Being one of the only Jews taking that course, however, invited a multitude of questions from my classmates. These were questions I had heard through the years about why Jewish people believe certain things, why they perform the rituals they do, what is the significance of the Jewish calendar, and what are the origins of many customs and practices.
I can say this: I believe that in the heart of the Jewish people there exists a deep-seated desire to be permitted to pray in our own way, to observe God the way we wish, and to live a life of peace. I would guess that this desire is similar to that of non-Jews as well. You could call this a basic desire for religious tolerance, and Christians certainly understand this, since virtually every religious group in history has sought religious tolerance and the freedom to worship in its own way. In its time, each group has experienced terrible ordeals, but I am most familiar with the history of the Jewish people, a nation that has been enslaved, expelled from numerous countries, and suffered at the hands of those who wished to exterminate it completely, and a nation that continues to endure persecution in its many subtle and overt forms. The story of Judaism and the Jewish way of life is a complicated one.
Besides normal curiosity, many Christians and other non-Jews desire a basic understanding about the Jewish people and their holidays, customs, and history. This desire often arises as a result of marriage and family relationships, friendships at work, social situations, or church activities.
For example, Christians who have married members of my family have questions about the holidays that they now help celebrate even while maintaining their own religious beliefs. To cite another example, my wife and I have participated in interfaith meetings in an attempt to coordinate efforts and rally political support to help improve social and educational services in our city. In addition, while it is common to have Christmas parties in the workplace or in schools, often Jewish holidays such as Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), Passover, and Hanukkah are also celebrated, raising the curiosity of non-Jews present at the occasions.
I am a layman, and I write from the perspective of someone who considers himself an “average Jewish American”—if there is such a thing. Whether you have a Jewish friend, spouse, employer, employee, or coworker, I hope that as a result of reading this book you become more knowledgeable about the issues of what it means to be a Jew, what the basic tenets and philosophy of Judaism are, and what problems contemporary American Jews face in today’s society.
So, I have written this book to satisfy curiosity, answer questions, and offer a resource for inquisitive people.
A Range of Jewish Lifestyles, Beliefs, and Behaviors
Even if I have never been a “practicing” or observant Jew, I’m still Jewish.
Whether I attend religious services or speak or read Hebrew, I’m still Jewish. Regardless of whether I have become a bar (or bat) mitzvah or been married in a Jewish ceremony (or, for that matter, married another Jewish person), I am still considered Jewish. Even if I’ve never stepped into a synagogue in my life, if I was born a Jew, I’m still a Jew. And if I’ve converted to Judaism, then I am considered as much a Jew as someone who is born a Jew.
I can renounce my Jewish heritage and religion and convert to another faith, in which case I might consider myself differently. I may even seek my own form of observance, define and embrace a personal concept of God, or combine tenets of several different religions. However, according to traditional Jewish law, I am still considered Jewish.
And when my time is up, even if I don’t know the first thing about the history of Judaism, the literature of the Hebrew Scriptures, or the difference between Hanukkah and harmonica, I can be buried as a Jew.
The problem with all this is that it causes a lot of confusion to non-Jewish observers. For example, if I have a Jewish friend who is very observant, attends synagogue services every day, always covers his or her head with some kind of hat or head-covering, recites prayers periodically throughout the day for myriad activities, keeps a strictly kosher home, and never works on the Sabbath, my friend will be considered a more observant Jew than I am. However, I am just as much a Jew as my friend is.
Many of the customs, procedures, beliefs, and behavioral aspects of the Jewish religion date back hundreds and even thousands of years. Most Jews throughout history lived in small, closed communities or ghettos and did not mix with general society, except perhaps for work or mercantile purposes. Today, of course, this is not true, especially in the United States (although there are always exceptions).
Thus, describing what it is like to be Jewish is like describing snow. While you can describe snow in terms of intensity, duration, wetness or dryness, inches of snowfall, historical perspectives, granularity, color, effect on visibility, and even the possibilities of school closings and ski conditions; you can also just say, “It’s snowing.”
It is really the range or spectrum of Jewishness that makes it difficult to describe or explain. An Israeli friend of mine describes it as a continuum. You can go from the ultra-Orthodox Jew all the way to the most liberal Reform Jew, from the extremist to the virtually nonobservant Jew, and still find some similarities of culture or belief. Even though there are more differences than commonalities, all of these people are Jews. While there may be very little that ties them together (even tradition is not a leveling factor), what they do have is a common lineage and a common ancestry—a common history.
When describing things Jewish, I often find myself saying things like, “Some Jews believe ...” or “Reform Jews do not generally follow ...” or “It is not uncommon for some Jews to . . .” The reason for all this hedging is that Jews typically do not agree on many aspects of what it means to be Jewish or of Judaism itself. That doesn’t mean, however, that I can’t give you an overview, a snapshot, or perhaps a sketch of the Jewish way of life—the customs and beliefs, the holidays and festivals, the history and people.
In many instances throughout this book, I introduce a term in one section and more fully explain it in a later chapter. Hebrew and Yiddish words are defined in the glossary along with their correct pronunciations.
Christians and Jews
Going to Church: The Jewish Roots of Christian Worship
Like my parents, I was born in Brooklyn, New York. And like many other post-World War 2 families, mine moved to the suburbs when I was just an infant. However, for many years, we made a weekly pilgrimage to my grandparents’ Brooklyn home in the heart of an East New York commercial and residential neighborhood.
It was in this city atmosphere that I first experienced multi-culturalism at its best. On the streets were people of all racial and ethnic backgrounds, speaking a variety of languages—Italian, Polish, Yiddish, German, Greek, and Russian. Churches and synagogues dotted the neighborhoods, and since we generally visited on Saturday or Sunday, the sidewalks were often filled with families on their way to or from religious services. I observed ministers, rabbis, priests, and nuns (dressed in full habits) on their way to wherever they were going.
My father once told me he clearly remembered a nun speaking a few words of Yiddish to him as a boy when his Italian friends introduced them. Not unlike multilingual shopkeepers in ethnic neighborhoods today, many immigrant Jewish shopkeepers learned to speak enough Italian to do business with their customers. (They encouraged their children to speak English at home while they themselves struggled with the language of their new homeland.) New York was truly a melting pot of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and humanity.
It was natural, perhaps, that