‘Why were you kissing that man? Are you fucking him?’ he shouted as we walked home.
‘You know I’m not and I didn’t kiss him,’ I replied.
‘Yes, you did and now I know why you don’t want to have sex with me anymore.’
‘Oh, come on,’ I said wearily. ‘I’m just tired.’
Sergey slapped my cheek. ‘Don’t lie to me,’ he said.
‘Why are you doing this?’ I started to cry. ‘I promise you that I haven’t done anything wrong. You know I’d never cheat on you.’
‘No, I don’t,’ he shouted. ‘And today is your last day at work. You can’t go back.’
I didn’t argue with him as we walked back to the summer kitchen and got into bed. But when I woke the next morning, I got up to dress for work as usual and put some money on the table before leaving. Sergey would realise he was better off if I worked when he saw it.
Marina was waiting for me outside as I closed the door and it was quiet as we started walking. But yells suddenly filled the air and I turned around to see Sergey running towards us.
‘You fucking bitch,’ he shouted. ‘I told you that you couldn’t go back to that place. What the fuck are you doing?’
Marina looked so confused. I’d never told her the truth about Sergey. I didn’t talk to anyone about it and, although she’d been shocked when she saw how we lived in the summer kitchen, she had no idea how things really were.
‘Let’s go,’ I said as I started running. We managed to stay ahead of him for a while but as we reached the road, Sergey caught me. Blows flew into my body as I fell to the ground.
‘Why didn’t you listen?’ he screamed. ‘I meant what I said, you know. Fucking bitch!’
A fist smashed into my stomach. ‘Please help me,’ I cried to Marina, but she was scared and didn’t know how to stop Sergey as he ripped at my clothes. ‘Why are you doing this?’ I screamed at him. ‘We need the money. I can’t just leave my job.’
‘Whore! You’re doing all those Muslims and now you don’t want me.’
‘What are you saying?’ Marina suddenly shouted. ‘It’s not true. Stop this. Leave her alone.’
Sergey said nothing but the punches stopped as suddenly as they’d begun and I looked up to see a car parked beside us. Two customers I knew from the café were getting out as Sergey walked quickly away. I lay on the ground and pulled my cardigan around me, trying to hide my underwear as I sobbed.
The customers were kind and helped me up. I managed to put my dress back on and hold the rips together until I could pin them at the café. My eye had started to blacken by the time Aziz arrived and Marina told him what had happened.
‘Is he crazy?’ Aziz asked when she’d finished.
I said nothing. All I could think about was going home later. I was so scared. What would Sergey do to me this time? I knew what he was capable of—a belt, a knife, he didn’t care what he used to hurt me. But, however much I wanted to run, I couldn’t leave Sasha.
Later that evening, I stood outside the door to the summer kitchen and held my breath. I’d been standing there for a few minutes trying to make my hand reach out and turn the handle. I knew I couldn’t fight back if Sergey beat me. I’d tried in the past and look what had happened. I was weak and he was strong—I’d never win.
But the summer kitchen was in darkness when I finally opened the door. Maybe my neighbour Janna would know where Sergey and Sasha were. She made vodka and so Sergey often went to see her.
‘Oxana,’ she exclaimed when she opened the door.
‘Do you know where Sergey is?’ I asked. ‘He’s not at home and I want to find Sasha.’
‘The baby is here with me. But don’t you know what’s happened?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Sergey is in hospital.’
‘What?’
‘In hospital,’ Janna exclaimed, her eyes widening in excitement.
‘But why?’
‘He got beaten up. Some men arrived earlier to see him and the next thing I knew Sergey was staggering out of the summer kitchen covered in blood. Barely walking. Half dead.’
I felt sick as I stared at Janna. Finally Sergey knew what it was like to be beaten but, although I knew I should be happy, all I felt was fear. What had he done now? Would those men come back for me?
It was too late to go to the hospital that night but I told Marina I wouldn’t be going into work when she came to pick me up the next morning and I arrived at the hospital to find Sergey lying in bed. His lip was split, his jaw was black and he’d bruised his kidneys.
The muscles in his face twitched as he looked at me.
‘What happened?’ I asked.
‘Well, you should know.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Didn’t you send them?’
‘Who?’
‘Your fucking Muslim lovers,’ Sergey spat. ‘The ones who did this to me. Men from the café you love so much.’
‘What are you talking about?’ I whispered. ‘Of course I didn’t send anyone. I knew nothing about it.’
‘Well, we’ll see about that won’t we? I’ll be home soon and then we’ll know the truth about your customers.’
How could that be true? I didn’t believe him. At work, I said to Aziz, ‘My husband seems to think you sent some men to beat him up. Is he crazy?’
Aziz looked me straight in the eye. ‘No, Oxana, he’s right. I sent my men to teach your husband a lesson in respect. I will not tolerate him treating you that way, or making his scandalous accusations against my good name. Now he knows we’re watching him and if he touches you then all you’ll need to do is let us know.’
I gasped. So it was true! But this was terrible. Rage coursed through me. ‘And then what?’ I screamed. ‘Are you going to feed my baby every day, look after him, put money on the table when you’ve killed my husband?’
Aziz frowned and said nothing.
‘No? So how will I live? How will my baby eat without a man to bring home money or someone to look after my child while I work for you? Can’t you see what you’ve done? I can never come back here now, and my husband will probably kill me for it.’
‘No, Oxana, you’re wrong. Stay here and you’ll be safe. I promise.’
‘I can’t.’ Shaking with anger, I turned around and slammed out of the café. Aziz might have thought he was protecting me but this wasn’t an end—it was only just the beginning. I was sure of just one thing. The moment we were alone Sergey would have his revenge.
It was like waiting for a bomb to go off when Sergey came home after a week in the hospital. I didn’t know what would trigger the explosion but knew it would come soon and so I became more and more scared when he was silent. It was as if nothing had ever happened and neither of us mentioned Aziz or the café. But the relief I felt each night when I went to sleep without a beating was replaced by fear as the waiting started once again the next morning.
I missed working at the café—the money I’d earned, the food we’d eaten, the friends I’d made—but couldn’t go back. My door into a new world had slammed shut and I was as trapped as ever on the wrong side. I still saw Marina and she brought me bits of money and food whenever she could but we didn’t talk about what had happened. Our lives were just too different and I wanted to forget mine when I was with her.