LT: I look for what is going wrong.
AT: I look for what is going right.
LT: I am rigid and closed off from new ideas.
AT: I am open to new ideas.
LT: I am jealous and envious of others.
AT: I celebrate others’ success.
LT: I compare myself to others.
AT: I am authentic.
LT: I am a perfectionist.
AT: I focus on progress.
LT: I am fear-based.
AT: I focus on and notice blessings in life.
LT: I never feel that I have enough time or money.
AT: I am generous.
LT: I am a victim of PCOS.
AT: I am in control of my health.
As you learn to be a PCOS Diva, remember this mantra: “Progress, not perfection.” As long as you are progressing toward your goal, you are on the right path. Don’t wait for life to be perfect before you approach every day with an abundance mindset. There is no perfect. No one has a perfect life—no matter what it looks like on social media. Please do not put your life on hold while you wait to achieve some ideal. Donate those clothes you are waiting to fit back into. Love who you are in this moment, and appreciate what you have. Today, you are enough, you have enough.
It has taken me a long time to embrace “Progress, not perfection.” I am a recovering perfectionist. Striving for perfection left me exhausted, frustrated, and feeling bad about myself. Insisting upon perfection was taking a toll on myself and those around me. It was unsustainable. To get healthy, I had to put my perfectionist tendencies aside. I learned that missteps were lessons not failures.
If you are a recovering perfectionist like me, remember, as you move through the Healing PCOS 21-Day Plan, to not strive to do everything perfectly. Do as much as you can. Congratulate yourself on your successes. Learn from your missteps. The more you do, the faster you will feel better, but this is not a race; it’s your journey.
Let’s be real. This change in thinking doesn’t happen overnight. You didn’t just read the last two paragraphs and think, “Oh, okay. I am enough. Everything is fine. Phew.” Give yourself time to retrain your brain into thinking from an abundance perspective. We will work on this over the next 21 days. Remember, “Progress, not perfection.”
PCOS Divas live in a place of abundance (being your authentic self, making choices that make you happy, being grateful), not a place of lack (comparing yourself to everyone else, trying to be someone you are not, striving for perfection).
Mind Your Business
Living mindfully is a key element of living like a PCOS Diva. People who live mindfully are aware of the day minute by minute and appreciate the present moment’s abundance and challenges. In a world where no one seems to pay complete attention to anything, mindfulness is a powerful tool to help you avoid being overwhelmed.
Living mindfully helps PCOS Divas stay calm and centered. From this place, we can make good choices and keep the bigger picture in mind. For example, before my kids come home and the afternoon chaos begins, I make time for my afternoon snack and cup of tea. I do my best to sit for a few moments and savor it. I don’t check my email while I snack. I don’t fold laundry. I sit and enjoy a few minutes with my food. I think about what I am eating and simply experience the quiet moment. It isn’t always easy to carve out these few minutes, but I do my best to do it each day.
For most of us, it’s impossible to live mindfully all the time. Rather, it’s an ebb and flow. You are mindful, you lose your focus, and then you are mindful again. Repeat. The constant ebb and flow helps us appreciate the practice. There are three keys to mindfulness:
1 The past is the past. We can waste a lot of time thinking about the past and what might have been. “What if I had been diagnosed earlier?” “What if I recognized the signs?” PCOS Divas don’t waste their time rehashing the past. We think about the present and the future and move forward. Starting today, think about the person you strive to be and let today’s decisions be the decisions that your “ideal PCOS Diva self” would make.
2 Be in the present and grateful for today. Every day is a gift. Every day you are given is another day full of possibilities and choices. Make the most of it! Appreciate the little blessings that happen and learn to appreciate the challenges. Together, they make your journey. Remember that the happiest people aren’t necessarily those who are dealt the best hands; rather, they are those who make the best of the cards they’re dealt. During the Healing PCOS 21-Day Plan, you will spend a few moments each day with gratitude. You may be surprised how even these few moments will change your life.
3 Don’t fear the future. It is important to have long-term goals and look forward in order to anticipate roadblocks. That said, don’t let the vastness and complete unpredictability of the future overwhelm you. Your life is full of fantastic possibilities, and the road to get there is long and winding. Don’t lose the experience of the journey in a rush to get to your destination. Instead, try to live mindfully and manage your life moment to moment. For instance, when you are diagnosed with PCOS, you are initially overwhelmed with questions like, “Will I ever get pregnant?” and “Will I get diabetes?” Instead of zipping straight to these unanswerable questions, be mindful of the moment and get yourself on the path to wellness. Instead, ask, “What can I do today to start healing my body?” The steps you take to manage the issues of the day (insulin resistance, stress, etc.) will put you on the right track for the issues of the future (fertility, health).
“No” Is a Complete Sentence
In order to be mindful, we need to set priorities. You cannot be “in the moment” if you have to be in three places during that moment. For many of us, saying no can be difficult. We are programmed to accommodate as many people as possible, especially if they are important to us. In fact, you likely spend more time doing things for other people than you do for yourself.
Saying no and making yourself a priority does not have to be impolite or harsh. It isn’t selfish. You are simply setting priorities that help you do what you choose to do well and completely. In this age of multitasking, very little is ever truly done as well as it could be. We are pushed to the edge of our capacity.
Instead of feeling as though you have to justify it to yourself when to say no, try justifying what you say yes to. Say yes to the things that make you happy, give you enjoyment, benefit you, contribute positively to your health, or add meaning to your life. Setting boundaries enables us to live mindfully. Not only is this empowering; it’s necessary to your well-being and the well-being of those around you.
“When we stop listening to that voice in our head telling us we are not enough, we discover a voice in our soul who knows with certainty that we are more than enough.”
—CRYSTAL ANDRUS MORISSETTE
The Most Important Piece
If you have ever taken a commercial flight, you have heard the speech the flight attendant gives about oxygen masks. It goes something like this: “In the event of decompression, an oxygen mask will appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask toward you, place it firmly over your nose and mouth, and breathe normally. If you are traveling