“Who will read the book Samantha after you write it?”
The same question was fillin’ me with agonizin’ apprehension, but I concealed it and answered with almost marble calm,
“I don’t know Josiah, but I am determined to put my shoulder blades to the wheel and write it.”
Josiah didn’t say no more then, but it wore on him—for that night in the ded of night he spoke out in his sleep in a kind of a wild way,
“Who will read the book?”
I hunched him with my elbo’ to wake him up, and he muttered—“I won’t pay out one cent of my money to hire any body to read it.”
I pitied him, for I was afraid it would end in the Night Mair, and I waked him up, and promised him then and there, that I never would ask him to pay out one cent to hire any body to read it. He has perfect confidence in me and he brightened up and haint never said a word sense against the idea, and that is the way this book come to be wrote.
WHAT IS IN THE BOOK.
| MARRIED TO JOSIAH ALLEN. | |
| Livin’ up to one Idee—Love at First Sight—A Marriage of Love—Why did I Love Josiah?—A Becon that has never gone out—Men can’t stand Flattery—My Present feelin’s towards Josiah—Objections to Widowers—Comparin’ Wives—Josiah not encouraged in it—Rule for Domestic Happiness | 17–20 |
| JOSIAH AND THE CHILDREN. | |
| A hard row for Step-Mothers—Thomas Jefferson and Tirzah Ann—Thomas J. on Foreordination—Tirzah Ann’s sentiments—A Hefty Angel—Makin’ excuses at table—How to make Bad Cake taste good—Our Farm on the Canal—Plenty of Garden Sass—4 Tons to the acre | 21–25 |
| AN UNMARRIED FEMALE. | |
| Betsey Bobbet introduced—While there is Life there is Hope of getting married—Betsey’s personal appearance—Betsey’s Opinions and Views of a Woman’s Speah—Betsey writes Poetry—A Specimen of it—Owed to Josiah—Josiah makes a Confession and gets Rebuked—Betsey Bobbet visits me unexpectedly—Gushin’s of a Tendeh Soul—The Editah with Twins—Weddin’ Affinities | 26–37 |
| HAVIN’ MY PICTURE TOOK. | |
| Down to Jonesville—In Mr. Gansey’s Aunty Room—Preparin’ for a Picture—The Editer of the Augur—Daughters of Bachus and Venus—Haunts of the Graces—“Logical Reveries”—A Poem—My Picture Took | 38–45 |
| OUR SURPRISE PARTIES. | |
| My opinions of Surprises—I am persuaded to go—A Surprise Party Surprised—Not wanted just then—An Upset in the snow—A Peaceful Evening at home—Josiah and I enjoying ourselves Doctorin’—Our Happiness interrupted—Surprised by a Party of 50—Fearful excitement of Josiah—The Enemy retire—The Editer surprised—Betsey writes a Poem upon it | 46–57 |
| A DAY OF TROUBLES. | |
| Sugerin’ Time—Woman’s work—Man’s work—The Editer brings his Twins—There first doin’s—The trouble begins—Betsey Bobbet arrives—I think of John Rogers and have Patience—Betsey and the twins—A Soothin’ Poultice—An Argument with Betsey—I Preach and Practice—Betsey asks Advice and gets It—Betsey reads a Poem—She gets more of my Opinions—Return of the Editer—Concludes to stay to Dinner—Sees Betsey and changes his mind—Grand Tableaux by the whole company | 58–68 |
| THE MINISTER’S BEDQUILT. | |
| Thomas J. believes in water for the Baptists—Reasons for goin’ to Quiltin’s—The Baptist Quiltin’ Party—We dispose of all our neighbors not present—Miss Dobbin, a peacemaker—The Minister’s wife discussed—Betsey Bobbet arrives—She labors under great excitement and overwhelms the party with her mysterious words—Astounding disclosures—Thomas J.’s story to Betsey—The story discussed—Handsome Ministers—Wimmen flingin’ stuns—The Minister arrives—The mystery solved | 69–84 |
| A ALLEGORY ON WIMMEN’S RIGHTS. | |
| A Wimmen’s Rights Meetin’—A Wimmen’s Rights man—Idiots, Lunatics and Wimmen—The Woman sheep-stealer—Wimmen have a right to go to Prison and be Hung—Wimmen in Court—The right to go to the Hop and Cistern Poles—An anti Wimmen’s Rights man—Hired Husbands—Marriage and Slavery—True Marriages—Happy Homes and Children—An Angel calling for Fire Wood | 85–98 |
| AN AXIDENT. | |
| Bothered by Hens—A model Pup Dog—A Fall—Very sick a-bed—“That’s what’s the matter”—What makes Angels—Too much of a thing—Josiah being cheerful—I use Strategim—Betsey visits me and brings her Bed-Quilt—Come to spend the day—All the Family comin’—Keepin’ me quiet and Chirkin’ me up—She flies in terror from my wrath—Blasted Hopes | 99–111 |
| THE JONESVILLE SINGIN’ QUIRE. | |
| Worryin’ about Girls and not about Boys—Wimmen’s Charity for Wimmen—The Prodigal Daughter’s return—What is good for a Boy is good for a Girl—A Spy in the Family—Tirzah Ann’s future Marriage—Thomas J. prefers a back seat—He describes the Quire—We go up to the Rehersal—A United Quire—The Entire Orkusstree—A Artistic Duett—Josiah breaks out in Song—Betsey Remonstrates in Verse | 112–126 |
| MISS SHAKESPEARE’S EARRINGS. | |
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Josiah gives up Singin’—Betsey feelin’ lonesome, visits me—She bemoans her lone state—Betsey is willin’ but the men haint—A smile or a supper—Correctin’ a Husband—Woman as a runnin’ vine—The Elder’s Choice—The Carpet Pedler—Bound for a Trade—Bill Shakespeare’s present—An affectin’ story—Betsey makes a purchase—Thomas J. turns poet—Betsey shows her
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