12. Do not believe that thou hast made any advance in perfection unless thou considerest thyself the worst of all, and desirest that all should be preferred to thee; for it is the mark of those who are great in the eyes of God to be small in their own eyes; and the more glorious they are in the sight of God, the more vile they appear in their own sight.----St. Teresa
One day when St. Anthony was praying, he heard a voice saying, "Anthony, thou hast not reached the perfection of a man named Coriarius, who lives in Alexandria." The Saint went immediately to find him, and inquired about his life. Coriarius answered: "I do not know that I have ever done anything good, and so, when I rise in the morning, I say in my heart that all people in this city will be saved by their good works, and I alone shall be lost for my sins; and I say the same thing in the evening, in all sincerity, before going to rest." "No! no! no!" replied St. Anthony, "thou hast secured Heaven for thyself by thy wise practice; but I have unwisely failed to attain this excellence of thine."
In the Lives of the Fathers, a certain monk is mentioned who, in giving an account of his interior to the Abbot Sisois, said that he kept continually before his mind the thought of God. The Abbot answered: "That is nothing great. The great thing would be that you should see yourself below every creature."
One of the chief men of Alexandria, having been received into a monastery, the Abbot judged from his appearance and other signs that he was a hard man, haughty, and inflated with worldly pride. Wishing to lead him by the safe road of humility, he placed him in the porter's lodge, with instructions to throw himself at the feet of all who passed in or out and to beg them to pray to God for him, because he was a great sinner. He obeyed with exactness, and persevered in this exercise for seven years, acquiring thereby great humility. The Abbot then thought it time to give him the habit and admit him to the society of the other members of the Order. But when he heard of this, he implored and entreated to be left as he was for the short time which, as he said, remained to him of life. His request was granted, and he proved to be a true prophet----for, after ten days he died, in great peace and confidence in regard to his salvation. This is related by St. John Climacus, who says that he had spoken with this man, and when he inquired how he occupied himself in all that time when he was remaining at the gate, he replied: "My constant exercise was to consider myself unworthy to stay in the monastery, and to enjoy the sight and company of the Fathers, or even to raise my eyes to look at them."
We read of the venerable Maria Seraphina di Dio that she seemed to have no eyes except to see and exaggerate her own defects, and to admire the virtues of others. So, when she saw others performing any good action, she would say, with feeling: "How happy they are! All, except me, attend to the services of God!" When she saw any going to the confessors, she thought they would only have to hear and speak of God, while she reproached herself that she went solely to tell her errors and sins. If she ever saw anyone commit a fault, she always found means to excuse or palliate it, and thus she was able, in spite of the sins of others, to retain the opinion which she held of herself as being the worst of all.
13. When one is very remarkable for virtue, and truly great before God, and favored and esteemed by Him, yet with all this remains little and vile in his own eyes----here is that humility so grateful to God and so rare among men, which was found most perfect in the Blessed Virgin, who, on hearing herself chosen to be the Mother of God, acknowledged herself to be a servant and handmaiden.----St. Bernard
St. Mary Magdalen de' Pazzi was an admirable example of this. Though she had arrived at high perfection and sanctity and saw herself enriched by God with extraordinary graces and favors, even to the power of working miracles; yet with all this, she had so low an esteem and so poor an opinion of herself as to astonish those who knew her. Nor was this a matter of pure imagination or of mere words, but true and sincere, and was clearly shown by an ecstasy, in which the Lord showed her the strength and virtue He intended to communicate to her against the fierce temptations she had endured from the devil, and she broke forth with these words: "What confusion for me! that upon the lowest and vilest creature upon earth, as I am, Thou designest to bestow the immensity of the treasures of Thy liberality and mercy!"
It was the same with St. Vincent de Paul. Though his virtues were known to all, in spite of the contrivances that he used to conceal them, yet to him alone they remained unknown; because, by putting his own baseness continually before his eyes, he cut off the view of them; so that, although he was rich and abounding in virtues and celestial gifts, he always esteemed himself poor, needy, and destitute of all spiritual good. Thence came the title that he usually gave himself: "This poor wretch."
When St. Teresa reflected upon the favors she received from God in such great abundance, she humbled herself the more on account of them, saying that the Lord sustained her extreme weakness in this way, and that these supports proved how great was her tendency to fall, as a house is shown to be tottering, by the props set up to hold it.
14. Vain self-complacency and the desire of making a show of being spoken of, of having our conduct praised, and of hearing it said that we succeed well and are doing wonders----this is an evil which makes us forget God, which infects our holiest actions, and is, of all vices, the most injurious to progress in the spiritual life. I do not understand how anyone can believe and hold it as a truth of faith that he who exalts himself shall be abased if he desires to pass for a man of worth, a person of prudence, foresight, and ability.----St. Vincent de Paul
The widely known Franciscan, Brother Justin, entered the Order of St. Francis after refusing great favors and most honorable offices which the King of Hungary offered him. He then advanced so far in religion, that he had frequent ecstasies. One day while dining at the table in the monastery, he was raised in the air and carried over the heads of the Religious, to pray before a picture of the Virgin which was painted high on the wall. On account of this wonder, Pope Eugenius IV sent for him and embraced him, not allowing him to kiss his feet; then, seating him by his side, he had a long conversation with him, and gave him many presents and indulgences. This favor made him vain, and St. John Capestran meeting him on his return, said: "Alas! thou didst go forth an angel, and thou art come back a demon!" In fact, increasing every day in insolence, he killed a monk with a knife. After a term of imprisonment, he escaped into the kingdom of Naples, where he committed many crimes, and finally died in prison.
A holy monk once passed a night in a convent of nuns where there was a boy continually tormented by a devil. Through all that night the child remained undisturbed, and so, in the morning, the monk was requested to take him home to his monastery and keep him until the cure was complete. He did this, and then as nothing more happened to the boy he said to the other monks, with some complacency: "The devil made light of those nuns in tormenting this boy; but since he has come into this monastery of God's servants, he has no longer dared to approach him." No sooner had he said this than the boy, in the presence of them all, began to suffer as he had previously, and the monk bewailed his error. Another monk once boasted, in presence of his abbot St. Pachomius, that he had made two mats in one day, when the Saint reproved him and ordered him to carry the two mats on his shoulders before the other monks and ask the pardon and prayers of all, because he had valued these two mats more than the Kingdom of Heaven. He also commanded him to remain five months in his cell without ever allowing himself to be seen, and to make two mats a day for all that time. From his earliest years, St. Thomas Aquinas was always opposed to receiving praise, and he never uttered a word which might lead to it. Therefore, he never felt any temptation to vanity or self-complacency, as he himself testified to Brother Reginald, saying he rendered thanks to God that he had never been tempted by pride. St. Vincent de Paul made this resolution to close the path against self-complacency: "When I am performing some public action, and may complete it with honor, I will perform it