“Play it again Nobby,” said Steve, looking at the words.
Charles played the song again and when Steve picked up the tune, he sang.
Halfway through Charles stopped playing, much to the relief of Elvin and Wayne. Steve was out of key, sung in the wrong tempo, and his gruff voice made the ballad sound like grating sandpaper.
“Sorry lads,” said Steve, “it’s too slow for me, but I can think of a guitar riff which would go great with this song.”
“What about the vocals?” asked Elvin. “I can’t sing well and Wayne can hardly hear, so we can't do them.”
“How about you, Nobby?” Steve asked.
Charles told them about his vocal chord problem, so didn’t have the voice for classical music or opera. “But I’ll try,” he said and put the sheet with lyrics next to the music on the rack of his piano. He then played and sang ‘Vulnerable.
Charles finished to a stunned silence. The three looked at him, agog.
“That sounded different,” said Steve.
“You sound great Nobby!” Elvin exclaimed, “You may not have the voice for opera, but it was perfect for this ballad. Yer gravelly tenor twang made you sound a cross between Andrea Bocelli and Joe Cocker.”
“Outstanding buddy,” said Wayne.
“Right, let’s get our stuff and see what we can do,” said Steve, smirking at the other residents, who made a hasty retreat as Wayne, Elvin, and Steve went to get their instruments.
They set up next to Charles, plugged in their instruments, and went to stand around the piano.
“Play that song again Nobby,” said Steve.
Charles played and sang Vulnerable again.
Once they’d finished, Charles and Wayne discussed how to incorporate electric guitar, double bass and a drumbeat, and Charles jotted down chords and the beat.
They spent the day rehearsing, adjusting, and tweaking the song and carried on after supper, well into the evening.
Steve, Elvin, and Wayne felt a renewed vigour for music thanks to Charles, who tutored and directed them. Vulnerable took shape over the next few days as the four came together.
Charles and Wayne incorporated all their instruments and melodies that Elvin, Steve, and Wayne sang in the song, and by the end of the fourth day, they performed a decent rendition of Vulnerable.
“That sounded fantastic lads,” said Steve as they finished playing.
“I agree, you have all done excellent,” said Charles and continued, “It is a lovely song, well done Wayne.”
Wayne smiled.
“Shall we go to the boozer and celebrate? It’s only 8 o'clock,” said Elvin smiling.
“Great idea Chippers,” said Steve.
“I agree,” said Wayne, “great idea buddy.”
“I’ll get my hat,” said Charles.
Elvin, Steve, and Wayne packed away their instruments and Charles went to fetch his light summer trilby from his room, before heading to the Pavilion.
Dressed in short sleeve shirts and slacks, the four sat on their regular bench outside and chatted.
“I fink we have a band,” Elvin announced and chuckled.
“We have,” said Charles. “So what are we going to call ourselves?”
They pondered for a moment and Steve announced, “The Four Old Fogey’s from Cleethorpes,” he laughed. “The Fossdyke Old Fogeys.”
“That’s a bit of a mouthful,” said Elvin.
They laughed and Charles suggested, “We are ancient old fossils, so how about, The Fossdyke Fossils?”
Considering Charles's suggestion, Elvin said, “or just, the Fossils?”
They thought about the name.
“Although with the ‘The’ added, it sounded like a throwback to the ’60s,” said Charles, so suggested. “Fossils?”
Steve grinned and said, “I like it.”
The three nodded their agreement and Steve raised his glass. “To Fossils,” he announced.
The four chinked glasses and repeated aloud.
“Fossils!”
Other customers, thinking the old fellow’s ruckus was because they just discovered that someone invented multi-coloured incontinence pants, glared at them and went back to their conversations.
“Right gentlemen, we have Vulnerable almost cracked, so once we perfect that, we could learn more of Wayne's songs,” said Charles.
“I’ve got one,” Steve chuckled and warbled.
“Mary, Mary your fanny’s hairy, your tits are heading south; I’ve something here that tastes of beer, so shove it in your m...”
“That’s enough!” shouted Charles, interrupting.
Steve put his hand over his mouth and realising he'd upset Charles, became embarrassed and apologised. “Sorry Charles, I forgot your wife’s name was Mary. I was only joking,” he said and extended his hand.
Charles shook his hand, smirked, and said. “So, how did you know her fanny was hairy?”
Steve looked into the smiling face of Charles and realised that he wasn’t as stuck-up as he seemed as Charles said. “It was a fine old bush before it turned grey and wispy,” he joked. “One time I could have sworn I saw Doctor Livingstone wandering around lost in there.”
Wayne, Elvin, and Steve looked shocked and then burst out laughing.
The conversation then turned to the old women of Fossdyke and their pubic hair, or the lack thereof. The four laughed and joked all evening.
They went back to Fossdyke and Charles spoke to wispy fanny Mary before drifting off to sleep.
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OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, Fossils rehearsed and played songs from Wayne’s repertoire. The music varied from ballads and soft rock to up-tempo rock ‘n’ roll. Charles and Wayne spent time incorporating or changing notes, lyrics, and melodies, to suit the newly formed band. With Charles’s tenor raspy voice and the other three harmonising, it sounded different from any other music. Their sound was unique.
They practised long hours alone in the recreation room as the old residents scurried out when Steve, Elvin, and Wayne set up their instruments. Mrs Chew was still angry at Lucy Fossdyke's decision to allow them to rehearse again. Fearing that it was still a noisy racket, she kept clear of the recreation room.
The four felt pleased and surprised by how well they came together under Charles’s tuition.
The next song they tried had no lyrics. Although Wayne had written several versions, he wasn’t happy with the results. Charles liked the tune and played the melody several times before a title popped into his head. He and Wayne worked on the lyrics while Elvin and Steve went to the pub.
The following day they rehearsed, ‘Life is Too Short to Be Sad,’ Wayne and Charles wrote lyrics based on Charles’s title. Charles added notes and toned down the tempo. The beguiling song had several parts, needing all four to sing in harmony. It also had a solo tenor crescendo in the chorus. It was a soft rock ballad with thought-provoking lyrics, which the four loved.
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