Two stunning beauties took the stage. They smiled. They threw off the bottom and started pounding me. Their scheme was worked out – Chamomile, making a grip from behind, tried to reach my ear with his teeth, and Violet, standing in front, kept adjusting her glasses and finally, having calculated the trajectory, flopped to her knees and bit me painfully. After the second round, I flopped down on a chair exhausted and almost numb with surprise – my dear mother with a mop jumped out into the ring and began to belittle me sobbing: – Son, I forgot what the aab scheme is. Forgive God! – In parts A, the established schemes are used. Part B consists of some imrovisations. The gong sounded. “Girls from real jazz” beat me in the stomach with their head, dragged me by the hair and finally began to pour a violet-chamomile blend from Chanel on the haggard and defeated. – Mom, dear, – I shouted – let them throw the white towel! “They can’t,” Mommy answered, “they forgot to wash it. – Well, at least you rubbed the dust? – already in delirium I asked. – There is no dust here. There is hay, – answered the calm voice of a girl in a leather jacket. – Hay. Straw. Hay. Straw, – I rushed to the left, then to the right, reflecting the imaginary blows of my rivals. “Cuddle up to me,” the girl whispered, “and listen.
7. NO SNACK
Valyok took out the key and opened the apartment door. The day was sunny and therefore it was light at home. I was hungry. He walked into the kitchen and looked around. There was a covered frying pan on the stove. Mom was not at home. Having removed the lid of the frying pan, Valyok discovered there a rare thing in the house in the post-perestroika years – meat. Pieces of grilled meat! The last time he ate such a dish was several years ago, when Banana took him outside to play, and in an hour, with a saxophone and a guitar, they made a lot of money. And now the fried meat was just as delicious as it was then. The phone rang. Valyok picked up the phone:
– Yes… what time …? Good.
An hour later he was already at the station and, noticing Fomich, Valera and Relative, greeted:
– Hey!
– Hey!
– Have you taken everything?
– Yes.
– I’ll go buy cigarettes.
Returning Valyok noticed a strange type squatting next to standing friends. The strange type was a completely intelligent guy of about thirty, but either there was something repulsive in the guy, or Valek was annoyed with something:
– What, Fomich, are the blue ones again sticking?
Tip stood up to his full height and Valyok hesitated a little. There was no fight. Imperceptibly during the conversation, an electric train approached. Having picked up bags and backpacks, everyone hurried to the cars, and the intelligent type did not lag behind:
– Take me with you?
– No.
– It’s a pity!
– Selyavi!
Half an hour later, unloading from the carriage, everyone set out on a journey. The hardest of the luggage was the button accordion, which was dragged in turns.
Arriving at the place, taking off their backpacks and having a rest, they did not notice how the evening approached.
– Well, fishing?
– Do you have any fishing rods?
A relative gave each a fishing rod, and after digging up worms and wandering in search of a pond for some time, they all sat down on the shore. No fish was caught. A huge yellow moon appeared in the sky. On such a night, only wolves and werewolves were missing.
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