There is, of course, more to it than just mental conditioning, and one thing I cannot argue with is that like most people reading this book you will firmly believe that you love the taste of the stuff and that life without feeling a cold piece of chocolate melting on your tongue simply would ‘not be worth living’. However, please expand your mind as we well and truly strip away this layer by …
If you’re in any doubt at all and think I may be exaggerating for effect, please pop along to Cadbury World and ask them if you can taste one of their ‘unsweetened’ cocoa beans (oh, and don’t forget your bucket!). Or if you can’t make it there, go on the hunt for some high percentage cocoa chocolate. Now when I say high percentage, I’m not talking 70% dark chocolate bars – these have still been heavily sweetened with sugar – no, I’m talking 95–99% chocolate solids (once again make sure there’s a toilet near by). This is because, as I will continue to say, chocolate in its unsweetened state is revolting. Actually, revolting is being rather nice! As I write this chapter I’ve just had another unsweetened cocoa bean to fully associate with what I’m trying to get across – and what I have just tasted is almost indescribable and in my mind I’ve only ever tasted one other thing which is worse. Have you ever woken up from a party and felt so thirsty that you reached for the nearest can of whatever to quench your thirst, only to discover (too late) it contained cigarette ash? Well, that’s what we’re talking about here!
The main ingredient which causes the foul taste is a naturally occurring powerful heart stimulant called theobromine. Theobromine is incredibly bitter and the darker the chocolate, the more ‘real chocolate’ it contains and the worse it tastes. Our taste buds are designed to warn us of poisons – if something tastes bitter it usually means that nature never intended us to eat it. Chocolate has always tasted as bitter as a winter’s night in Scotland and has always been sweetened to make it palatable. When the Aztec civilizations of Central America first started using chocolate a couple of thousand years ago (depending on what you read!) it was nothing like the chocolate we get today. Firstly, they only drank it, the chocolate ‘bar’ only came in around 1847 when Joseph Fry (as in Fry’s Chocolate) discovered that by adding chocolate liquor and sugar to cocoa butter he could produce a solid chocolate. And the drinking chocolate they had then was certainly a few chemicals and spoonfuls of sugar short of the hot cocoa your parents used to tuck you up in bed with, that’s for sure. Back then the drink was extremely bitter and spicy, thickened with maize and flavoured with vanilla, ginger and even chilli and turmeric (yum, yum!). But the Aztecs didn’t go to all this trouble because they thought drinking it helped with the stresses and strains of life or because they thought it was something they could ‘have in-between meals without ruining their appetite’ or because they thought it tasted good! No, they only started drinking it because they thought they were honouring their principle God, Quetzalcoatl-Tlahuizcalpanticutli (the God of light), in much the same way some Christians take bread and wine at communion, the Aztecs honestly thought the pods were gifts from God, hence their naming the cocoa the food of the Gods’. The name of the tree from which the beans come from is Theobroma cacao, which literally translates as ‘god food’.
MONEY TO BURN
This belief led to the beans being held in very high esteem, so much so that in the land of the Aztecs, the beans were more precious than gold. Cocoa beans were literally their currency and were exchanged for many goods and services. But because the beans were not only as good as money, but in those days were money, only the very wealthiest of people could roast and drink them. In fact, it was only those who literally had ‘money to burn’ who ever got to taste drinking chocolate (and that’s where the saying comes from!).
For the Aztecs, drinking chocolate was never about ‘Having A Break’ and it certainly wasn’t about the taste – it was about honouring their God, ceremonial occasions, religious beliefs and showing great wealth. It seems funny that in those days they made the ‘sacrifice’ of drinking this muck in order to honour their God and show off – now we have a nation that feels that they would be making a sacrifice by not having it. That’s because what we have today and what they had then are not remotely the same thing. But if you still feel that back then it could have been all about the taste, then this should seal it. In Aztecs times, priests would mix cocoa with the blood of human sacrifices and force their victims to drink it. Even now there are Italian villagers who make a concoction called ‘sanguinaccio’ which is a wonderful dish of stewed pig’s blood, numerous other ingredients and, of course, some grated black chocolate (‘see the face you love, and throw up’ springs to mind).
While we are talking about the taste of chocolate, it’s worth knowing that the Aztecs ‘special drink’ was called ‘chocolatl’ – literally meaning ‘bitter water’. Just to make this point crystal clear, the only reason they drank this incredibly bitter concoction was because they strongly believed it brought universal wisdom and knowledge which continued into the afterlife. It certainly wasn’t because of the taste! (Glad that’s now clear.) But even when the chocolate ‘bar’ was eventually born, and the vast majority of people had stopped mixing blood with their cocoa (good move!), it still needed heavily sweetening to gain universal appeal.
MANIPULATING YOUR TASTE BUDS
There are some people who love the taste of very dark chocolate and there are a few weird people who even like the unsweetened cocoa bean. But then let’s not forget, there are some people who say they like the taste of cigarettes and yet they never eat them and there is even a group of people in the world who drink their own urine. However, just because this floats the boat for a few people, I don’t believe this shows that it is a genuinely lovely taste and something we should all be doing!
Our taste buds, just like our minds, can easily be moulded and conditioned. As part of our natural survival mechanism, our taste buds are designed to adapt to any foods we are presented with on a regular basis. This is why, just like our minds, they can easily be fooled. For example, when you had your first alcoholic drink, did you jump for joy exclaiming, ‘Where have you been all my life?’ I don’t think so! The vast majority of children/teenagers simply think, ‘What the hell is this rubbish, give me an orange juice.’ Yet, as we persevered with the taste of a particular brand we gradually acquired a liking for it. But even then, we’re not actually enjoying the taste of the alcohol