They walked in silence until they reached the pickup, and then she turned to face him. “Josh, keep looking and find a nanny. You’ll be glad later. You shouldn’t go into some loveless, arranged marriage.”
“I want to keep Elizabeth,” he said, feeling his heart constrict because he couldn’t work and care for a baby at the same time.
“Let me run an ad and interview nannies. Maybe if they have to reply to me, I can help find the right one for you.”
“That’s a thought. I might do that. I’ll write out my ad and bring it by.”
She smiled, her full lips parting, a sparkle coming to her green eyes that was inviting. Why hadn’t she dated? he wondered again. Just wrong men and wrong times? He contemplated what her life would be like if she left the ranch. “I think if you go to law school and become a lawyer, you’ll find what you’re looking for...and someone you do want to date.”
She shrugged. “I’m twenty-eight and getting set in my ways.”
“Come on, old lady. I’ll take you home.”
Relaxed, glancing at his house briefly, she climbed into the pickup and rode in comfortable silence while Josh drove her home. As he walked to the door with her, he paused and placed his hands on her shoulders. Instant awareness of his touch, of his nearness, flashed through her, and for one moment she saw clearly what she had tossed away tonight.
“If you change your mind about lawyering, let me know.”
“Bnng your ad over, and I’ll run it and do some interviews.”
“Sure, Mattie.” He brushed her cheek with a kiss. His lips were warm; there was a faint smell of beer on his breath. For a moment she wanted to lean closer, wanted to discover what it was like to kiss him. She suspected it would be best that she never know.
“Thanks for dinner, Josh. I’ll never forget your proposal.”
“I’m damn disappointed, Mattie. I’ll be back tomorrow or the next day with my ad.” He grinned and shrugged.
His lopsided grin exuded charm. Creases appeared in his cheeks; his even white teeth were a contrast to his dark skin. She could remember times in the past when she had watched him in public places and seen him laughing, looking enormously appealing. If he ever turned on the charm, she thought, it would be impossible to resist him.
She watched him stride through the darkness to his pickup and climb inside, roaring away down the road. As he drove away, loss swamped her. She looked at the land that she felt part of; the same land that sometimes made her feel suffocated. The ranch was a tough taskmaster; decisions were difficult, and the burden of running the place was squarely on her shoulders.
Darkness enveloped the ranch, and quiet settled, reminding her of how alone she was. Had she made the mistake of her life tonight? If she sold the ranch and left, would she later regret what she had done and look back on Josh’s offer with longing? A loveless marriage couldn’t be a good bargain. She thought again of Josh’s fleeting kiss on her cheek. He was handsome, exciting, but she suspected that in the kind of arrangement he wanted he would barely be aware of her.
With a shrug she went inside, thankful Gran had already gone to her own small house that was several hundred yards down the road. Right now Mattie didn’t feel like answering a lot of questions about why she was home so early and why she wouldn’t be going out with Josh again.
Two days later, as she stepped out of a stall in the barn, a dark silhouette filled the sunny doorway.
“Mattie?”
Her pulse jumped when she recognized Josh’s bass voice. “What are you doing here?” She felt a guilty blush heat her cheeks, because his proposal had occupied most of her waking hours. Even though she had said no, she couldn’t forget or get Josh out of her mind. As she watched him approach, she remembered her offer. “Did you get your ad written?”
“Irma said you were in the barn with a sick mare.”
Mattie turned to rub the sorrel’s neck. “She’s better. Doc was here yesterday, and she’s come around nicely.”
Josh moved closer to look at the mare. In jeans and a white T-shirt, Josh made her aware of her own appearance, and she pushed wayward tendrils of hair from her face.
“Do you have the ad?” she repeated.
Josh turned to her, and her pulse jumped another notch as she faced him. He pushed his broad-bnmmed black hat to the back of his head and thrust out his hand beside her to lean slightly against the stall while he moved closer to her. His T-shirt clung to his muscled chest and powerful biceps. Her heart began hammering as she gazed up at him. He shook his head, and she could see a look of determination in his gaze that made her mouth go dry.
“Mattie, you said you’ll never sell this place as long as your grandmother is alive. Did you really mean that?”
“Yes. I won’t do that to any of my family. After Irma is gone, then I’ll sell,” she replied, and hoped her voice didn’t sound breathless. Josh was standing too close, watching her too intently. And she could tell by his stance that he was going to try to talk her into something.
“I remember your grandfather. He died some years ago.”
“We lost him two years ago and Dad this year,” she said stonily, momentarily feeling the sense of loss that came less often now.
“How old was your grandfather?”
“He was older than my grandmother. He was eightyfour when he died.” She wanted to move away, but Josh was hemming her in. She could detect the enticing woodsy, barberry scent of his aftershave, see the faint dark stubble on his jaw. She was barely aware of their conversation, and her nerves felt as if they were jumping with little charges of electricity from his proximity.
“I remember them talking about your great-grandfather, who lived to be one hundred. How old is Irma?”
“She’ll be eighty-one her next birthday.”
“And how’s her health?”
“She has a heart condition, but it hasn’t given her trouble for several years,” Mattie said. “Josh—” She paused, at a loss, disturbed by him. She tried to back up and bumped the stall. He moved closer, and she could feel the warmth of his body.
“Mattie,” Josh said, his voice lowering. “I’ve been considering all you told me. If you’re staying on the ranch as long as Irma lives, you could be here several more years,” Josh said, watching her. Her eyes were wide, and the pulse near her throat was throbbing. He wondered if he disturbed her, and he found the notion refreshing. Feeling certain to his soul that she would be perfect for Elizabeth, he was willing to take some risks to get what he wanted.
Mattie’s heart seemed to stop and then pound violently, because she could guess what he was getting at. “Yes, I could.”
“Marry me. We’ll draw up a prenuptial agreement that lets you out of the marriage when Irma dies.”
“No! I can’t!” Panic rose in her. She didn’t know how to deal with this forceful man. She had hired and fired ranch hands, dealt with men angry with her or her father, but that had never been like this. What was it about Josh Brand that seemed to make her knees weak and her mind stop functioning?
“Listen to me,” Josh ordered quietly, and she closed her mouth and then caught her lower lip with her even white teeth. “You marry me and stay for one year. Elizabeth will be a year and a half old, and by then we’ll have a good nanny all settled in. You stay one year, and I’ll pay for law school for you. I’ll pay all your costs. I’ll pay off the mortgage your dad took on the ranch.”
Stunned, she stared