“I didn’t see that side of you,” she said.
“We met in a club. You saw the party animal.”
“I did,” she conceded. “I’m trying to reconcile the two men.”
“They aren’t two men,” he said. “Any more than you are two women.”
“You’re right. It’s just I thought of you as one kind of person.”
“What kind is that?”
“I don’t know. I mean you’re an ex-cop turned attorney, you’re a big brother and you like Shakespeare…I guess I just had a one-dimensional image of you.”
He didn’t know how to respond to that. He wasn’t really super comfortable talking about himself and thankfully, Lulu brought over their complimentary appetizers; some spring rolls. They ate and Hoop steered the conversation to safer topics like books and music. They had some things in common.
Though he was never going to understand why women loved Jane Austen as much as they did. Cici made a convincing argument for the appeal of a man with manners. It was a fun night and Hoop wanted to pretend that he could be satisfied with it, but to be honest, Cici had whetted his appetite. He wanted more. He needed more.
He knew he was going to ask her out again until he could satisfy the growing need inside of him. He just had to.
Dinner was delicious and for a while she forgot about everything as they ate and talked about books, movies and what shows they binge-watched on Netflix. He was a sucker for police procedural shows and she favored comic book heroes.
They ordered dessert and as they waited for their dishes to come, he leaned forward. A thick swath of dark hair fell onto his forehead and he pushed it back, making him look more boyish in the dim lighting of the restaurant. He was always serious, so it was interesting to see this other side of him. The light stubble on his jaw did nothing to detract from the attraction Cici felt for him. In fact, she wouldn’t mind running her fingers down the line of his jaw. His eyes were blue, not like the sky, more like a grayish blue that she’d seen a few times at dawn. His lips were full and he was easy to make smile.
Life would be so much easier if she’d never met him, Cici thought. Hoop’s hair was longer on the top than at the back and a strand fell forward as he took a sip from his water glass. He raised his thick eyebrows at her.
“So tell me about the guy.”
The guy.
There wasn’t a note of judgment in Hoop’s voice. If there had been she would have shut him down and left. But instead there was curiosity and friendliness.
She closed her eyes, wishing she’d skipped dessert and left about two minutes ago. Before he’d gotten around to that.
He was an actor, but not one she’d ever heard of. Though she recalled that he’d been rather loquacious about a pilot he’d shot before coming to Jamaica, but frankly he’d talked a lot and she’d been more focused on the champagne than on what he’d been saying.
“There’s not really much to tell,” she said.
“His name maybe?” Hoop asked. “Listen, if you don’t want to talk about him…then I’ll let it go. I’m just curious.”
She wasn’t keeping the guy a secret so it didn’t matter to her, except that she sort of wanted to pretend that it had never happened.
“I really don’t want to talk about it because this entire thing is not who I usually am. I’m methodical, you know? I plan things out and then act accordingly.”
“Why didn’t you with him?”
“Because …” she took a sip of her drink and wondered if she should be honest with him, and then realized she had nothing to lose. They weren’t dating and probably after tonight he’d start avoiding her so she could just as well tell him without really worrying.
“The truth…is you hurt me that night at Olympus. I thought we had a connection and when you shut me down it brought up all these doubts in myself as a woman. So, when I went to my cousin’s wedding and one of the groomsmen was flirting with me—it was flattering. His name is Rich. Rich Maguire. I had too much champagne. He did too and in the morning we both regretted it. I left as quickly as I could.”
Hoop fiddled with his fork, turning it over and over in his hands before putting it back down on the table. “I never meant for you to feel like that. I’m sorry, Cici.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I think it was just Hayley finding someone to share her life with and I don’t know. Just sometimes I get distracted by a pair of blue-gray eyes.”
“I don’t do relationships well,” he said. “I…I grew up in the foster system so I hesitate when things feel…well, like they could be real. I’m always afraid to believe it. And Garrett is like a brother to me. I didn’t want…”
She put her hand on his. “It’s okay. Really.”
She didn’t want to make Hoop feel bad about that night. If she hadn’t gone to the wedding maybe she would have gotten herself out of her funk. But she had and she’d slept with Rich. That was that.
“Is he definitely out of the picture? Or did he just need time to process everything?” Hoop asked.
“He’s out. He was, like ‘get an abortion, keep the baby, I don’t care what you do. I have a fiancée and don’t need this’.”
“That was pretty harsh,” Hoop said. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Me either,” she said. “But to be fair we don’t know each other at all. And we both had said it was a drunken mistake. I just wanted him to know there was a baby in case it mattered.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Don’t be. I like the idea of raising bean here on my own.”
“Bean?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been calling the baby.”
“Cute.”
“Yes, d non-gender specific.”
“Are you going to find out if it’s a boy or girl?” Hoop asked.
She rubbed her hand over her stomach. She sort of assumed she’d have a girl. Frankly, she was way better with her own sex than with the opposite one and it seemed like God might want her to succeed at this parenting thing. “Maybe.”
The desserts arrived and she looked down at the decadent chocolate lava cake, taking a bite and closing her eyes as she did so. Hayley always said the first bite of chocolate on the tongue was the best. She could tell that they used the same chocolate they did. She let the rich creaminess fill her mouth and then opened her eyes to find Hoop staring at her with an odd expression on his face.
“You okay?”
He nodded and then cleared his throat, stretching his legs out under the table, his foot brushing against hers.
“Um…did you talk to a lawyer about the situation?” he asked, slightly distracted by her touch.
“No. Should I?” she asked. Right now she was busy dealing with morning sickness and trying to figure out herself as a mother. Rich had said he wanted no role in the baby’s life and she hadn’t thought beyond that fact.
“Yes. I’m not advising you to do so just because family law is what I do, but also from experience. If the Candied Apple & Cafe continues to grow and you become a millionaire he might suddenly show up in your life again. Also, you want to have some safe guards in