‘My sister’s name was Lucy,’ she said with a tiny wobble in her voice. ‘She was two years older than me and we looked very alike.’
He couldn’t deny he found her attractive, surely? His interest had been flashing like a neon sign from the first moment he’d laid eyes on her. The kind of physical attributes people found attractive in the opposite sex didn’t change that much. She had always been drawn to tall, dark men. Like Rick.
She sighed again, inwardly this time, at the regret that tugged deep inside. In another lifetime she might have been having a very different kind of conversation with Rick Wilson.
‘Lucy Prescott?’ she prompted. ‘Ring any bells?’
‘No.’ The word was a growl.
‘The man who wasn’t Josh’s father remembered her. It had only been a brief affair but he’d been in love with her. He’d said he’d known he was failing to measure up to the previous man in her life. Only a one-night stand, Lucy had said, and it was never going to go anywhere, but it was all too obvious that she would have preferred it to.’
And Sarah could understand why now. She could also begin to understand why her sister had always kept it a secret. A private fantasy that might have been discredited by sharing it with anyone, even her sister. Rick was one of a kind and he would have been completely out of her league back then when Lucy had been just a shy, country girl starting out on her nursing training.
‘He went to the States a month or so later,’ she finished. ‘He never knew Lucy was pregnant. She refused to tell him. Or say who the father was. I only found that out when I requested Josh’s birth certificate after he got sick.’
Silence fell as she finished speaking. Through the crack in the nearby door came a soft whimper.
Sarah tensed and then breathed out with a sigh of resignation. She had to go back to Josh, to be there when he woke up, but it wasn’t as if there wasn’t any point in saying anything more right now. She had dropped the bombshell. The best thing she could do was give Rick the space to get his head around it.
It was hard not to add a plea of some kind before she turned away. Especially seeing as Rick was giving her his undivided attention. Or maybe he was hoping he could make her go ‘poof’ and disappear from his life by sheer willpower. She held his gaze for a long second.
Please, she begged silently. Just…please.
Mike followed Sarah back into the room to check on his young patient and Rick was left in the corridor with just Max for company.
He turned on his heel and began to walk away.
‘Hey…’ Max sounded alarmed. ‘Where are you going?’
‘To find someone to talk to,’ Rick snapped. ‘A mate who might genuinely be in my corner.’
‘I’m in your corner.’ Max caught up with him well before he reached the elevators.
That hadn’t been the impression he’d just got. Rick didn’t pause to push the button or wait for a lift. He didn’t want to give Max the chance to say anything else. Shoving the fire-escape door open, he took to the stairs, ignoring the sound of the footsteps following him. He didn’t even look over his shoulder as he barged into the emergency department.
Jet was listening to a patient’s chest in a cubicle near the internal doors. He glanced up, took in the expression on Rick’s face and smoothly unhooked the earpieces to hang the stethoscope around his neck.
‘You’re quite right,’ he said to the registrar beside him. ‘Order a chest X-ray and start some diuretics. I’ll be in the office for a few minutes. Page me if I’m needed.’ With a commanding jerk of his head, he led both Rick and Max into one of the consultants’ offices.
‘What the hell’s the matter with you two?’
‘Why don’t you ask him?’ Rick growled. He glared at Max.
Jet hooked one leg up to perch on the edge of the desk. He studied Rick for a moment and then turned his attention to Max. And then, surprisingly, he grinned.
‘Takes me right back, this does. Remember when the headmaster caught you two fighting on the dorm floor? You got detention for a month and had to pick up rubbish on the rugby grounds. Matt and I used to fall over ourselves laughing, watching you with your spiky sticks and bags.’
His smile faded, his gaze settling on Max. ‘What? What did I say?’
Max sighed. ‘This has kind of got something to do with Matt, that’s all.’
‘For God’s sake,’ Rick exploded. ‘How can you say that? It’s got nothing to do with Matt.’
‘Of course it has. And if you calmed down and tried using your brain for half a minute, you’d see why. Think about it.’
‘What does he need to think about?’ Jet’s tone was wary.
‘Matt,’ Max said heavily. ‘What life was like for us all when he died.’
Rick looked up at the ceiling. He didn’t realise how hard his fists were clenched until the ache reached his elbows.
Unbearable, that’s what it had been like. Matt had been the final member of their group. The youngest by a few months and a bit smaller but he’d made up for his lack of height with an extra dose of daring and humour and intelligence. Life had been the ultimate adventure for Matt but he had died, tragically, when a brain aneurysm had not been diagnosed in time to save him, despite the warning symptoms. They had all been newly qualified doctors at the time. The remaining three, aching with such a loss, had all blamed themselves in some way for his death.
‘You hit the books, I seem to remember,’ Jet said slowly. ‘We hardly saw you.’
‘And you burned off your grief getting your black belt in that martial arts thing.’ Max nodded. ‘And Rick? Do you remember what he did?’
‘Drank a lot,’ Jet said promptly. ‘And partied like there was no tomorrow.’
‘Exactly.’
The satisfied note in Max’s voice was more than irritating.
‘There’s no “exactly” about it,’ Rick informed them. ‘I’m careful. Even if I’m drunk I’m careful.’
‘Can you honestly put your hand on your heart and swear there might not have been an occasion then when you found you didn’t have anything on hand or were just too blasé to care?’
Rick said nothing. The truth was that that period of time was pretty much a blur now. He’d been trying to forget and it had been a successful mission. He closed his eyes slowly.
Too many parties. Too much alcohol. Way too many girls and most of them had been blue-eyed blondes. Max had married a woman with chestnut hair. Jet thought the darker the better but Rick had always gone for blondes. That particular period wasn’t an indication of how he usually treated women, however, and even now he could feel shame at the way he’d used those girls.
One-night stands had been all that he could do. He’d had enough emotional rubbish to deal with without inviting any more into his life. All he’d wanted had been the temporary release that sex could provide and if it wasn’t enough for the partner, she’d got brushed aside. Names? As much of a blur as the faces. Pick a girl’s name, he thought wearily. Any name could be a contender. Annabelle or Casey or Lisa or…or Lucy. Yes. If Sarah’s sister had been at one of those parties and had been willing, he would have taken advantage of her.
Of course he couldn’t swear to anything and his friends knew it. Maybe talking about this wasn’t such a good idea. It certainly wasn’t helping. Any second now and Jet was going to be taking the side Max was on. The dark side. Rick needed to be alone. A stiff drink or two and some peace and quiet and maybe he could parcel