Heather, Kirsty and all the members of the team we met along the way were absolutely amazing: kind, compassionate and incredibly professional. I am forever grateful that they made our home birth experience so special. I can't recommend the Homebirth Team enough.
Victoria's Story
Every night in my 39th week of pregnancy I kept going to bed thinking: is this it, will we get to meet our baby tonight? It's such a weird feeling having absolutely no control of your body and not knowing when such a big life change will happen.
I'll be honest: it felt really lonely waiting, especially as my husband was working all week. I kept telling myself you just have let it go and trust my body will do what it needs to do when it's ready to do it. As I knew from practising hypnobirthing, my body would not begin the process of birth until it was fully relaxed and ready.
On the Thursday of that week, I was woken just after midnight by my waters breaking. It wasn't the big surge of water you imagine but enough to know that things were starting. I took myself to the bathroom, told my husband James and headed back into bed to try and get some rest. The surges began slowly so I started timing them using a brilliant app called ‘Freya’. Every time a surge (contraction) would start, I would press the button on the app and it would count through my surges. I messaged my midwife an hour later to let her know and also my student midwife, Maddy, who had been following my journey through pregnancy since my first appointment with the community midwife.
After a few hours, I decided to curl up on the sofa under a blanket with only a candle for light (Jo Malone London – Mimosa & Cardamom – a scent I'd been drawn to through my pregnancy) and listened to my birthing playlist through my headphones. Still counting and breathing through my surges.
Ollie (our three year‐old) woke up around 6.00 a.m. and by this time my surges were getting stronger but were still comfortable. He and my husband James started getting all the things needed for the birthing pool – old towels, waterproof sheets, the pool, hose, etc. He even got a chair from his room to put inside the pool, so I had somewhere to sit; this was particularly funny.
About this time one of my best friends messaged me this perfect quote: ‘My job is simply to relax and allow my body to birth my baby.’ Reading that along with my prepared positive affirmations, I was feeling strong and powerful at this point. I found walking around the house and taking myself from room to room to experience the surges really lovely. At one point I opened the front door to breathe in the sunlight and spring air. I remember looking out of my bedroom window a lot at our garden and spraying some of my Basil & Neroli Jo Malone London fragrance. It reminds me of bright spring mornings, and this was exactly what it was like this particular morning as the sun was rising.
I asked James to call the midwives around 8 a.m. as the surges were more powerful and he would be having to take Ollie to playschool at 9 a.m. and I didn't want to be on my own. They arrived around 8.30 and the pool started to be filled. Again, Ollie enjoyed helping with this job, as well as getting out his doctor's kit to show the midwives and playing them some tunes on his guitar. He kept them highly entertained. And I was so happy he was around for this part of the labour.
The midwives arrived so quietly, just coming into my bedroom to listen to baby's heartrate and taking my blood pressure. Apart from that they completely left me alone. I remember thinking I should offer them a cup of tea, but they just helped themselves which was perfect. I also remember thinking they must be so bored; but they were great, so patient and so calm and quiet, just letting my body do its thing. I really appreciated not having that transition to the hospital this time round (as I had done with Ollie).
Whilst James was taking Ollie to playgroup, I heard the midwives getting pots and pans of water on the cooker so they could help fill the pool up quicker, as they said now that Ollie had gone my surges would probably get stronger. They were right, my body felt more relaxed now he wasn't there, and things really kicked in. By the time James got home I was needing him for the surges and found standing backwards leaning on his hands for him to take my weight was the most comfortable way to get through them. I finally got into the pool around 9.30 and it was heavenly. The warmth of the water definitely helped with the strength of the surges I was experiencing, and I enjoyed floating there.
Sometime not much later, I lay floating on my side and holding my student midwife, Maddy's, hand. I burst into tears for some reason and just had a massive cry. They say this is common when a woman is in the ‘transition’ phase. That feeling of ‘I can't do this’ takes over. However, I knew to expect this so told myself this must be transition. That means I'm about to enter the pushing phase of the birth so needed all the strength I could get. Soon my body had the pushing sensations (think of an involuntary surge when you're sick), your body completely takes over and sort of feels like it has convulsions. This is where my animal instincts took over and my mooing sounds erupted (my poor neighbours). I knew the baby was getting lower and lower as the midwives were checking the pulse with a Doppler and that was getting lower and lower. I didn't need to ask them; I just knew.
The strongest pushes soon came, and I could feel the head appearing. But it almost came out and popped back up again. I definitely had a feeling that I wouldn't be doing this again at that point. Then in the next push the head was out. I actually felt down and just felt a full head of hair which was an unforgettable moment.
In the next push the whole body was out, Maddy caught the baby underwater and brought it up and out and into my arms to Coldplay's song ‘A Sky Full of Stars’. I felt numb holding this little body, I just couldn't move my arms or body to even see if it was a boy or a girl.
James announced it was a baby girl.
Well, I just cried and cried, and the midwives shed a little tear too. I just couldn't believe it. I honestly didn't think I had a preference, but I was overjoyed to have a girl. She wouldn't open her eyes to start with as the sun was shining in at her through the window, but when she finally did she looked straight at us.
I hadn't even noticed another midwife had arrived to support us and unbeknown to us she had filmed it. This sounds gross and weird, but you just see Isla coming out the water; it is incredible to watch back and relive this moment again and again. The next few hours were so calm and relaxed. I stayed in the water for a little while just holding her until the placenta was delivered, and I handed her to James at that point.
The midwives helped me get out of the pool and onto the sofa where I pretty much stayed all afternoon drifting in and out of sleep and cuddling my baby daughter.
Lessons Learnt
The above stories demonstrate some wonderful aspects of the ‘with woman’ concept and highlight some valuable lessons that can be learnt from midwives' and women's birth experiences. Victoria's (the midwife) account perfectly illustrates how the woman's physical wellbeing is preserved though the attributes of a calm, relaxed and quiet atmosphere. A therapeutic relationship between the woman and midwife is portrayed through the woman's perceptions of empowerment. She is fully in control of her environment and the birth experience through minimal intervention by the midwife (no vaginal examination and a physiological third stage) resulting in an intact perineum and early initiation of breastfeeding.
Lucy's account highlights the value of continuity of carer using her intuitive knowledge. This is beautifully illustrated when despite being told that the rate and strengths of contraction were not indicative of active labour, Lucy actively listened to Fiona and engaged fully with her to understand how events were unfolding. Lucy's quote is illuminative of the wonderful attributes that she displays in truly being ‘with woman’. Lucy says, ‘listen carefully to a mother and she will tell you her story; engage with her and you will understand it’.
Finally, the women's stories