too involved – ten seconds should be long enough for you to offer the bait, and then your little one can take the play where they like. The actual complexity of the play will of course depend on the age of your child, their specific abilities, their dexterity, their maturity level, the set-up of your home and where you are.
Below are some tips to bear in mind when offering a 10-second set-up for your little one:
Don’t stop them if they are already immersed in independent play; just keep an idea up your sleeve in case they tune in to what you’re doing and can’t get back their flow, even when encouraged to.
A 10-second set-up should be about discovery and experience, not end product.
Keep it very simple, using just an idea, perhaps something you have prepared earlier, or something you have to hand wherever you are.
Make sure that you involve objects that are not always accessible to your little one, so they become more interesting and alluring.
Be low-key in your offering of the object or activity; if you make too much of it, your child might well be put off. Even better if they discover its presence by themselves.
Check the activity is open-ended, will naturally lead your child on to playing something else independently, or has the potential to be a long enough challenge or game that will keep them engaged for as long as you need.
Make sure the activity is pretty much self-explanatory and self-exploratory.
Don’t intervene if they’re playing with the stuff in a wholly different way to how you’d envisaged. Leave them be and let them play.
Try different set-ups often to keep them fresh and irresistible.
Think about the set-up’s element of surprise; it needs to be something that immediately grabs their attention.
Do listen out for genuine needs and always be subtly supervising.
Don’t expect every set-up to work every time.
Always be close at hand to keep an eye on your child, but try not to become involved in the activity – let them play independently.
Always check that the objects used for the set-ups are not choking hazards. This is especially important for the under-threes.
Older children might respond well to a timed activity, e.g. ‘when the timer goes off, Daddy will be finished and we can play something together’.
Be aware of your little one’s go-to type of play; if they’re mad on construction or imaginative play, for example, you can rely more on 10-second set-ups that spark playful activity in that direction.
Acknowledge to your child that they’ve allowed you to get your job done, if you made them aware that this was the purpose of this independent play time.
When I asked parents on Facebook what things their little ones seemed to resent them doing or just plain didn’t allow them to do without them wrapped around their legs, or equivalent, making phone calls or going to the toilet seemed to be most problematic. But there were numerous other everyday activities mentioned too, and some of these are listed below:
Grown-up activities, when children might need to ‘wait’:
Drying hair
Eating
Taking a shower
Shaving
Cleaning teeth
Daily stretches, exercises or yoga practice
Making a phone call
Going to the toilet
Getting dressed
Sitting down
Making a cup of tea
Making a sandwich/cooking
Fixing something
Changing a light bulb
Taking out the rubbish
Opening the mail
Clearing up after a meal
Paying bills
Making appointments
Listening to the weather or traffic news on the radio
Helping other children
Feeding a baby
Having a conversation with another adult
Out and about:
Waiting in a queue
Interaction at the counter in a shop, at the bank or post office
Having a (brief) business meeting
A doctor’s appointment
A dentist appointment
So, here are lots of examples of 10-second set-ups for those instances when you need your child to be calmly, happily and busily playing independently. This way to play is a quick-fix solution that will take
