He composed his features back to the completely objective, professional tutor he was supposed to be. But it was difficult to hold back the elation he felt now that his plan had worked. The teacher in him wanted to build up her confidence, which he surmised had for some reason taken a knock somewhere along the way. The fact that he found her impossibly attractive must be dealt with as a separate issue, which couldn’t in any way colour his professional judgement of her.
‘Thank you, Julia. Would you meet me in the ante-theatre at ten-thirty, please? We shall be using the teaching theatre where those of you not required on the lower surgery area will sit on the raised seats behind the transparent screens. You will be able to hear everything, take notes and ask questions at the end of the operation.’
Julia dealt with the moment of panic that suddenly came over her. She needed to escape and scan her notes. She mustn’t leave anything to chance during her debut in Theatre. And she wanted time to check out the patient. That was always important. She wasn’t dealing with an abstract. This was a human being who deserved respect so perhaps it would be possible to …
Thoughts tumbled through her mind as she hurried to the door, only to find that Bernard was waiting there for her.
‘Would you like to meet the patient?’
She gave a sigh of relief. ‘That’s definitely on my check list … along with everything else I need to do.’
‘Don’t worry. There’s plenty of time.’
She revelled in his smooth, soothing voice and remembered that he must have had to go through difficult situations to reach the heights of his profession. She had a lot to prove to him so she felt intensely nervous because he still hadn’t thawed out with her. Could she work alongside him without making a fool of herself?
She squared her shoulders. She would do the best for the patient, as she had always done, and Bernard’s opinion of her didn’t matter. Oh, but his opinion of you does matter, said a small, nagging voice in her head.
‘You look nervous, Julia,’ he said, as if reading her thoughts. ‘Take a deep breath. Now let it out. That’s better. I wouldn’t let you operate on my patient if I didn’t think you were capable, extremely capable according to your previous tutor.’
She felt as if she’d grown taller already and much stronger. Her thoughts were clearing and she could feel a list of priorities forming in her head.
He led her along the corridor, speaking now in a gentler tone than he usually used. She felt comforted, supported both physically and mentally. His arm brushed hers as they walked together and she was surprised by the sparks of attraction his close proximity aroused. Not an easy situation to be in. Nervous of Bernard because he would be judging her performance in Theatre, concerned about their patient and surprised at the frequent frissons of attraction towards her boss. This was going to be an intensely difficult situation.
He had a difficult job as tutor to ten students who had begun to regard him as the enemy. But she was beginning to view Bernard differently. Again she felt a tingling down her spine and knew she mustn’t give in to this strange insane feeling that was forcing itself upon her.
‘You see, Julia, in most hospital situations the surgical team meet the patient before they operate, don’t they? So I do like my students to be involved in the pre-operative and post-operative care of their patients, working alongside the full-time hospital staff.’
She felt her clinical interest rising along with the added interest engendered by simply being alongside this charismatic man. On this, her surgical debut day, when she wanted to use her skills and knowledge as best she could, she was also trying so hard not to let her personal interest in him get in the way.
‘Yes, as I told you, I would very much like to meet our patient. You said she was a surgeon?’
‘An extremely eminent surgeon here in France. As a student I was very much in awe of her.’
‘So you’ve known her a long time?’
He smiled as he looked sideways at his demure companion,
looking so fresh, so young, so infinitely … he checked his thoughts … capable. Yes, she was capable. That was all that mattered.
He composed his thoughts again. ‘I feel we shall experience full co-operation from our learned colleague. She was a great help when I was a young student in Paris.’
They walked together along the corridor, he adapting his stride to her slower pace. In the orthopaedic ward Bernard led her into one of the single rooms.
‘Hello, Brigitte. How are you this morning?’
The patient, who was seated in a comfortable armchair by the window, smiled and put down her newspaper.
‘Bernard! I’m very well, thank you, and so relieved that I’m going to have my operation today.’
He introduced Julia as a well-qualified doctor from England who was working towards a career in orthopaedic surgery.
‘Julia has had a great deal of surgical experience. She has been mentored by our esteemed colleague Don Grainger and comes to us with his own high recommendations.’
The patient smiled. ‘High praise indeed from Don.’
‘Well, he’s been Julia’s tutor since medical school and he wrote in glowing terms about her capabilities. So much so that I’ve decided to tell my designated assistant to remain on standby in the theatre. I may or may not need him. How would you both feel about that?’
Brigitte leaned forward towards Julia. ‘I would be delighted to help you up the career ladder in any way I can, Julia. After the operation—at which, of course, you must assist—we must have a long chat. I truly miss my days in surgery but my arthritis cut my career short. I like to keep up with the latest developments, though.’
Bernard was waiting for Julia’s answer. ‘And how do you feel about assisting with the surgery, Julia?’
‘Very honoured.’ She felt confident. Why shouldn’t she be, with such generous support from the patient and professor?
‘Excellent!’ Bernard smiled.
Jeanine, the orthopaedic sister, came in to explain that they were about to prepare their patient for surgery. Did Bernard wish to do a further examination? He said he would like a few minutes to show his assistant the extent of the arthritic damage to the hip. Brigitte, walking with a stick, made her way back to her bed and lay down with a thankful sigh of relief.
She pointed out the most painful areas of her leg, which were around the the head of the right femur. Bernard held up the X-rays so that Julia could see the extent of the arthritic erosion and they discussed the method they were going to use to remove the damaged bone and replace it with a prosthesis.
Leaving the patient to be prepared for Theatre by the nursing staff, Julia still felt slightly apprehensive but at the same time she realised how lucky she was to be given an ideal situation like this in which to move forward, gathering confidence along the way. At the same time she would not only be furthering her career, she would be easing the pain and improving the health of a patient, which was why she and all the members of her family had joined the medical profession.
She walked towards the medical quarters. She needed a few minutes of peace and quiet to gather her thoughts and focus on the operation in front of her. She no longer felt the need to check her notes. Every bit of knowledge she needed was stored in her brain. She’d assisted at a hip replacement before on several occasions, actually performing part of the surgery with an experienced surgeon hovering nearby, watching her every move, ready to stop or correct anything he didn’t approve of.
It wouldn’t be any different this time, except that it would be Bernard who would be doing the hovering. And this affinity she felt with him, this desperation to please him was something that unnerved her. It wasn’t just that he was her chief