73 In his Journal of 1876 Dostoyevsky said : " The cure for our intellectual malady lies in our union with the people. I began my Journal of the Writer in order to speak of this remedy as often as possible." Thus my father returned to the propagation of the same idea he had formerly preached in the Vremya, with my uncle Mihail's help.
74 Later on, the Grand Duke Constantine published some charming poems and some dramas under the initials K. R. (Konstantia Romanov).
The Russian girl-students in particular were warm admirers of Dostoyevsky, for he always treated them with respect, and never gave them the kind of Oriental advice which many of our writers lavish on young girls: " What is the good of reading and studying? Marry early, and have as many children as possible." Dostoyevsky never preached celibacy to them; but he told them that they should marry for love, and that meanwhile they ought to study, read, and think, so that later they might be enlightened mothers, capable of giving their children a European education. " I expect much from the Russian woman," he often said in his Journal. He realised that the Slav woman has a stronger character than the Slav man, that she can work harder and bear misfortune more stoically. He hoped that later, when the Russian woman was really emancipated (for so far, though she had pushed open the doors of her harem, she had not emerged from it), she would play a great part in her country. It may be said of Dostoyevsky that he was the first Russian feminist.
The students now renewed their invitation to my father to read his work to them at their literary gatherings. By this time the mortal disease to which he was to succumb had already declared itself. He was suffering from catarrh of the respiratory organs, and reading aloud fatigued him greatly. But he never refused to attend these meetings; be knew what an influence well-chosen Uterature may have on young minds. He liked especially to read them the monologue of Marme-ladov, a poor drunkard, who from the depths into which he has fallen always looks up to God, hoping humbly for pardon. The miserable creature dreams that at the Last Judgment God, after rewarding the good and faithful, will remember him. Himible and contrite, hiding behind others, he waits with downcast eyes for the Lord to say a word of pity to him. AU the religious philosophy of our childlike people is contained in this chapter of Crime and Punishment.
Dostoyevsky soon became a fashionable reader. He read admirably, and could always touch the hearts of his listeners. The pubhc applauded him enthusiastically and recalled him again and again. My father thanked them smilingly, but he had no illusions concerning his audience. " They applaud me but they don't understand me," he said sadly to his collaborators at these literary evenings. He was right. Our intellectuals felt instinctively that he knew the truth, but they were incapable of changing their own mentality. The Russian people had been so strong that they had endured three centuries of tyranny without losing their dignity. Our intellectuals were so weak that they had kept up a semblance of tyranny long after the emancipation of the peasants. Their petty pride forbade them to share the ideas and traditions of the people. Unable to forget that their fathers had lorded it as masters of the serfs, they continued to treat the free peasants as slaves, trying to impose on them the Utopias they found in European literature. Just as my grandfather failed to understand the Russian people, and was killed by them, so our intellectual society lived in space, suspended between Europe and Russia, and was cruelly punished by the revolution.
The favour of the students which Dostoyevsky now enjoyed again brought about an absurd, though not illogical, incident. One day when my mother was out, the maid announced that a lady had called, but had refused to give her name. Dostoyevsky was accustomed to receive unknown visitors, who came to unburden themselves to him, and he told the maid to show the lady in. A figure dressed in black and thickly veiled entered and sat down without uttering a word. My father looked at her in astonishment.
" To what do I owe the honour of this visit? " he asked.
The lady replied by throwing back her veil and gazing at him with a tragic air. My father frowned. He disliked tragedy.
"Will you tell me your name, Madam?" he said drily.
"What! You don't know me?" exclaimed the visitor in the tone of an offended queen.
" No, I do not know you. Why will you not tell me your name?"
" He does not know me! " sighed the lady. My father lost patience.
" What is the meaning of this mystery? " he cried.
" Please tell me the reason of yotir visit. I am very much occupied at present, and have no time to waste."
The unknown rose, pulled down her veil and left the room. Dostoyevsky followed her, much perplexed. She opened the front door, and ran hurriedly down the stairs. My father stood in the anteroom deep in thought. A distant memory began to dawn upon his mind. Where had he seen that tragic air ? Where had he heard that melodramatic voice? " Good Heavens," he said at last, " it was she—^it was Pauline ! "
Just then my mother returned, and Dostoyevsky dolefully described the visit of his former mistress.
" What have I done!" he repeated. " I have offended her mortally. She is so vain. She will never forgive me for not having recognised her. Pauline will know how dear the children must be to me. She is capable of kilHng them. Don't let them go out of the house! "
" But how was it you did not recognise her? " asked my mother. " Is she so much changed? "
" No. Now I think