Pa had his say with Ellen. He did not think Jasper would be a good fit in the family. There was too much age difference--he was 37, and she was 16. He was more than twice her age! Ellen would explain the age difference by saying many young women married older men. Most of the time the marriages worked as long as the wives pretty well followed instructions of their husbands. There weren't enough men to go around. The war had caused the deaths of so many men, and others had been permanently maimed. Pa thought that Jasper was little more than a vagrant roaming around the South. He thought that there was a lot he didn't know about Jasper. He wanted Ellen to have a better man! But, Pa didn't change Ellen's mind.
With passion as high as it was, a way would be found for the couple to be together. So, in mid-January, Jasper made another trip to Tinnin. He was there three days. It was hog-killing time, and Jasper knew how to do what needed to be done. He worked side-by-side with Pa for a full day. Their work enhanced meals with fried fresh pork tenderloin and scrambled chicken eggs with hog brains. Delicious! The hog's bladder was removed, drained of liquid, and hung up to dry in the wagon shed. Once dry, baby Ira could play with it like a ball. It would last until it burst, and that could be fairly soon with rough play. And, as during his last visit, Jasper slept on the pallet made of corn shucks in a cotton-pick sack in the closet under the steps. Of course, he and Ellen had time together. Ellen would sneak into the closet to kiss him goodnight and, on the last night, said she loved him. He said the same back to her.
Jasper found his way back to Tinnin at least four more times before the end of February. His and Ellen's romance was moving fast. And Valentine's Day sped the romance along. Jasper came to see Ellen and brought her a small bottle of perfume. She adored it; she had never had perfume before. They embraced--took walks--held hands--and talked about a possible future together.
They reasoned that Pa and Ma had a big house that could be home to a young couple and that the 1,200 acres of farmland would provide enough for them to get into farming. Life and work would be hard, but that way of life is all they had ever known. They dreamed that they would later get a house of their own and become more independent. Or, as a newly wed couple, they could continue living in Sister Annie's Boarding House in Brandon. He could continue with his job, and she could seek work. But, Jasper didn't like the notion of his bride living at Sister Annie's; there were some tough guys there, and she might not be safe around them.
Jasper and Ellen never knew what soldiers would be doing and when they would pass through the area. The Union troops coming from Vicksburg were under orders to be very destructive. Any Confederates were fairly well demoralized because of the defeats they had experienced. That, however, didn't keep them from being mean. It was best to avoid where soldiers might be, and that wasn't easy, as the line of movement from Vicksburg to the east was along the route of the railroad. Until the war was over and all matters about it settled, uneasiness would always be a part of life in certain areas of the South.
More plans were made before the Valentine's visit was over. Things had to be kept simple; there wasn't much money or time. Those plans would go into early March. And, Ellen was not sure about the feelings of Pa and Ma, particularly Pa. He wanted the best for his oldest daughter. But, with the feelings that Ellen had for Jasper, would she really care? Maybe she should care; Pa was often right about things.
As for Ellen and Jasper, love was all about them. But how could it be? They hadn't known each other that long. There were many uncertainties. They didn't have education, personal possessions, or other things of worth; but they knew how to work and take risks. Ellen was smart, and Jasper was experienced. Together, they could figure things out.
Families Joining and Dividing
The first of March was fast approaching. Ellen and Jasper shared letters. They had made plans for something big in their lives. Jasper was coming to Tinnin on the last day of February, and Ellen was to travel to Brandon on the morning of March 1. (In 1864, February had 29 days--it was leap year and a great time for lovers and marriage!)
Right after Valentine's Day and Jasper's return to Brandon, Ellen spoke to Pa. She waited until he was alone. She told him that she and Jasper were in love and wanted to be married. Pa had a fit! He rarely cussed, but he did on this occasion. He said a lot of bad things about Jasper. He wondered aloud about how they had the money to get married and go about getting life together underway. And ended with, "Hell, no!"
Ellen thought, "How could Pa be so opposed to Jasper?" The next day Ellen again talked to Pa alone. She explained that she didn't think it was right for him to reject Jasper; she said Jasper was a good man who had been so nice to her. She said Jasper was the nicest man she had ever met. He would be coming there on the last day of February to talk about marriage. Pa said that there was no need for him to do so. His mind was set, and he wouldn't change; Jasper was not the right man for her. Neither would Ellen change; her mind was made up regardless of what Pa said.
The last day of February arrived. Jasper rode the train to Clinton and, miraculously, hitched a wagon ride with a stranger to Tinnin. Pa had forbidden Ellen to take a wagon to meet him. Jasper had to walk down the long hill on the dirt road. Bummer started barking as soon as he came into sight. Ellen heard Bummer and went outside to calm him. She looked up the road, and there was Jasper! Pa was out back tending to animals and did not see Jasper coming down the hill--probably just as well.
Ellen was so happy. She ran out to greet Jasper, meeting him about halfway up the hill. She hugged him; he hugged her back. Ellen was nervous when she told Jasper a little of what Pa had said. Anyway, Jasper was at the Shepard home, and he and Ellen would do the best they could. Jasper thought that he loved Ellen so much that her pa's feelings were not about to change his mind. He really didn't like the way Pa was acting toward him. In the back of his mind, he kept thinking that Pa could sense that some things were hidden and weren't being told. Jasper didn't offer any more information.
Ellen invited Jasper into the house. He greeted Ma and the siblings who were present. Pa soon arrived with a few eggs in a basket. He immediately saw Jasper and exclaimed, "What are you doing here!"
Jasper was fairly blunt in answering, "I came to ask for the hand of your daughter Ellen in marriage." Pa was beside himself with anger and dropped the eggs. Rachel cleaned up the mess from the broken eggs.
Pa went on, "Just what else do you have in mind?"
Ellen stepped in, "Pa, Jasper is a good man. I believe he is right for me. I am in love with him. We plan to be married soon." Pa and Ma appeared upset but that didn't "dampen" the romance in the room. Pa stomped out to the porch to cool off. Ellen soon followed him.
Ellen said, "You and Ma always told me that a marriage should be a happy time that brings two families together. You also said that the time of courtship was more important than the wedding day. You know, I think you were likely right. We have been in courtship now for a few months--plenty long enough for us with our level of love and commitment." It was actually a little less than four months since they met at the Presbyterian Church in Brandon.
"Please, Pa. Jasper is my man." Ellen continued, "We will be getting married very soon. Let's work this out so we are all happy." Pa, beginning to cool a bit, said that this didn't sound good to him and he feared for his daughter. Ellen indicated that she wasn't afraid. And, "Pa, Jasper needs to stay here tonight. Okay?"
Pa said, "No." Ellen indicated that if Jasper couldn't stay there that he would leave and she would go with him. Pa stared off the porch into the fruit orchard for a few moments. Then, he relented and said, "Well, okay; he can stay here tonight, but he must leave first thing in the morning. He sleeps on the pallet in the closet under the stairs, and you in your bed." Ellen thanked Pa and said Jasper would leave early the next day.
Ellen went inside and quietly spoke to Ma about what was happening. She explained that she could not understand the attitude of Pa toward Jasper. Ellen said that she and Jasper loved each other and that they wanted to marry and spend their lives together. Ma listened patiently and then said, "You know your Pa. He wants good for his daughters; he wants the best for each