A play for 5 people. Defrosting relationships. Nikolay Lakutin

MOISEEVNA (busily): But! With all this, I do not interfere in your life. Or at least I'm trying to stay out of it! It seems to turn out…

      YAKOV (with doubt): Yes, not really …

      AURORA MOISEEVNA( with interest): Well? What did I do wrong again?

      Yakov glances at his mother, starts eating, invites the hero of the occasion to the table. The mother reluctantly sits down next to her, supports the meal symbolically, looks with interest at her son.

      YAKOV (trying to change the subject): Where are your friends? Why is there no one here? Or did you just invite us?

      AURORA MOISEEVNA (suspiciously): Yes, there were friends, they have already left. I specifically invited them three hours earlier. To make everyone feel comfortable. Again, I thought about you and Susanna. And you're talking… In general, do not talk my teeth. Tell me, what happened with you?

      YAKOV (eating and answering the question): Well… at first, she took a long time to get ready. Something got stuck, something kept pulling the rubber. And you know how much I hate waiting, right?

      AURORA MOISEEVNA (approvingly): I know! No one likes it.

      YAKOV (eating and answering the question): You know. And my wife knows perfectly well. Not once was she told to be faster. And everything is like peas against the wall. Or maybe she's deliberately making me angry every time, trying to annoy me… Don't know. But, in general, until she tried on her entire wardrobe, she did not calm down. I finally chose something! I had already called out to heaven with gratitude, but then she remembered that she urgently needed to send some report that she forgot to send yesterday. Well, God be with him, it's a matter of a minute whether it's a long time to send a file by e-mail. Well, wherever there is… I sat down to send it, chatted with a friend. Word for word, I'm already all over it… Went out, in general. I point at my watch, twirl my finger at my temple, and she waves at me, saying, now-now. They came out later, of course. Then there was a queue at the checkout in the store, but she also forgot something there, she had to go back. In general, word for word. She freaked out and ran away. And here I am. And happy birthday to you for the third time. That's it!

      Yakov defiantly throws something from the table into his mouth, at the end of his story. He has spoken out, he feels good, he tastes good, life goes on.

      But the mother is sitting in a misunderstanding.

      AURORA MOISEEVNA (questioningly): Well…?

      YAKOV (sincerely not understanding): Well, what?

      AURORA MOISEEVNA (inquiringly): Well, so, what does it have to do with me?

      YAKOV (sincerely indignant): How does this have anything to do with it? Were you in a hurry for your birthday?

      AURORA MOISEEVNA (relieved): Oh…, well, yes. I presented it here, so I presented it. You can't get away with it. My fault, I admit. I repent. I'm a bad mother-in-law. Look what you've decided… She took it into her head to celebrate her birthday, which called into question a strong, cohesive, reliable and unbreakable marriage like the army of the Vatican.

      YAKOV (appreciating the sarcasm): Come on. There will be irony. Well, of course, everything I've told you is just the consequences. And the source of ignition of emotional and psychological processes began even before that, on the eve of today's visit. She doesn't want to come to you. So he comes up with various scandals. So he tries to create situations in which we will inevitably quarrel. I understand all this. I endure – I endure, but my patience is not unlimited.