“I have been a PCOS Diva for a year now, and I feel healthy and alive. I actually want to go outside and run around with my eleven-year-old, and my relationships have shifted in a huge way. I finally believe in myself and can say for the first time in my life that I feel love and compassion for myself, which allowed me to believe that my husband loved me no matter what. This was a big one for me, because I realized that I had been living my life with the belief that I didn’t deserve to be loved; not by others or by myself. I feel strong and capable and know that I have control over the whole big picture of PCOS now.”
—NICOLE M.
If you believe that you must be at your destination, you will find a way. Healing is the same. It is much harder to give up on something you know you deserve, something you must be, something that is a part of you. You will make choices and take actions based on thinking like a PCOS Diva, you will start to feel better, and the PCOS Diva lifestyle will stick for life.
Mastering Your Mindset
The victim, fighting, and lack mindsets frequently hold us back. By upgrading these mindsets to in control, partnering, and abundance we will upgrade your thinking to the PCOS Diva level.
From a Victim to an In-Control Mindset
A victim is someone who has been hurt or taken advantage of by someone or something and feels helpless in the face of the circumstances. I can understand why many women with PCOS feel like victims of their syndrome. I did. Living each day with frustrating and often embarrassing symptoms can wear you down and make you feel helpless. The feeling of helplessness grows when doctors’ advice and drugs don’t seem to help.
The problem with considering yourself a victim of PCOS is that the very act of deciding you are a victim takes away your power. Victims are powerless against their circumstances. When you decide that you are a victim, you choose not to act and take control. You choose to let circumstances or symptoms “win.” You stop looking for solutions.
The fact that you have PCOS isn’t your fault. Choosing to be a victim is. Here’s the thing: PCOS Divas are not victims. We are not powerless. Our bodies have not betrayed us. We are not helpless in the struggle against our symptoms.
Step one to thriving with PCOS is deciding that you can thrive with PCOS. So PCOS Divas take control of two things. First, we take control of our mindset and begin to think like a PCOS Diva.
I deserve to feel good.
I take steps to feel better.
I can thrive and live my best life.
I work with my body.
I am in control of my PCOS (or at least I am working on it).
Step two is taking control of our body, what we put in it, and how we use it and care for it.
I eat in a way that shows I love my body.
I move in a way that I enjoy and makes me strong.
I seek out knowledge about PCOS and how to heal.
I ask for support.
I don’t take the first answer I am given. I research and get second opinions.
I treat my body and mind with love and respect.
“I have never felt better about myself. I sit here crying because I am getting healthy! I am taking my life into my own hands. I am no longer a victim. I do not have to live like everyone else is going to fix it. I see life through new eyes, and I have the ability to choose good things. To choose health. To choose self-care. To choose self-nurture. To choose me.”
—NELDA
When you stop playing the victim and take the power into your hands, you make the decisions that make you better. There is no waiting around for things to get better on their own or for a doctor to prescribe a magic pill. You’re in charge!
A PCOS Diva is not a victim (feeling hopeless and looking for pity). She is in control (in charge and hopeful).
Good news. You’re already embracing an in-control mindset. Choosing to become a PCOS Diva is empowering. Choosing this book was an empowering decision that set you on the right path. You are taking control. You are already on your way!
From now on, you will make a conscious choice every day to be in control of your health, happiness, and PCOS. Positive habits, like eating foods that heal your body, will spring from that choice.
From a Fighting to a Partnering Mindset
Now that you are taking control of your PCOS, it’s time to get your mental and physical selves working together. I often hear women say they are “fighting” their symptoms or “conquering” or “battling” PCOS. Let’s stop approaching our lives that way. Here’s why. When you have symptoms, it is not that your body is fighting or sabotaging you. Symptoms are your body’s way of communicating with you. Think of it as your body waving a red flag that something is wrong and asking for help. For example:
Irregular periods → “Our hormones are out of whack. Can we fix this?”
Acne → “We have some inflammation going on. Can we tame these flames?”
Weight gain (especially around the middle) → “Our insulin is way too high. We are processing as fast as we can, but let’s get this under control!”
The moment you team up with your body and listen to its signals, you can hear those signals more clearly and soothe the symptoms in a loving way.
Divas take control of their health one step at a time. We know that our bodies are sending us signals about what is wrong and how to fix it. We work hard to tune in to those messages and work in sync. We don’t fight ourselves!
From a Lack to an Abundance Mindset
Approaching life from a lack mindset means focusing on the things that don’t go our way or what we don’t have. Instead, we can consciously choose to approach life from an abundance mindset, celebrating every day’s small triumphs and blessings.
Approaching the day from a place of abundance, gratitude, and positivity, looking for the good, changes everything. You will start to feel lighter and your stress levels will fall, and as a result you will begin to feel better. Solutions will present themselves.
“With the guidance of PCOS Diva, I went from feeling that something was wrong with my body, that my body was faulty and not fully feminine due to PCOS, to thriving, having cycles, and having a body that I loved. I followed your guidance and found that inside my body was perfect; it just needed more love, and I needed to be a ‘Diva’ and to take control of the way I cared for my body. I noticed changes after the first few weeks and have maintained a healthy body and menstrual cycles for three years (after having never had normal cycles in my entire life) at the age of thirty-five.”
—JENNIFER R.
Lack Thinking (LT): I will never be enough.
Abundance Thinking (AT): I am enough.
LT: