SARTORIUS You are trifling with me, sir. You say that you did not know your own mind before.
TRENCH I say nothing of the sort. I say that I did not know where your money came from before.
SARTORIUS That is not true, sir. I —
COKANE Gently, my dear sir. Gently, Harry, dear boy. Suaviter in modo: fort —
TRENCH Let him begin, then. What does he mean by attacking me in this fashion?
SARTORIUS Mr Cokane: you will bear me out. I was explicit on the point. I said I was a self-made man; and I am not ashamed of it.
TRENCH You are nothing of the sort. I found out this morning from your man Lickcheese, or whatever his confounded name is that your fortune has been made out of a parcel of unfortunate creatures that have hardly enough to keep body and soul together made by screwing, and bullying, and driving, and all sorts of pettifogging tyranny.
SARTORIUS [outraged] Sir! [They confront one another threateningly.]
COKANE [softly] Rent must be paid, dear boy. It is inevitable, Harry, inevitable.
[Trench turns away petulantly. Sartorius looks after him reflectively for a moment; then resumes his former deliberate and dignified manner, and addresses Trench with studied consideration, but with a perceptible condescension to his youth and folly.]
SARTORIUS I am afraid, Dr Trench, that you are a very young hand at business; and I am sorry I forgot that for a moment or so. May I ask you to suspend your judgment until we have a little quiet discussion of this sentimental notion of yours? if you will excuse me for calling it so. [He takes a chair, and motions Trench to another on his right.]
COKANE Very nicely put, my dear sir. Come, Harry: sit down and listen; and consider the matter calmly and judicially. Dont be headstrong.
TRENCH I have no objection to sit down and listen; but I dont see how that can make black white; and I am tired of being turned on as if I were in the wrong. [He sits down. Cokane sits at his elbow, on his right. They compose themselves for a conference.]
SARTORIUS I assume, to begin with, Dr Trench, that you are not a Socialist, or anything of that sort.
TRENCH Certainly not. I’m a Conservative — at least, if I ever took the trouble to vote, I should vote for the Conservative and against the other fellow.
COKANE True blue, Harry, true blue!
SARTORIUS I am glad to find that so far we are in perfect sympathy. I am, of course, a Conservative; not a narrow or prejudiced one, I hope, nor at all opposed to true progress, but still a sound Conservative. As to Lickcheese, I need say no more about him than that I have dismissed him from my service this morning for a breach of trust; and you will hardly accept his testimony as friendly or disinterested. As to my business, it is simply to provide homes suited to the small means of very poor people, who require roofs to shelter them just like other people. Do you suppose I can keep up those roofs for nothing?
TRENCH Yes: thats all very fine; but the point is, what sort of homes do you give them for their money? People must live somewhere, or else go to jail. Advantage is taken of that to make them pay for houses that are not fit for dogs. Why dont you build proper dwellings, and give fair value for the money you take?
SARTORIUS [pitying his innocence] My young friend: These poor people do not know how to live in proper dwellings: they would wreck them in a week. You doubt me: Try it for yourself. You are welcome to replace all the missing bannisters, handrails, cistern lids and dusthole tops at your own expense; and you will find them missing again in less than three days burnt, sir, every stick of them. I do not blame the poor creatures: They need fires, and often have no other way of getting them. But I really cannot spend pound after pound in repairs for them to pull down, when I can barely get them to pay me four and sixpence a week for a room, which is the recognized fair London rent. No, gentlemen: When people are very poor, you cannot help them, no matter how much you may sympathize with them. It does them more harm than good in the long run. I prefer to save my money in order to provide additional houses for the homeless, and to lay by a little for Blanche. [He looks at them. They are silent: Trench unconvinced, but talked down; Cokane humanely perplexed. Sartorius bends his brows; comes forward in his chair as if gathering himself together for a spring; and addresses himself, with impressive significance, to Trench.] And now, Dr Trench, may I ask what your income is derived from?
TRENCH {defiantly] From interest not from houses. My hands are clean as far as that goes. Interest on a mortgage.
SARTORIUS [forcibly] Yes: a mortgage on my property. When I, to use your own words, screw, and bully, and drive these people to pay what they have freely undertaken to pay me, I cannot touch one penny of the money they give me until I have first paid you your £700 out of it. What Lickcheese did for me, I do for you. He and I are alike intermediaries: you are the principal. It is because of the risks I run through the poverty of my tenants that you exact interest from me at the monstrous and exorbitant rate of seven per cent, forcing me to exact the uttermost farthing in my turn from the tenants. And yet, Dr Trench, you have not hesitated to speak contemptuously of me because I have applied my industry and forethought to the management of our property, and am maintaining it by the same honorable means.
COKANE [greatly relieved] Admirable, my dear sir, excellent! I felt instinctively that Trench was talking unpractical nonsense. Let us drop the subject, my dear boy: you only make an ass of yourself when you meddle in business matters. I told you it was inevitable.
TRENCH {dazed] Do you mean to say that I am just as bad as you are?
COKANE Shame, Harry, shame! Grossly bad taste! Be a gentleman. Apologize.
SARTORIUS Allow me, Mr Cokane. [To Trench] If, when you say you are just as bad as I am, you mean that you are just as powerless to alter the state of society, then you are unfortunately quite right. [Trench does not at once reply. He stares at Sartorius, and then hangs his head and gazes stupidly at the floor, morally beggared, with his clasped knuckles between his knees, a living picture of disillusion. Cokane comes sympathetically to him and puts an encouraging hand on his shoulder].
COKANE [gently] Come, Harry, come! Pull yourself together. You owe a word to Mr Sartorius.
TRENCH [Still stupefed, slowly unlaces his flngers; puts his hands on his knees, and lifts himself upright; pulls his waistcoat straight with a tug; and tries to take his disenchantment philosophically as he turns to Sartorius.] Well, people who live in glass houses have no right to throw stones. But, on my honor, I never knew that my house was a glass one until you pointed it out. I beg your pardon. [He offers his hand.]
SARTORIUS Say no more, Harry: your feelings do you credit: I assure you I feel exactly as you do, myself. Every man who has a heart must wish that a better state of things was practicable. But unhappily it is not.
TRENCH [a little consoled] I suppose not.
COKANE Not a doubt of it, my dear sir: Not a doubt of it. The increase of the population is at the bottom of it all.
SARTORIUS [to Trench] I trust I have convinced you that you need no more object to Blanche sharing my fortune, than I need object to her sharing yours.
TRENCH [with dull wistfulness] It seems so. We’re all in the same swim, it appears. I hope youll excuse my making such a fuss.
SARTORIUS Not another word. In fact, I thank you for refraining from explaining the nature of your scruples to Blanche: I admire that in you, Harry. Perhaps it will be as well to leave her in ignorance.
TRENCH [anxiously] But I must explain now. You saw how angry she was.
SARTORIUS You had better leave that to me. [He looks at his watch, and rings the bell.] Lunch is nearly due: While you are getting ready for it I can see Blanche; and I hope the result will be quite satisfactory to us all. [The parlor maid answers