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‘This evaluation documents that Thomas Fargnoli has successfully completed the St. Mary Clinical Pastoral Formation Program through the Diocese of Camden.’
It seems as though your supervisor, Sister Arlene, was very impressed with you.”
“Well, as it turned out, she was more than just my supervisor, she turned out to be a spiritual guide for me, not merely for CPE, but for where I was in my life with regard to becoming a deacon, being a father, being a husband—she just brought everything together for me. CPE was a great experience—one of the best overall classes of my formation and Sister Arlene and Father Wilson made it even more for me.”
After a pause, Rick continued, “So, when you were ordained and your formation was behind you, how did you become a hospital chaplain?”
“Shortly after I was ordained, the diocese created a new health care ministry, called Vitality. Vitality offered an array of health care services. Their vision was to be a living witness of the Gospel in South Jersey through their work of compassionate outreach and care. In this regard, they wanted to create a chaplaincy team. Having just retired and after discussing this position with my wife, I reached out and was hired as an associate chaplain. I was responsible for two hospitals, one in Cherry Hill and one in Stratford. My specific duties, besides pastoral visits to patients, were to coordinate the administering of the Sacrament of the Sick and to coordinate parish EM visits. I figured that if I could coordinate software and system engineers across a multitude of domains, I could certainly do this job on a part-time basis. So, I became Deacon Tom, the associate chaplain!”
Rick seemed pleased with my explanation of how I became an associate chaplain. “So, you did this part-time?”
“Yes, I started out putting in about twenty hours a week, plus my normal parish involvement as a deacon.”
“So, if a patient was in dire need of a priest, would you call the priest?”
“Yes, I had a list of parish priests for each hospital. Each hospital had me listed as the one to call when there was such a need. I tried to maintain a round-robin system for calling priests so one parish didn’t get all the calls. If they saw Deacon Tom come up on their cell, they pretty much knew someone was dying.”
“And the EM coordination?”
“I trained and scheduled extraordinary ministers, or EMs as many refer to them—I always clarify the fact that EM is for extraordinary minister, not Eucharistic Minister. The EMs came from surrounding parishes for each of the two hospitals I was responsible for. They had to be EMs for their parish as a start, but there were many hospital rules, procedures, and etiquette that they had to learn before becoming a hospital EM, so I provided that necessary training and took them through the hospital pointing out everything they needed to know.”
Rick seemed content so far with how the interview was going. “You had a beautiful ministry, Tom, and it seems like you really enjoyed it. It also seems like the patients enjoyed your visits.”
“Yes, I did enjoy it.”
With a serious look on his face, Rick asked me directly, “Why did you ever leave hospital ministry?”
As I looked at Rick, I knew that question wasn’t going to be answered today. “I suppose I will eventually get to that but the answer is rather involved.”
Rick could tell I was somewhat drained from reliving that day at the hospital and sensed that I wasn’t ready to discuss why I left the hospital ministry. “Well, Tom,” he said, “I was interested in your hospital ministry and how you came about selecting that ministry and, well, you certainly provided me with a complete picture. You’ve given me such a depth of the ministry and of yourself—I will do my best to do your story justice in my article. Tomorrow, I would like to know more about how and why you became a deacon and about your formation. Does that sound okay?”
“That sounds good. How about nine o’clock?”
We agreed to continue the following morning at nine o’clock.
The Call
“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.”
Mathew 16:24
Rick showed up right on schedule at nine o’clock. Dorothy and I were just having our second cup of coffee. I showed Rick in and introduced him to Dorothy. I loved to watch peoples’ faces when they encountered Dorothy—she always made them smile. It was because she has that type of addictive smile herself, along with her sparkling eyes and a sincere and bright disposition. After I introduced them to each other, Dorothy asked Rick if he would like a cup of coffee, which he did. As we sat down in the living room, Dorothy brought Rick his coffee and, while warming up my cup, told us she was going over to her daughter’s house.
After Dorothy left, Rick smiled at me. “Your wife is beautiful and so nice.”
I acknowledged, “Yes, thank you, she is incredible. She is an answered prayer that saved my life. She actually tells me the same thing, so I guess we saved each other’s lives.”
Rick smiled again. “I would like to hear more about that for sure, but for today, I would like to understand how you decided to become a deacon. I know that the diaconate formation takes five to six years, which probably deters many men. I have also heard that many deacons, priests, and other religious vocations, felt that they were ‘called’ into their ministry. Did you feel called?”
On the surface, this was a fair and straightforward question, but I could feel myself starting to shake inside. Maybe Dorothy was right, maybe I should have turned down this interview. Maybe my wounds were not healed. After looking at Rick and gazing out the window for what seemed like a few minutes, I finally responded, “Sorry for the delay—I’ve learned to pause a little before answering questions. The pause allows me to take a deep breath and to say a brief prayer that the Holy Spirit will guide my response.”
Surprisingly, Rick seemed to completely understand. “Can you share your prayer?” he asked.
“It’s pretty simple really, something like, ‘Lord, fill me with your Spirit, help my response to be sincere and to be in accordance with your will. Amen.’”
Rick smiled. His smile made me smile and, more importantly, I felt myself start to relax. Something about Rick made me feel that he understood my explanations and examples almost better than I did. He never looked critical. He conveyed a demeanor that seemed to say, “I understand what you are trying to say.” That is saying something because I had convinced myself that no one could possibly understand what I had been through.
“Well, I have seriously entertained becoming a deacon at least two times during my adult life. I remember discussing it with Maryellen early in our marriage and then again after we were married for about 15 years.”
“Maryellen was your first wife?”
“Yes, we were married for forty years. We met in high school. We had an amazing life together with two beautiful children.”
Rick could see a gentle smile come over me as I mentioned Maryellen. I knew I would be talking about her in more detail as the interview progressed, but for now, decided to stick with discussing my diaconate calls. “On both occasions, I remember having the desire to follow Christ more intimately than just by going to church, reading scripture, volunteering, and all that I was doing, but on both occasions, we decided it was not the right time for that commitment based on our current life raising children, establishing my career, going to school, teaching part-time, etc. etc.”
Rick was nodding, “So you had the desire, you looked into it, but decided against it both times?”
“Yes, there was just too much going on in our life, and all good things. We loved raising our children and we loved being a part of their activities, as well as working and enjoying our home—I even