Finally, instead of answering machine, I heard beeps. For a long time no one answer the phone, but I was persistent and did not intend to give up. And finally a miracle happened, a woman’s voice answered:
– Hello?
– Hello, can I hear Assiya Lee? – I asked.
– Hello, and who asks her? – asked a woman on the other side of the wire.
– Hello. This is her son, Damir, – I answered impatiently.
– Ah, is that you?! Wait… your mom isn’t at work, isn’t she at home? Why is she not contacting us? Do not answer the mobile phone? – she began to ask me around.
– I don’t know, I thought she was still in the office, – I answered with confusion.
– Three days? Are you kidding?! – the woman replied with a grin.
I immediately hung up, well what could I answer. Besides, thoughts were about something else. “Mommy! Where is she?! God, oh God… I am an idiot… Brainless… What now to do? What to do?” Everything shrank in my chest, so that it was difficult to breathe. I was shaking and I wanted to hide from the whole world. “Mom, where are you?” – was forefronted in my mind. At first I wandered around the house from thoughts that tormented me, and then I sat on a pouf in the corridor, thinking what to do next. I sat there for a very long time, staring straight before me. At that moment, I thought about everything and already gradually began to lose my mind. After sitting in this position for a long time, I did not notice how mid-night came.
Finally, the mind cleared up a bit and I began to think rationally: “What to do? So what am I doing when something is not clear? I ask Granny what to do. Exactly, Granny! So, hey, she and grandpa seem to be at a resort abroad. Damn… what now? Whom should I call?? Who else is left… well, he… father. Should I call him?! Though there’s no alternative”.
Immediately my last conversation with my father came up in my head: “Son, if one day, at any time of the day, you will need me, call me and I come”. This was exactly the case. With trembling hands I dialed my father’s number. Inhale – exhale, inhale – exhale… long beeps… the usual redoubted voice answered on the other end:
– I asked you not to call so late! All business – tomorrow! – father said tartly.
– Da-daddy, it’s me, – I said quietly and uncertainly.
– Sonny? D… Damir… is that you? – father asked half-whispered.
– Yes, I need you! – I said hopefully.
– You have no idea how I wanted to hear it from you, – the father remarked happily, but then his tone changed: – Did something happen?
– Dad! Mom’s lost! I do not know what to do, it is already the third day she is not to be found: neither at home nor at work! What to do?! – I desperately asked him.
– Assiya? This is not like her. Did you call the hospitals? Did you file missing person report? – he asked anxiously, saying in a whisper: – I hope it is not too late.
– Late? Dad! What are you talking about? No, I haven’t called anywhere yet. Come, I need you more than ever! – I shouted into the phone.
– Son, I will fly out to you with the first flight. I’ll immediately let you know as I arrive. Take it easy. Surely everything is fine with her, – my father reassured me: – Until then, before my arrival, call the hospitals and file missing person report, – my father gave me instructions in a cold and reasonable tone.
– But dad! You know! I can’t talk to anyone except my relatives! – I confessed to my father about my problem.
– Sonny, at least we will start the search. I will be there soon. I believe in you, – the father tried to inspire me.
– Okay, I’ll try, – I whispered, feeling bad.
After talking with my father, I sat for a very long time. As well squeezing the phone and realizing that here it is – the reality. The loud tick of the clock, the strong wind sneaking into the room, accompanied my terrifying thoughts. Thoughts… they just tore me from the inside. I probably thought about everything in the world. How I paid no regard for her, pushed her away and even was rude to her… to person who, even after all the insults and quarrels, continued to love me. “She did for me so much, and I… I have no forgiveness”. Gathering my wits, I realized that it was time to do something. When I sat down at the computer, I, with shaking fingers, tapped at a keyboard “directory of hospitals of Almaty”. Finding all the numbers, I took the phone in my hands, took a deep breath and started dialing the first number…
– City Hospital No. 1, – said the woman on the other end of the line.
– Uh… hello? – I zoned out for a while.
– Speak?! – she said with a claim voice.
– My… my mother… she… uh… – I was lost even more.
– Did your mother be admitted to our hospital? – she asked, changing her anger for understanding.
– Yes, – I said with relief.
– Last name and first name? – continued the woman.
– Assiya Lee, – I said.
– Well… wait a minute, – the woman said slowly, I heard how she began to turn over the pages in search of the desired surname: – No, she wasn’t brought to us.
Without answering, I silently hung up. Two opposing feelings were fighting in me: relief, because the conversation was over and a heavy feeling that my mother was not there. So I spend all night, without stopping calling all the hospitals. I prayed the God only about one thing: let everything be fine with her, wherever she is now. But after the next telephone conversation, more and more terrible thoughts came. Desperation devoured me completely. Even though I was always lonely, for the first time I felt that I was left alone with fear… and repeated again and again: “God, please, let everything be fine with mom… I promise I will never ask you again about anything”.
By the morning I did not understand anything, and began on the second round to call those whom I had not been able to reach before.
Half asleep I dialed the number and automatically said:
– Hello, have Assiya Lee been admitted to your hospital?
– Hello, wait, I will look, – the same sleepy voice answered me: – Yes, she was admitted three days ago.
– So wait, where am I calling? – I immediately woke up.
– Well, the Cardiology Center! – the sleepy voice on the other end was indignant.
– How is she? What with her? – I began to ask.
– I am only a doctor on duty and I don’t know all the details, but all I can say is that her condition is critical but stable and she is unconscious, – the doctor replied.
– I’ll be right there, – I uttered rapidly.
Carefully looking at the address of the center in the directory,