Tales of St. Austin's. P. G. Wodehouse

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       P. G. Wodehouse

      Tales of St. Austin's

      Published by Good Press, 2019

       [email protected]

      EAN 4057664646835

Table of Contents

       PREFACE

       AD MATREM

       1 — HOW PILLINGSHOT SCORED

       2 — THE ODD TRICK

       3 — L'AFFAIRE UNCLE JOHN

       I

       II

       III

       IV

       PART OF LETTER FROM RICHARD VENABLES, OF ST AUSTIN'S, TO HIS FATHER

       V

       VI

       VII

       VIII

       IX

       X

       4 — HARRISON'S SLIGHT ERROR

       5 — BRADSHAW'S LITTLE STORY

       6 — A SHOCKING AFFAIR

       7 — THE BABE AND THE DRAGON

       8 — THE MANOEUVRES OF CHARTERIS

       9 — HOW PAYNE BUCKED UP

       II

       10 — AUTHOR!

       11 — 'THE TABBY TERROR'

       12 — THE PRIZE POEM

       13 — WORK

       14 — NOTES

       15 — NOW, TALKING ABOUT CRICKET

       16 — THE TOM BROWN QUESTION

PREFACE

       Table of Contents

      Most of these stories originally appeared in The Captain. I am indebted to the Editor of that magazine for allowing me to republish. The rest are from the Public School Magazine. The story entitled 'A Shocking Affair' appears in print for the first time. 'This was one of our failures.'

      P. G. Wodehouse

      DEDICATION

       Table of Contents

AD MATREM

       Table of Contents

1—HOW PILLINGSHOT SCORED

       Table of Contents

      Pillingshot was annoyed. He was disgusted, mortified; no other word for it. He had no objection, of course, to Mr. Mellish saying that his work during the term, and especially his Livy, had been disgraceful. A master has the right to say that sort of thing if he likes. It is one of the perquisites of the position. But when he went on to observe, without a touch of shame, that there would be an examination in the Livy as far as they had gone in it on the following Saturday, Pillingshot felt that he exceeded. It was not playing the game. There were the examinations at the end of term. Those were fair enough. You knew exactly when they were coming, and could make your arrangements accordingly. But to spring an examination on you in the middle of the term out of a blue sky, as it were, was underhand and unsportsmanlike, and would not do at all. Pillingshot wished that he could put his foot down. He would have liked to have stalked up to Mr. Mellish's desk, fixed him with a blazing eye, and remarked, 'Sir, withdraw that remark. Cancel that statement instantly, or—!' or words to that effect.

      What he did say was: 'Oo, si-i-r!!'

      'Yes,' said Mr. Mellish, not troubling to conceal his triumph at Pillingshot's reception of the news, 'there will be a Livy examination next Saturday. And—' (he almost intoned this last observation)—'anybody who does not get fifty per cent, Pillingshot, fifty per cent, will be severely punished. Very severely punished, Pillingshot.'

      After which the lesson had proceeded on its course.

      'Yes, it is rather low, isn't it?' said Pillingshot's friend, Parker, as Pillingshot came to the end of a stirring excursus on the rights of the citizen, with special reference to mid-term Livy examinations. 'That's the worst of Mellish. He always has you somehow.'

      'But what am I to do?' raved Pillingshot.

      'I should advise you to swot it up before Saturday,' said Parker.

      'Oh, don't be an ass,' said