No, he was nothing like her usual clients.
Her heart thumped against her ribs, and she glanced around the living room, trying to distract herself.
The afternoon sun slanted through the large windows, bouncing light off photo frames. Deep sofas piled with cushions in earth tones faced each other across a large cream rug. It was a room that had seen a family grow. A room with a thousand stories to tell. The slight scuff on the leg of a chair where an active boy had smashed into it, the rug slightly worn by eager feet. It was a family room, comfortable and comforting. Except that it didn’t comfort her.
Kayla felt the ache build inside her. “You came here to cook?”
“It was meant to be just for the winter season.” Elizabeth sipped her tea. “I’d finished a course in Paris. Learned to make so many fancy dishes. Michael always said the day he tasted my braised lamb shanks, he was lost.” Smiling, she put the cup down. “He ate his way through the menu so he could have an excuse to talk to me. By the time he reached the last dessert we were in love. We were engaged after two weeks and I did all the cooking for our wedding.”
“Two weeks?” Kayla blinked. “That’s fast.”
“I’ve never understood people who have long engagements. If you know, why wait? And I knew. Michael and I connected straightaway. Losing him was a shocking blow.” Her eyes misted, and Kayla sat there feeling awkward and inadequate.
She knew nothing about the type of love Elizabeth had felt for her husband, but she knew how it felt to have your life irrevocably altered.
“It must be difficult for you, learning to live without him.”
“I miss him every minute of every day. I don’t talk about it much because I know Jackson worries about me, and he has enough to worry about.” She picked up her cup again, as poised and elegant as if she was indulging in tea at the Ritz in London. “But I’m glad to be living here. I feel close to Michael and it’s the same for Walter and Alice, of course. I have no idea how it would feel to have to leave this place—” Her eyes shone a little too brightly and Kayla sat still, staring hard into her tea because she knew.
She knew how it felt to lose a home.
She knew how it felt to be forced to move from somewhere safe and familiar. To have your roots wrenched from the ground so violently that only the scars remained.
And suddenly she understood why Jackson had come home. A man like him, with strong family values, would do that no matter what the cost to his own dreams and ambitions. It was about so much more than saving an ailing family business. It was about saving the memories for his mother and grandparents. Saving the jobs of people he’d known all his life. Saving the home he grew up in and the place he loved.
“I can help.” She was surprised by how badly she wanted to. Surprised to discover the desire to help had nothing to do with personal ambition. “You need more people through your doors, sleeping in your beds and eating in the restaurant. More people need to know about Snow Crystal. That’s what I do. I can put together a campaign that raises the profile of the resort.”
“That’s why Jackson brought you here, and I’ve never questioned his judgment.”
“Why did he leave? Why not just stay and run Snow Crystal right from the start?” She told herself that information on Jackson O’Neil was necessary for her job. It wasn’t because she had a personal interest and it definitely wasn’t because of the kiss.
“Michael would have liked him to stay, but Walter didn’t want him here. They clashed over it. Jackson found himself in the middle of that for a while, and then he went off to college and found his own path.” Elizabeth set a pretty china plate in front of Kayla. “It was the right thing to do. If he’d stayed here he never would have found out how high he could fly. And he flew high, as I always knew he would.”
Kayla heard the pride in her voice and wondered how it felt to be on the receiving end of that sort of love.
She’d given up telling either of her parents about her promotions and successes. Given up hoping they might be interested in anything she did.
“His father wanted him to stay?”
“Yes, but I think that was probably for selfish reasons,” Elizabeth admitted quietly. “Michael didn’t enjoy running this place. And Jackson was right to go. If he’d stayed, his wings would have been clipped by his father and his grandfather and those wings would have torn in the struggling.”
The vivid imagery made Kayla wince. “Ouch.”
“Eventually he might have resented them for holding him back, for standing in the way of him proving himself. He didn’t want something that someone else had created. He wanted to create something himself. He needed that.” Elizabeth passed Kayla a cookie. “They’re my cinnamon stars. At Christmas we package them up in pretty packages tied with bows. Try one.”
Kayla obliged, wondering if cooking was how Elizabeth filled the loneliness.
“Walter doesn’t agree with the changes Jackson has made?”
“Walter doesn’t understand why we would spend money when we’re losing it.” Elizabeth picked up a box of decorations. “I suppose I don’t understand that, either. But I trust Jackson. I need to sort through these decorations. Some of them need tender loving care. Some just won’t survive another year. Could you look through this one?” She pushed a box toward Kayla, who took it with all the enthusiasm of someone being passed a box of tarantulas.
It was just a few Christmas decorations. She could sort a few Christmas decorations without having a breakdown, surely?
Elizabeth smiled. “Why don’t you start hanging those.”
Kayla’s mouth felt dry. “You want me to hang them?”
“Of course. If you’re here with us over the holidays, the least we can do is let you share in our Christmas. I expect you have your own Christmas rituals. All families do.”
Kayla gripped the box. “We had a few.”
Put your stocking by the fire, Kayla. Let’s see what surprise Santa brings you.
There was a hollow, empty feeling in her stomach. She recognized the feeling because she’d lived with it for such a long time.
Loneliness could be felt at any time, of course, but there was something exquisitely painful about the loneliness that came along with Christmas.
She lifted a decoration from the box and stared at it.
A moment later it was gently removed from her hand.
“You don’t like this time of year, do you, dear?” It embarrassed and frustrated her that she still felt this way. That she hadn’t been able to put the past behind her and find the same joy in the holiday season that so many others did. “I find it difficult.”
The box was removed from her hand.
“Leave it. I’ll trim the tree later.”
“I’d like to do it.” She’d spent Christmas alone for the past decade. This time she was alone in the middle of a family. It couldn’t be worse, surely? “It’s been a while.”
“You don’t see your family at Christmas?”
Kayla hesitated and then the door opened, allowing a flurry of cold air into the living room along with Jackson. His collar was turned up against the winter cold, and he carried a large box in his arms.
Elizabeth gave Kayla’s arm a brief squeeze and walked toward him. “Is that the box we’ve been looking for?” Her voice gave no indication that he’d disturbed a conversation of significance, and Kayla was grateful for that. At the same time she wondered how much she would have said if they hadn’t been