That’s why I’m acting like this. You have to get used to free love.
Leni, having discarded his next historical work, and left Gershon alone, sat down at the table and began to scribble with a pen, recording new thoughts:
– “The emancipation of the spirit of sensuality, energy directed not at pseudo-family values, will help to throw this clot on the cause of the victory of socialism,” he argued to his colleagues in the usual manner, turning his balding bowler hat in one direction and then in the other, and drilling a wild look at his interlocutors and followers.
“Undoubtedly, sexual oppression is the main means of enslaving a person. As long as there is such oppression, there can be no real freedom. The family, as a bourgeois institution, has completely outlived itself. We need to talk more about this to the workers, “the leader said to his colleagues.
– No family, down with the family, to hell with the family. Only the bourgeoisie can so oppress a woman.
– The family is the shackles. Down with the shackles! – the future Sverdlov, who came running to Katznelson, expressed the smartest idea.
“And not just the family. All prohibitions concerning sexuality should be lifted… We have much to learn from the suffragettes: even the ban on same – sex love should be lifted,” Lenin concluded wisely.
The clever ideas expressed by the henchmen of the little menagerie could not be put into practice any time soon. The revolutionary situation has not yet arisen, the coup d’etat has not yet taken place in Petrograd. Lenin did not even prepare for it: in his intelligent head, various thoughts wandered, which he gave out on Gore, including these: there will be no world revolution in Russia, too, and you will have to drag out a miserable existence as an emigrant.
We will return to the sexual freedom that schizophrenics were so eager for.
There was a change in Lenin’s life, a so-called leap: he met Inessa Armand, the mother of five children. She miraculously retained her attractiveness, was smart, educated, and dressed like a Parisian, but Lenin still did not walk on four legs, and his heart was a man’s, it jumped, so that a revolution occurred in the brain. And all this against the background Of the fact that Nadia’s wife is quiet, outwardly
Nadezhda Konstantinovna Krupskaya soon after her marriage was transferred to a servant as soon as Inessa Armand appeared. She bravely endured, accepted the humiliating situation and …she survived Inessa by ten years: Lenin sent his mistress to the other world as soon as he got tired of her.
6
And Krupskaya survived not only Inessa, but also the “immortal” Ilyich himself. Even a simple proletarian could lose his head, not like the leader of the world revolution.
Her rapprochement, her approach to the baton family, was a secret joy for all the members of the clan. A secret decision was made to remain silent and admire.
But one day, two months later, she felt that something was wrong and was forced to seek medical help. The doctors carefully examined the patient and stated with a malicious smile: you have syphilis, but it is not yet in the advanced form. We need to start treatment immediately.
With tears in her eyes, she returned home and did not find her legal spouse in Ilyich’s office, – asked:
– Volodya, where did you get syphilis? Before I met you, I was healthy, and now I have this terrible disease. Are all geniuses syphilitic? Nadezhda Konstantinovna was checked by doctors?
– Nadenka and I haven’t slept in the same bed for a long time. I have her as a party comrade, “Lenin burst out laughing. He gave Inessa a snakelike smile, then found Nadia studying mordychai’s Capital (Marx), and said:
– Comrade Nadia, not a step from here, do not leave the Capital open, do not leave it, do not come to me, I have an important conversation with members of the French delegation…to spread the ideas of Marxism. Work on the study of “Capital” our father Mordica-Marx… on fresh air. There is no wind, no rain, the garden bench is empty, it is waiting for you.
Nadia bowed her head and obediently left. The leader burst out laughing, then embraced Inessa and with revolutionary pathos began to explain the methods of fighting syphilis, which were equated with the methods of fighting capitalism.
– I don’t care about your capitalism or even your Mordechai Marxism: you gave me an incurable disease. In “Capital” Mordecha Marx does not say anything about syphilis and how to deal with it, – said Inessa Armand.
– Nadenka, I’m sorry, my dear Inessochka, as soon as the world revolution occurs, we will take up syphilis. A doctor gave me a thousand gold rubles as a bribe and told me that the more often we sin in bed, the more syphilis will recede further and further. This is true. I feel much better after meeting you. Therefore, let us give up relying on bourgeois doctors, and we will meet more often on the bed of love, give ourselves more warmly to each other, and thus, perhaps long before the world revolution begins, we will be cured naturally.
Lenin spoke pathetically and convincingly. Inessa had no choice but to agree with the opinion of her lover, who passionately proved the truth of his view of the problem, and she obediently, imitating Nadia, said:
“Have it your way, genius of evil. Let’s go to your bedroom.
“To our bedroom, the bedroom of the proletariat,” Lenin corrected, and burst out laughing. – As soon as we defeat these goose fools, I will issue a decree on free love, let young people walk around our cities in the Nude: everyone will hold their partner by the breast, and she will hold his twig and both will be happy – that’s what our revolution, my revolution, will give these fools.
And he laughed again, even though Inessa wasn’t naked yet.
This wild laughter, called Homeric laughter by Lenin’s colleagues and followers, chilled Inessa’s soul, and therefore she was always submissive and silent with her chosen one.
One day, both colleagues, infected with the proletarian disease, went to the mountains, taking Nadia with them as a porter and cook. She carried a huge samovar and a heavy bag of groceries.
Later, outstanding scientists of the Soviet country will explore every path where the foot of the leader, his friend Inessa Armand and the porter Nadezhda Konstantinovna set foot. Hundreds of dissertations will be written on this topic, and"stupid” doctors of pseudoscience will fool young people studying at universities in the country: it is Lenin himself, the genius of all mankind, who strolled through the mountains of Switzerland with his beloved wife and a party comrade.
7
The Soviet government came out with a proposal to Finance the installation of monuments on every path where the foot of a genius set foot.
Do you understand, dear comrades? the Swiss mountains are completely different and the greenery is different. This is the Marxist greens. There is a special smell, a special aroma, I was lucky enough to be in those places when I was collecting material for writing a dissertation, one or the other declared
future stupid-ass Professor. There is even the leaves of the alfalfa smell of Marxism.
And the students were supposed to listen with their mouths open and even applaud.
* * *
The October revolution was a success not only because of Lenin, but also because of Germany, which so generously financed the Russian Jacobins, without giving any importance to the national composition of the most ardent revolutionaries. Ironically, it was Lenin’s heirs who defeated Germany and divided it into two parts; if the Marxists are to be believed, then the CPSU, not the Russian people, won the victory over Hitler. The Russian wine is also viewed the intelligentsia, which, without knowing it,