Was that a brief twitching of the lips or the beginnings of a contemptuous smile on his face? Whatever it was, it died immediately as he looked intensely displeased with her.
‘Julia, you will appreciate that I have to make absolutely sure that if I let one of my students ‘loose in Theatre’, as you put it, that the patient will be in capable hands.’
‘Yes, of course, I do appreciate that, but I’ve had a great deal of experience in Theatre and—’
‘So I’m told,’ he interrupted dryly. ‘Your tutor in London, Don Grainger, gave you an extremely glowing reference, outlining some of the orthopaedic operations you have performed.’
She brightened up at this piece of news. What a treasure Don Grainger had been during her medical-school days and after graduation.
‘So,’ Bernard continued in the same dour tone, ‘during this illustrious career you’re pursuing, how much experience have you had of hip replacements?’
Oh, joy! At last she was definitely on home ground! She began to elaborate at length on the hip replacements she’d undertaken, at first assisting before moving on to operating under supervision.
He interrupted to ask questions as she enthused about how she loved to remove the static, painful joint and replace it with a prosthesis. His questions concerned the types of prostheses she’d used, which she preferred and if she enjoyed following up the after-care of her patients.
‘But of course I enjoy seeing my patients after I’ve spent so much time with them in Theatre. Seeing the patient before and after surgery, making sure they’re getting the best possible after-care, is all part of the buzz a surgeon gets.’
‘Buzz? What do you mean by this?’
In her enthusiasm for the subject she’d gone into English. Embarrassed at getting so carried away, she began to speak French again to dispel the wrinkles of concern that had appeared on his brow. ‘It’s the wonderful excitement of taking away pain and suffering and restoring a new, more active lifestyle to a patient. Not exactly what I meant but something like that.’
They were both silent for a few moments. The clock on the wall ticked away the seconds, reminding Bernard he had another student to see. He wished he didn’t find this one so fascinating. Was it her enthusiasm for the subject or was it something he shouldn’t even be thinking about every time he met up with her? She was his student, a career woman, and he was a family man. Never the twain should meet!
He put on his stern tutor expression as he stood up to indicate the interview was over.
‘Send Dominic in, please.’
She turned and walked to the door, anxious to escape from the inquisition and the conflict of emotions she was experiencing.
‘How was it?’ Dominic asked as she came out.
She shrugged her shoulders. ‘I’ve no idea how it went,’ she whispered. ‘Good luck!’
The next day she was still none the wiser. If anything, she was now feeling even more frustrated. She really was getting withdrawal symptoms from being just a cog in the machinery of this difficult course. She needed to actually make a major contribution to an interesting operation in Theatre, feel the buzz of satisfaction she was used to getting when an operation was a success and the patient’s state of health vastly improved.
She looked up from the notes she’d been studying as Bernard walked in and took his place at the front of the tutorial room. The chattering between the students died down as ten pairs of eyes focussed on their professor. She thought he looked slightly worried this morning as he glanced around the room.
‘Good morning.’ A slight nod of the head in her direction as he acknowledged her, seated, as she had been so far this course, in the front row.
Bernard’s serious expression didn’t change as he began to explain what would happen that morning. They had admitted a patient three days before who had been on the waiting list for a hip replacement. Apparently, the lady in question was from a medical background herself. She had elected to have her operation under general anaesthetic and in the interests of furthering the education of the budding surgeons in Bernard’s group she had agreed that her operation should be used for teaching purposes.
‘Surgery begins at eleven this morning.’ He seemed to be directing his statement right at her.
Why was he still looking at her? She tried to shrink down in her seat. He raised his eyes again to address the now apprehensive students.
‘I shall be performing the operation with the help of a qualified and experienced junior surgeon and one of my students.’
He was looking at her again. She swallowed hard.
‘I have deliberately given you no warning of this because there will be times in your future careers when you will be called upon to operate at short notice and I wanted to see how you handle the added adrenalin that sometimes causes panic amongst the less suitable candidates.’
He smiled. Thank goodness! It was as if the sun had come out. She shifted awkwardly in her seat, sensing that he was about to make an important announcement.
‘The reason I sent out a questionnaire before you arrived here, asking about previous experience of hip replacement surgery, was to ascertain who might be a likely candidate for the first operation of the course. Several of you indicated varying degrees of competence. I consider that some of you would be perfectly capable of being my second assistant this morning.’
He read from a list, Julia holding her breath apprehensively after she heard her name read out.
‘There’s no need to be worried. We are a teaching hospital with excellent insurance.’ His smile broadened. ‘There is a stipulation that patients must be chosen with care and must agree to everything that might happen during their surgery. The patient we will operate on this morning is a retired surgeon herself and fully co-operative. Now …’
He paused and looked around the class. ‘Who would like the opportunity to work with me this morning?’
Talk about adrenalin pumping! Her heart was pounding so quickly she felt everyone in the room would hear it. This was the opportunity she should seize on. The opportunity she’d asked Bernard for. The old Julia would have been leaping to her feet, desperate for the experience. These days she could feel real fear whenever opportunity knocked.
Seconds dragged by. Nobody had moved. Several throats had been cleared, including Bernard’s. She could feel his eyes boring into her. What had her father always told her? Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Her hand shot up, seemingly having a life of its own. Every fibre of her body was warning her to hold off, not to stick her neck out, but this was why she’d come here. To challenge herself and banish her insecurities. She could do this! Raising her eyes tentatively towards the rostrum, she was rewarded by a look of intense pride.
Bernard knew he’d goaded her on that morning. He’d deliberately put her to the test and she hadn’t failed him. He’d already seen for himself how knowledgeable she was about her passion but, from what he’d learned during their brief time since she arrived, she was a student who needed her confidence boosted. And this could only be done by subjecting her to difficult and demanding situations that required top-class skills, diligent training, impeccable qualifications and endless energy. The ability to carry on long after your whole body was experiencing real physical weariness, if required.
Though he didn’t doubt that intellectually she was probably streets ahead of her louder colleagues he worried that she might not be physically strong enough at times. He would have the same concerns with any female student. A fact that had made him consider hard about offering her a place on this course. If he was honest with himself, he’d only admitted her to the course as a favour to his old friend Don Grainger. Don was no fool. He wouldn’t have put her forward to take the course if he