paws with long fingers color red like a Siamese cat. This Hanuman pensively was holding a nut near his teeth until he has suddenly swung his arm back and threw the nut exactly in my forehead. I didn’t have a chance to get out of the way and I slipped on the wet floor, in reaction. There came the sounds of something heavy hitting the floor, and from outside you could note only two legs sticking out from the restroom and raising up like above water in synchronized swimming.
Surely those who have seen that became laughing. I myself felt no pain but the attack of uncontrollable laughter. With whom else that could have happened? But in my head, I thought that it anyway was much better than that story happened to my theatre friend who was sailing on the tour in Kamchatka and the whole way she had spent in the stateroom having terrible attacks of the seasickness. And when she was invited to see the northern lights, she was simply blown away from the deck into the freezing waters of the sea. I was wet, but at least felt warm.
The guys who have come to help me lifted me up carefully and said that the langur had blessed me as a monkey was a holy animal for Indians. They also added that it was a very good sign and I’ve been a chosen one. To my surprise, even the grinning monkey was pointing at me with her long black finger and making some weird sounds either hiccup or laughter. Like in a movie. Well, I’ve been blessed, that’s nice. The clothes dried up as well as the floor, we had breakfast and moved further. And this cartoon episode has drawn Abu and public attention to me, though I felt more like a carnival joker.
All our group except me loved Abu. Because of him the only thing I used to do- was running from one to another with the requests to translate for me one thing after another. But the colleagues simply couldn’t keep up with Abu as an interpreter also needs time, and we didn’t have it enough. I realized that a lot of good and interesting information has been missed. By my colleagues’ reaction, I could understand that he was telling something very important and fascinating and in a very thrilling manner too. All I could do was to admire his artistry, the athletic body and professional skills inherent to a genius.
Sometimes our eyes met and I couldn’t help but have taken my eyes off him. But later I’ve again heard his voice and it has been absorbing all my attention and my thoughts. I looked at his eagle’s profile, the energetic chin, full lips, sparkling almond-shaped eyes full of expression. I couldn’t take my eyes off the grace and confidence he demonstrated every time appearing in public, his accurate gestures, the clear speech and obviously an exceptional sense of humour when even me was laughing together with all the group without understanding what it was about. His laughter was so contagious that it was almost impossible to resist. At some moment it seemed to me that he was the man of my dreams, whom I visualized so many times before but only fair-skinned. At the same time, I felt some pressure because of lacking a common language. I spoke Russian, but Abu didn’t know it. later revealed that he knew eight languages! I felt flawed and hated him with jealousy. Abu was giving a dizzying tour on the aboveground catacombs of the intricate Hampi routes, he spoke out loudly and clearly, looking directly
into the spectators’ eyes.
For a night the organizers got us rooms in a real fancy five-star hotel in a Hospet town from where we were to heading back to Hampi early morning. The organizers made a deal to not close a swimming-pool with fountains and a jacuzzi for us and even to switch on all the illumination as an exception. And we got a chance to swim in the pool, refreshing our tired, dusty sweaty bodies in cool waters under multi coloured rays of light. Here someone got an idea to celebrate this unforgettable day and to have some whiskey before going to sleep, just to chill out a bit at the back of the hotel with a pool view. We all quickly backed this idea up. And that was indeed such a loving evening! We felt so relaxed, had much fun and laughed all the time.
Finally, I’ve had an opportunity to have a good conversation in my mother tongue, to share my stories and to tell about my impressions. I really enjoyed my auditory, they were responsive and getting my sense of humour, we were on the same page. When I was going pretty big, Abu has joined us. And my evening has been finished on that. As soon as he has appeared all focus shifted at him in a flash. And again I was sitting like a doll blinking the eyelashes and couldn’t catch a word. I’ve poured some whiskey, it didn’t make me feel better. Has drunk some more, didn’t help.
Losing all the interest for the party I felt how some kind of self-pity has attacked me and I felt a lump in my throat. And the questions began to arise: “what am I doing here?”, “how will I work in the country without knowing its language?”, “maybe it’s a professional unsuitability?”, “why did I come here?”, “why nobody has listened to me?” I wasn’t used to be on the sidelines. A leader, an actress, an anchor was crying inside me. Wiping my tears with a sleeve, I’ve run away to my room and kept on crying alone. Abu has instantly stolen all attention, and I was just a puppet theatre actress from Russia, with no knowledge of the language, not capable even to get a small talk flowing or to argue.
My roommate Arina has come for me, she tried to pacify me and to bring back. But I really needed to stay alone.
“If you have a bad day, just remember that you can cry. If you need to have a good cry in bed just do it. But don’t forget after that to stand up, pull yourself together and keep on moving forward.” Louise Hay
Someone came in and went out. I didn’t care, I had a good cry and fell in asleep. We all have our own inner battles with the demons and we struggle them with courage. Daily and in our own way. All our efforts big and small deserve praise and applause.
Has it ever happened to you to wake up one morning with a thought that you’ve lost a control over your life and can’t even say what is right and what is wrong? Each one of us has got such days and, believe me, it’s absolutely normal. I’ve discovered, that if to make the decision to change the situation then it’s already a halfway to success. The only thing left is to understand how to do it.
The next morning my eyes have been slits, and I was terrified to meet this new creature in the mirror. It was like an ordinary morning of a Chinese beekeeper. Washing and eyes drops didn’t work out and I was to wear the sunglasses before daybreak. And here went out the ballerina. I’ve left my room like Maya Plisetskaya deceased in Germany in her ninety, and with her words on my lips which has become my morning credo: “All my life I love the new, all my life I look into the future, I always wonder!… Not resign ourselves to the edge is not tolerant. Even then – Fight, fire back in the tube pipes, drums beat… Up to the last moment… My fight win only on that andkeep it up. Character – this is destiny.”
5 – THE NEW LIFE TOGETHER
THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH WHOM WE LOSE TIME. AND THERE ARE THOSE WITH WHOM WE LOSE THE SENSE OF TIME.
“We don’t meet people by accident, they are meant to cross our paths for a reason.” Osho.
I’m absolutely certain, a hundred per cent, that no man appear in woman’s life by chance.