Sara…She embodied everything he’d been denied his whole life and made him want things he couldn’t have.
Cal glanced over his shoulder, his body still attuned to her nearness, and swore. Something about Sara drew him. But he wouldn’t make another mistake, so he headed for the door.
Chapter Three
Cal paced outside the neonatal isolation unit. He’d walked this strip of gray tile for three hours now, waiting to hear something about Jessie.
He needed to see if Sara still slept, but kept putting it off, not wanting to face her until he had news about the baby. Also, he had to rein in the feelings that had nothing to do with wanting to protect her and the baby.
An admissions clerk swished toward him. She stuck a clipboard under his nose. “We need your signature on these forms, Dr. Tucker.”
The clerk’s stiff demeanor annoyed Cal. “What are they?”
“Routine forms for the administration office. They’re acknowledgment of your responsibility to pay.” She thrust a pen toward him.
He shook his head. “Sara needs to sign those.”
The doors beside him burst open. A short, gray-haired man tugged down the blue mask covering his mouth and nose and let it hang around his neck. Glancing at Cal, he asked, “Dr. Tucker?”
Tension knotted Cal’s shoulders. “Yes.”
The clerk cleared her throat as she blocked Cal’s path. “Your signature, please.”
Cal glanced toward the doctor, then snatched the pen from the irritating clerk.
Once he’d scrawled his name on the lines indicated, the clerk took the clipboard and pen and slipped away.
The man in scrubs extended his hand toward Cal. “I understand you performed the delivery on the side of the road.”
Cal shook the offered hand. “I didn’t have much choice. How is Jessie?”
“She’s fine. You’ve got yourself a real fighter in there.”
Cal wondered at the sense of pride that filled him. “What happened?”
“She aspirated amniotic fluid during the delivery, which caused her some difficulty breathing. We want to observe her closely for a couple of hours. If all continues to go well, she can go home the day after tomorrow.”
Relief rushed through Cal, but nagging doubts still troubled him. “Did I do something wrong that caused this trouble?”
The doctor patted Cal’s shoulder. “No, son. You did a fine job. It just happens sometimes.”
The guilt he’d struggled with since the nurse’s call eased. “Will there be any lingering problems from this?”
“It’s hard to tell this soon. Sometimes there are some respiratory problems for a while. Each case is different. Just keep a close eye on her and call her pediatrician if she has any trouble.”
“Thanks.” After the doctor left, Cal headed for Sara’s room, suddenly anxious to tell her the good news.
He heard the commotion before he rounded the corner. Sara staggered toward him, pushing her IV pole, clearing a path down the hall, a nurse hot on her heels.
The nurse tried to bar Sara’s way. “You’ve got to go back to your room.”
Sara glanced at Cal, a look of utter torment and despair on her face. Her soft bottom lip trembled. Tears streamed down her freckled cheeks and dripped from her chin.
Suddenly she was in his arms. He didn’t know how it had happened, only that she was there. Cal absorbed the sobs that racked her body and hugged her tightly, bending down to bury his face in her soft hair. He would leave in a moment, but for now… “Shh, Sara, it’s okay.”
He straightened, trying to ignore how good she felt pressed against him. Cal wanted to pull back so he wouldn’t feel her softness, but he couldn’t. Instead, he shifted from one foot to the other and did his best to comfort her while ignoring his body’s immediate response to her nearness.
“Can you talk with her, please?” the nurse asked. “She’s still under sedation and too unsteady to be out here.” Her tone softened. “I know the waiting is difficult, but as soon as we hear something about the child’s condition, we’ll let you know.”
“It’s okay,” Cal said. “I’ll take her to her room.” He reached for Sara’s elbow, but she shoved his hand away, surprising him with her strength.
“Get away from me. I’m not budging until someone tells me what’s going on with my baby.”
She hobbled around him, wincing as she went. Cal turned in time to catch the tail end of her gaping hospital gown, trying not to notice her long, coltish legs as he pulled her to a stop. “Sara, wait. I just left the doctor.”
She spun to face him, catching the back of her gown to hold it closed. “How is she?”
“Jessie’s fine. Now, let’s go back to your room, and I’ll tell you everything.”
Her lower lip trembled again, and she walked back into his arms. Cal held her against him and settled his chin on the top of her head. Her shoulders shook, and he patted her awkwardly, stirring the air, which teased his nostrils with her sweetness.
He shouldn’t want to hold her. He shouldn’t need to comfort her. And he shouldn’t like it this blasted much.
“Come on, Sara. Let’s get you back to bed.” The sight of this strong woman coming all undone, a woman who had just gone through natural childbirth on the side of the road, touched something deep inside him.
Sara tipped her head back to meet his gaze. “I have to see her, to touch her. Please, Cal, I need to know she’s okay.” The soft, warm quality of her voice beckoned him.
Cal took a step back and cleared his throat. “The doctor wants to keep Jessie under close observation for a few more hours. When it’s safe, they’ll bring her to you. But we have to go back to your room. That’s where they’ll call.”
He turned Sara around and, with his arm about her slumped shoulders, guided her down the hall. She leaned against him, her arm circling his waist as if his strength might be the only thing holding her upright.
Cal didn’t want to get drawn into her problems, but Sara needed someone strong to depend on for a while. He told himself he could do at least that much without getting any more involved.
Though Tiffany had assured him it was over between them, he still needed some time to think through everything, to reevaluate the direction of his life. The last thing he wanted was to get tangled up with another woman.
Sara relaxed against him, her breast pressing into his side. He did his best to ignore the way she made him feel and his sudden need to hold her tighter. Now that they knew Jessie was safe, he probably should leave.
When they entered her room, he urged Sara toward the bed. This should have been one of the happiest days of her life, a time shared with someone she loved. Instead, her daughter was in isolation. And Sara was here with him—a man incapable of love—because some scumbag who didn’t rate being called a man had walked out on her.
Cal had learned early in life about broken dreams and disappointments. That she’d had to deal with the same feelings of defeat and failure ate at him. Sara deserved a man who would take care of her, worship her, love her. For one insane moment his control slipped, and he wished he could be that kind of man.
But he knew he wasn’t and never would be.
The next morning Sara pushed the breakfast tray aside and sat on the edge of the hospital bed, her heart broken. “This is all my fault. I should have left home sooner.”
Cal