Tape a medley of you singing baby’s favourite lullabies. Your familiar voice may help baby settle when put to sleep by someone else.
For babies in a cradle or cot, turn on a musical mobile to help baby associate the gentle movement and the sound with going to sleep. If the mobile helps to get him to sleep, restart it when he wakes to get him back to sleep.
Besides choosing music that is easy listening to your ears, select tunes that your baby enjoys. Infants usually settle better with classical music that has slowly rising and falling tempos with lots of repetitive themes. Simple music with repetitive rhythms tends to work best. Turbulent rap or rock music is likely to be a night waker. A music box with classics, such as Brahms’ Lullaby, is a proven settler. For some suggestions from the Sears’ family library of music to fall asleep by, see Appendix A.
Dad’s deep tones. Some babies really take to Dad’s full, rumbly tones. Besides hearing his voice, they can feel the vibrations from the voice box when held on Dad’s chest. (See the neck nestle, page).
Rhythmic music. Music with simple repeating words and rhythms is soothing to babies. Nursery rhymes and lullabies are the classic examples. Even quiet pop music with a steady beat can get baby into the rhythm of sleep. Peaceful classical music is another favourite. Complex classical music, on the other hand, can be over stimulating.
More sounds to sleep by. Use white noise – monotonous sounds that block out other noises and bore a baby to sleep. Besides the continuous monotone humming or “Shhhh” of a parent, here are some white-noise sounds that work:
Sound of a fan, air conditioner, or even tape recordings of womb sounds or vacuum cleaner sounds. (Don’t wear out your vacuum – record the sound.)
Running water from a nearby tap or shower. (Record it to conserve water.)
A bubbling fish tank.
A loudly ticking clock or a metronome set at sixty beats a minute. (These can be tape-recorded too.)
Recordings of waterfalls or ocean sounds.
Rocking in a rocker to the hum of a small fan.
I wore my baby in a sling while vacuuming. The sounds lulled him to sleep and I got some cleaning done.
Our son loves to feed to sleep and sometimes will prolong the feed as much as 30–40 minutes. My partner realized one evening that our son had fallen asleep after only ten minutes while feeding and listening to a quiet Mummy and Daddy conversation. I decided to tape our conversation one evening. Now when our son needs to go to sleep a little faster and my partner isn’t around to talk to, I just play our Mummy and Daddy tape.
If baby is restless and won’t feed off to sleep, my partner turns on the dishwasher for white noise and then walks baby for a while.
Motion for sleep. What baby doesn’t like motion? This is why babies fall asleep in swings, rockers, cars, and while being held and walked. Here are suggestions for slings, swings, and other things you can use to lull baby to sleep:
Rocking. Mum or Dad’s arms and the steady motion of a rocking chair have been putting babies to sleep for ages.
Cradle. Gently rock baby’s cradle to lull baby to sleep or back to sleep.
Baby swing. Many babies will drift off to sleep in a baby swing at nap time or bedtime.
Baby slings. “Wearing baby” in a sling or other infant carrier while you move about simulates the womb environment and will soothe baby to sleep. (See wearing down).
Dancing for all the senses. You can combine all kinds of sensory input in a dance that will envelop baby in a soothing environment. This works well for fussy babies or those that fight sleep. Snuggle baby in your arms, either in the cradle hold, up on your shoulder, or draped tummy down over your forearm. Move around gently in all directions – up, down, and back and forth, and pat baby’s bottom as you hum, sing, or make other gentle sounds. All this gentle stimulation blocks out the anxious, fretful feelings coming from inside of baby and really takes baby back to the womb.
science says: crying it out could be harmful to babies
Is it possible that excessive crying can harm a baby’s intellectual, emotional, and social development? Here is how science answers this alarming question:
Infants who are routinely separated from parents in a stressful way have abnormally high levels of the stress hormone cortisol and lower growth hormone levels. These imbalances inhibit the growth of nerve tissue in the brain.1, 2, 3, 4
Researchers at Yale University and Harvard Medical School found that intense stress early in life can alter the brain’s neurotransmitters and structure in a similar way to that found in adults with depression.5, 6
A study from the University of Hertfordshire, U.K., showed infants with persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to grow up to have ADHD, concluding this may be due to unresponsive parenting.7
Research at Baylor University found when chronic stress over-stimulates an infant’s brain, the child will grow up with an overactive adrenaline system, causing aggression, impulsivity, and violence later in life.8
Studies at the UCLA School of Medicine found the stress hormone cortisol actually destroys nerve connections in critical portions of an infant’s developing brain, and when babies are neglected, they can grow up to be violent, impulsive, and emotionally unattached children.9, 10
Doctors at Case Western and Duke Universities showed prolonged crying in infants caused increased pressure in the brain, elevated stress hormones and decreased oxygenation to the brain.11, 12
Researchers found babies whose cries are usually ignored will not develop healthy intellectual and social skills.13
Doctors at the National Institute of Health found that infants with prolonged crying (not due to colic) in the first 3 months of life had an average IQ 9 points lower at five years of age and had poor fine motor development.14
Infants with excessive crying during the early months show difficulty controlling their emotions and become even fussier when parents try to console them at 10 months.15
All babies cry, and most babies grow up to be emotionally and neurologically healthy children. However, this research is clear on one point: intense, extended periods of crying alone can permanently harm a baby’s developing brain. What does this mean for the CIO method? A baby who only cries briefly for a few nights is probably fine. What about crying for many minutes, night after night? We can’t say how many minutes and how many nights are safe, because no one has ever researched this. We urge parents to be very cautious if they decide to try this method.