Jet whistled silently. ‘Oh, man…Is this going where I think it’s going?’
Max didn’t seem to have heard him. He was still talking directly to Rick. ‘Lucy looked just like her sister. Maybe your memory of ten-plus years ago is understandably hazy but what about a few hours ago? Your tongue was practically hanging out of your mouth the instant you clapped eyes on Sarah.’
‘Sarah?’ Jet was sitting very still now. Making sense of what was happening around him.
‘Lucy was Sarah’s sister,’ Max said more quietly. ‘Josh’s mother.’
‘Holy cow! And she thinks Rick’s the father?’
‘He could be,’ Max agreed.
‘She’s wrong,’ Rick said at the same time.
‘How do you know?’ Jet asked Rick.
‘I just do.’ Rick knew his tone was desperate. He didn’t know, did he? He just couldn’t begin to imagine the repercussions if she was right. To be presented with a nine-year-old kid? A sick kid? To know that the boy had been in the world for so long and he hadn’t even known he’d existed? No. There was no way to get his head around this.
Max and Jet exchanged a glance.
‘The solution’s simple,’ Jet said. ‘Three letters, mate. DNA.’
Max stepped towards Rick and gripped his upper arm. ‘He’s right. The possibility is there and a kid’s life might depend on it. If nothing else, you can set the record straight and Sarah can keep hunting.’
Yes. There was definitely a possibility there. One that might let him off the hook completely.
‘Fine. I’ll do the damn test.’
The thought that it might exonerate him kept him going until he reached home. The long hours of a solitary, sleepless night, however, put a far more negative spin on the plan.
Maybe fate had it in for him. Perhaps this was his punishment for that wild, irresponsible few months until he’d got both his head and his act back together. And what a punishment it would be. The effect it could have on his life was potentially catastrophic. Having a child could have a major impact on career choices, finances, relationships…
Being a father.
Oh, man…that was a minefield and a half. He couldn’t do it. He had no idea of how a father should behave. He only had to think of his own father to know how they shouldn’t behave but that was no help. His mates wouldn’t be able to help either, would they? They’d all had way less than perfect family lives, which was why they’d all been sent off to boarding school and ended up forging their bond. The kind of family that meant something.
Max would think he’d know but he was getting in on the ground floor with Mattie, wasn’t he? He hadn’t been presented with a child who was old enough to judge performance and find it lacking. Old enough to get hurt, dammit.
It would be a disaster for everybody involved but most especially Josh, who most certainly didn’t need that in his life on top of everything else. He couldn’t do it to him. But if he did turn out to be Josh’s father, he’d have no choice.
The endless merry-go-round of thoughts and emotions finally slowed as dawn broke and in those quiet minutes as a new day was born, Rick found a solution.
If his irresponsibility had created a child and fate had decreed that he could help him in some way, then of course he would do it. Josh didn’t have to know where the bone marrow was coming from. If he didn’t know that his biological father was involved, Rick wouldn’t have to try and be the person Josh would want his father to be. He wouldn’t have to hurt the kid by trying…and failing. It would be kinder all round, really.
Much kinder.
The attraction had been snuffed out. As cleanly as a lamp being switched off. There wasn’t even a flicker of it to be seen when Rick came to the ward the following morning.
He didn’t come into Josh’s room. Just gave Sarah a curt nod through the window and then waited for her to join him in the relative privacy of the corridor.
‘I’ve sorted the tests,’ he told her. ‘DNA, blood and tissue typing. You’ll have to wait for the results.’
‘Thank you.’
It was such an inadequate thing to say. She could see how huge this had been for him. Rick looked as though he hadn’t slept a wink. There were shadows under his eyes and more lines around them than she remembered. It really wasn’t fair that it only added to his appeal or that his appeal for her was still there when it had totally gone from his side of the equation.
She’d done her own share of thinking last night. Imagining Lucy with Rick. Feeling disturbingly…envious.
Just as well that Rick had shut off that static of sexual awareness. They could be colleagues now. A step up from total strangers but new enough to still have to earn trust. And that wasn’t going to be easy because Rick’s demeanour suggested she’d already had his trust and couldn’t have broken it more effectively.
Fair enough. She had tipped his life upside down. Taken away his carefree existence. Put a huge spoke in the entire wheel of his universe, probably.
‘Don’t go getting your hopes up too much,’ Rick warned.
‘I won’t.
But…’
‘But what?’
Amazing that his eyes could darken even further. They were like coals now. Remnants of a fire that had long since died out. Sarah had to look away.
‘Have…have you given any thought to the next step, if…if…?’
Oh, Lord. She couldn’t even say it out loud.
‘If I do turn out to be his father?’ Rick’s mouth curled but it couldn’t be considered any kind of smile. ‘Give me some credit, Sarah,’ he drawled. ‘I’m not stupid.’
‘I wasn’t suggesting you were.’ The putdown sparked something that felt like rebellion. Didn’t he know by now that she was more than prepared to fight for what was right?
‘If I’m his father and there’s enough of a match to make my bone marrow compatible, then of course I’ll be a donor.’
Sarah let out a breath she hadn’t noticed she’d been holding. This was precisely what she’d wanted to hear. So why was she left with this oddly unsatisfied sensation?
‘If—and it’s a mighty big if as far as I’m concerned,’ Rick continued, his voice low and intense. ‘If things do turn out that way and I’m a donor, then that’s the end of it.’
‘Sorry?’ Sarah wasn’t following.
‘I had no idea he existed,’ Rick said. ‘He’s nine years old. It’s a bit late to step into the role of being a father. So I don’t want Josh to be told. Is that clear?’
Sarah’s mouth opened but no words came out.
It was clear all right. But acceptable? That was something else entirely. If she called him on this, however, he might back off and he’d already agreed to being a potential donor. That was all that mattered right now, wasn’t it?
One step at a time.
It wasn’t the first time in their brief acquaintance that she’d had the impression Rick Wilson was a man used to getting what he wanted from life.
He had taken her silence for acquiescence.
‘Good,’ he said. ‘I’m glad we understand each other.’
And with that, he turned and left. Mission accomplished.
That spark of rebellion flared. Any kind of fan could easily see it flame into anger but