‘Not to worry, we’ve got you.’ Heather grinned and before I knew it, they had managed to get themselves inside the house. My fur stood on end. As they walked into the living room, Jonathan shut the door, looking confused. I stayed at Jonathan’s feet as we followed them in.
‘Ah, Matt, you’re here,’ Vic said. ‘Good, good. Saves us visiting your house.’
‘Hello.’ Matt looked at Jonathan with panic in his eyes.
‘We are—’ Heather paused, sitting down on the sofa. I cowered under a chair and put my paws over my eyes. This wasn’t good. She continued, ‘Here on Neighbourhood Watch business, of course.’
‘Of course.’ Jonathan and Matt exchanged another glance. Jonathan was standing up, Matt was on the chair in the corner and Vic and Heather sat together on the sofa.
‘So what can we do for you?’ Jonathan asked, politely.
‘Well, as you know there’s been a few changes in the street lately. And now number forty-eight has been let we thought it would be a good time to strategize,’ Vic started. I pricked my ears up at the mention of the new house.
‘Right, strategize how?’ Matt asked.
‘Well, as you know, dear, Edgar Road has become quite a community and we want to keep it that way. So we thought that when the new people come into number forty-eight we should hold a meeting, explain to them that it’s a community here and how we all look out for each other,’ Heather explained.
‘Sort of a welcome party?’ Matt asked, eyebrow raised.
‘Exactly, Matt, exactly,’ Vic concurred. ‘Start as we mean to go on.’
‘I didn’t get a welcome party,’ Jonathan said grumpily.
‘Well you didn’t act suspiciously when you moved in, did you?’ Vic pointed out.
‘What are you talking about?’ Matt asked.
‘Moving boxes in at night, unpacking at night, it’s not exactly normal behaviour is it?’ Heather smiled, almost in the same way that Salmon does, baring her teeth. I promptly re-covered my eyes.
‘And, I have a friend who lives in a nearby neighbourhood, and a house in their street was let recently,’ Vic continued. ‘Well about twenty of those foreign people moved into the house, and well, we can’t have that here.’
Jonathan looked shocked, his brows knotted in confusion.
‘What on earth are you talking about? What does that have to do with number forty-eight?’ Jonathan asked, sounding horrified.
‘The letting agent wouldn’t disclose to us who would be moving in, but so far the new occupants have acted suspiciously so we’ve put two and two together. And this is happening all over London, so we need to be on top of it. You know, as Neighbourhood Watch coordinators and concerned residents.’
‘So hang on, we don’t even know who’s moving in, and yet you’re already planning to interrogate them?’ Matt sounded annoyed.
‘No, that’s not what we said. But whoever it is, we thought if we invited them to a meeting immediately they would know how our street works. And, we would like them to explain their nocturnal activities. We have a duty to the residents here to ensure our street stays safe,’ Heather explained.
‘God, you make it sound like a lynch mob.’ Jonathan looked aghast.
‘No, absolutely not, of course we don’t mean that. But anyway, we wanted to inform you and of course we know that you and your good lady wives will attend and offer the neighbourhood your support.’ Vic smiled, but his smile was as sinister as his wife’s and his cat’s.
‘It’s just that if there are going to be lots of immigrants moving onto the street we need to show them we won’t be messed with. And if it’s a normal middle-class family we will welcome them,’ Heather explained. ‘So we can count on you?’
Jonathan and Matt were speechless as I came out from under the chair, and went and sat on the windowsill. Salmon still sat at the gate, and I flicked my tail up at him through the safety of the window. I saw him hiss at me; I smirked, he couldn’t come near me, as I continued to taunt him.
‘When is this meeting?’ Matt asked.
‘We are going to schedule it when the residents of number forty-eight move in. So you’ll attend I take it?’ Vic said.
‘I don’t know—’ Matt began.
‘The thing is—’ Jonathan said at the same time.
‘Dear boys,’ Heather started, sounding even scarier than normal. ‘I hope that you care enough about this street to come. I would hate to think that you have no interest in where you live, as would the other residents, I’m sure.’
‘Absolutely, dear.’ Vic put his arm around Heather. ‘Until now we have thought of you as being very good members of our community. We wouldn’t want to have to revise that opinion.’
Matt looked terrified as he seemed to shrink back into the chair.
‘Of course we’ll be there,’ Jonathan said. Matt shot him a surprised look. ‘To welcome our new neighbours, which is, what I hope that this meeting will be about.’ Jonathan sounded firm and I was proud of him.
‘Absolutely,’ Vic said. ‘Right, we have lots of people to visit so we’d best get on. Glad we can count on you.’ In the whole scheme of Heather and Vic, they’d got off lightly.
‘Well good, I’ll show you out.’ As Jonathan herded them to the door, he spoke again. ‘You know our good friends, Franceska and Tomasz are from Poland and they lived here for a while. They weren’t trouble makers,’ he said. We all stood at the front door; I took the opportunity to give Salmon one last dirty look.
‘Absolutely not. We got lucky with them, but not all foreigners are like that,’ Heather said, seriously. I could hear Matt in the living room choking on his beer.
‘They are unbelievable,’ Jonathan said, as he returned to the living room. His face was a bit red, the way it was when he was angry.
‘I find them quite amusing. Well apart from the racism of course. You know whenever I walk down the street, I see them over the road, curtains twitching.’
‘This will be the lowest crime street ever with those two. Imagine, if they caught you doing anything wrong you’d get talked to death,’ Jonathan laughed. ‘Or they’d make a citizen’s arrest in their matching jumpers.’
‘Well, I don’t know if it’s a family or a hundred immigrants but I already feel sorry for the people moving into number forty-eight,’ Matt agreed.
‘You’re not wrong there. Right, let’s forget the Goodwins and put on the football.’
Despite developing a new sleeping habit since Claire and Jonathan moved in together, I had adjusted well to it. Before they were together, when they normally slept alone, they often let me in their room but now, they put my basket on the landing and shut their bedroom door. I wasn’t offended; I had since learnt about the human need for privacy when there was more than one of them. And although I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be in their bedroom, I accepted it. However, I knew instinctively when the alarm clock would go off and as soon as it did I would be waiting to scratch at the door. This delighted Claire who declared me incredibly clever, as I never disturbed them even a minute before the alarm roused them. I have