His conscience, Norman by birth, worn by the daily dealings of garrison life, rendered elastic by the examples of pillaging in Africa, illicit commissions, shaky dodges; spurred, too, by the notions of honor current in the army, military bravadoes, patriotic sentiments, the fine-sounding tales current among sub-officers, and the vain glory of the profession of arms, had become a kind of box of tricks in which something of everything was to be found.
But the wish to succeed reigned sovereign in it.
He had, without noticing it, began to dream again as he did every evening. He pictured to himself some splendid love adventure which should bring about all at once the realization of his hopes. He married the daughter of some banker or nobleman met with in the street, and captivated at the first glance.
The shrill whistle of a locomotive which, issuing from the tunnel like a big rabbit bolting out of its hole, and tearing at full speed along the rails towards the machine shed where it was to take its rest, awoke him from his dream.
Then, repossessed by the vague and joyful hope which ever haunted his mind, he wafted a kiss into the night, a kiss of love addressed to the vision of the woman he was awaiting, a kiss of desire addressed to the fortune he coveted. Then he closed his window and began to undress, murmuring:
“I shall feel in a better mood for it tomorrow. My thoughts are not clear tonight. Perhaps, too, I have had just a little too much to drink. One can’t work well under those circumstances.”
He got into bed, blew out his light, and went off to sleep almost immediately.
He awoke early, as one awakes on mornings of hope and trouble, and jumping out of bed, opened his window to drink a cup of fresh air, as he phrased it.
The houses of the Rue de Rome opposite, on the other side of the broad railway cutting, glittering in the rays of the rising sun, seemed to be painted with white light. Afar off on the right a glimpse was caught of the slopes of Argenteuil, the hills of Sannois, and the windmills of Orgemont through a light bluish mist; like a floating and transparent veil cast onto the horizon.
Duroy remained for some minutes gazing at the distant country side, and he murmured: “It would be devilish nice out there a day like this.” Then he bethought himself that he must set to work, and that at once, and also send his concierge’s lad, at a cost of ten sous, to the office to say that he was ill.
He sat down at his table, dipped his pen in the ink, leaned his forehead on his hand, and sought for ideas. All in vain, nothing came.
He was not discouraged, however. He thought, “Bah! I am not accustomed to it. It is a trade to be learned like all other trades. I must have some help the first time. I will go and find Forestier, who will give me a start for my article in ten minutes.”
And he dressed himself.
When he got into the street he came to the conclusion that it was still too early to present himself at the residence of his friend, who must be a late sleeper. He therefore walked slowly along beneath the trees of the outer boulevards. It was not yet nine o’clock when he reached the Parc Monceau, fresh from its morning watering. Sitting down upon a bench he began to dream again. A well-dressed young man was walking up and down at a short distance, awaiting a woman, no doubt. Yes, she appeared, close veiled and quick stepping, and taking his arm, after a brief clasp of the hand, they walked away together.
A riotous need of love broke out in Duroy’s heart, a need of amours at once distinguished and delicate. He rose and resumed his journey, thinking of Forestier. What luck the fellow had!
He reached the door at the moment his friend was coming out of it. “You here at this time of day. What do you want of me?”
Duroy, taken aback at meeting him thus, just as he was starting off, stammered: “You see, you see, I can’t manage to write my article; you know the article Monsieur Walter asked me to write on Algeria. It is not very surprising, considering that I have never written anything. Practice is needed for that, as for everything else. I shall get used to it very quickly, I am sure, but I do not know how to set about beginning. I have plenty of ideas, but I cannot manage to express them.”
He stopped, hesitatingly, and Forestier smiled somewhat slyly, saying: “I know what it is.”
Duroy went on: “Yes, it must happen to everyone at the beginning. Well, I came, I came to ask you for a lift. In ten minutes you can give me a start, you can show me how to shape it. It will be a good lesson in style you will give me, and really without you I do not see how I can get on with it.”
Forestier still smiled, and tapping his old comrade on the arm, said: “Go in and see my wife; she will settle your business quite as well as I could. I have trained her for that kind of work. I, myself, have not time this morning, or I would willingly have done it for you.”
Duroy suddenly abashed, hesitated, feeling afraid.
“But I cannot call on her at this time of the day.”
“Oh, yes; she is up. You will find her in my study arranging some notes for me.”
Duroy refused to go upstairs, saying: “No, I can’t think of such a thing.”
Forestier took him by the shoulders, twisted him round on his heels, and pushing him towards the staircase, said: “Go along, you great donkey, when I tell you to. You are not going to oblige me to go up these flights of stairs again to introduce you and explain the fix you are in.”
Then Duroy made up his mind. “Thanks, then, I will go up,” he said. “I shall tell her that you forced me, positively forced me to come and see her.”
“All right. She won’t scratch your eyes out. Above all, do not forget our appointment for three o’clock.”
“Oh! don’t be afraid about that.”
Forestier hastened off, and Duroy began to ascend the stairs slowly, step by step, thinking over what he should say, and feeling uneasy as to his probable reception.
The man servant, wearing a blue apron, and holding a broom in his hand, opened the door to him.
“Master is not at home,” he said, without waiting to be spoken to.
Duroy persisted.
“Ask Madame Forestier,” said he, “whether she will receive me, and tell her that I have come from her husband, whom I met in the street.”
Then he waited while the man went away, returned, and opening the door on the right, said: “Madame will see you, sir.”
She was seated in an office armchair in a small room, the walls of which were wholly hidden by books carefully ranged on shelves of black wood. The bindings, of various tints, red, yellow, green, violet, and blue, gave some color and liveliness to those monotonous lines of volumes.
She turned round, still smiling. She was wrapped in a white dressing gown, trimmed with lace, and as she held out her hand, displayed her bare arm in its wide sleeve.
“Already?” said she, and then added: “That is not meant for a reproach, but a simple question.”
“Oh, madame, I did not want to come up, but your husband, whom I met at the bottom of the house, obliged me to. I am so confused that I dare not tell you what brings me.”
She pointed to a chair, saying: “Sit down and tell me about it.”
She was twirling a goose-quill between her fingers, and in front of her was a half-written page, interrupted by the young fellow’s arrival. She seemed quite at home at this work table, as much at her ease as if in her drawingroom, engaged on everyday tasks. A faint perfume emanated from her dressing gown, the fresh perfume of a recent toilet. Duroy sought to divine, fancied he could trace, the outline of her plump, youthful figure through the soft material enveloping it.
She went on, as he did not reply: “Well, come tell me what is it.”
He murmured, hesitatingly: