Some women are always exhausted because they spend their vitality on trifles, frittering away energy in a score of ways without any results. When evening comes, they are unable to sit up. They do not know how to shut off the leaks, how to turn off the faucets of nerve force and energy, and night find’s them like a city with every reservoir and water main empty, an easy prey to every draught of air or inciting cause of illness or ill-temper.
How pitiable it is to see such women shriveled and shrunken before they reach thirty-five, and looking old at forty, not because of their hard work or trials, but because of useless fretting and anxiety that have only brought discord into the home, and premature age to themselves.
Much of the worst kind of energy-dissipation is not what is commonly called “immoral.” It is often the result of ignorance, carelessness, or neglect; but it is dissipation, all the same. A great deal of energy is wasted in working without system, and in not getting hold of the right end of a thing at the start. Many of us so completely exhaust our strength in useless worry and anxiety, in anticipating our tasks and in doing our work over and over again mentally before we begin, that we have no force left for the actual work when we come to it. We are like a fire engine letting off all its steam on its way to a fire, and arriving with no power left to throw water on the flames.
Some of us waste our energies and make our lives ineffective by trying to do too many things. Ability to do one thing superbly almost precludes the possibility of doing other things in a way to attract attention. If we focus powerfully upon one thing, energy is withdrawn from everything else. The mind is like a searchlight,—everything is in semi-darkness except the object upon which the light is thrown at the moment. It can not illumine a very large area at one time. We can not concentrate powerfully enough upon more than one thing to reach excellence.
People who are constantly making resolutions with great vigor and determination, but who never put them into execution, do not realize how much precious force they waste in dreaming and wishing. They live in dreamland while they work in mediocrity. Their heads are in the clouds while their feet are on the earth. If these people would only spend the energy thus wasted in actually doing something, they would get somewhere.
Get rid of all vitality-sappers. If you have taken an unfortunate step, retrace it if you can; remedy it as far as it is in your power to do so; but, when you have done your best, let the thing drop forever. Do not drag its skeleton along with you. Never allow what is dead, and should be buried, to keep bobbing up and draining off your life-capital in worry or vain regrets. Do not do anything or touch anything which will lower your vitality. Always ask yourself, “What is there in this thing I am going to do which will add to my life-work, which will increase my power, keep me in a more superb condition, and make me more efficient in the service of humanity?” If you would make your mark in the world, and do your part in advancing civilization, you must cut off everything which is an energy-waster or success-killer.
Everywhere we see young men and young women with great possibilities, crippled in their life-work because they have not vitality and energy enough to push their way and overcome the obstacles in the path to their goal. It is pitiable to see many of them- at work, yawning and stretching all day, sleepy, “dopey,” and unenthusiastic, with nothing fresh or spontaneous about them. They have let their energy escape in a hundred foolish ways, and have none left to put into their work.
An author’s book does not take hold of the reader because the writer has no vigor to put into it. It is commonplace and wishy-washy; it does not arouse interest, because the author was not aroused when he wrote it. A low state of vitality accounts for the lifeless work in every line of his endeavor. Many a clergyman does not get hold of people, and can not fill his church, because he has no reserve of energy. He lacks stamina and physical vitality. He is a weakling mentally because he is a weakling physically.
Many a teacher can not arouse the enthusiasm of his pupils, because he has no enthusiasm himself. His brain and nerves are fagged; his energy reservoir is exhausted; there is no spontaneity in his work; it is enforced drudgery. Many artists, mechanics, and laborers—workers in all ranks,—bring but one per cent, of their energy to their work. The rest is gone in the smoke, heat, and friction of life.
What are you doing with your energy? Are you using it to produce light, or are you losing it in useless ways? Be honest with yourself and find out where it is going. You may be very honest in your dealings with others, but very dishonest in your dealings with yourself. You may be ignorantly or carelessly squandering your life-power.
The best tonic in the world is the exhilaration which comes from the consciousness of personal power, of being masterful in what we undertake, of being able to grapple vigorously with the great life-problems and to seize with the grip of a master precious opportunities when they come; to feel equal to any emergency, however great, and to be larger than any demand upon us. Whoever possesses this tonic will be sure to transmute into achievement not one per cent, merely, but one hundred per cent., of his energy.
Chapter IV.
The Strain To Keep Up Appearances
Disclosures in a recent divorce suit in New York again call attention to the insane rivalry among wealthy Americans to outdo one another in dress and luxurious living. The wife who was suing, in this instance, maintained that a woman in her position required from thirty-five to forty thousand dollars a year for dress alone; and that this was a comparatively small item in the cost of maintaining her household. She stated, on the witness stand, that no society woman could afford to appear twice in the same dress in public or at the same hotel; that if she did, she would be “in very bad form.” She also stated that it was necessary to change her clothing, completely, three times a day, and that many women change, throughout, four times a day.
Another New York woman says that she spends from one hundred to one hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year on her wardrobe; that she has many dresses that cost a thousand dollars each, and that her shoes, the leather for which is imported and dyed to match the dresses with which they are worn, cost fifty dollars a pair.
Some of these society women exhaust so much of their time and energy in catering to their vanity that they have comparatively little left for the things really worth while. Mrs. Grundy has more abject slaves in America than in any other country on the globe. Multitudes of devotees neglect their children, their homes, and their mental improvement, and resort to all sorts of expedients and extravagances to cater to their vanity.
It is not so much the purpose of the author to condemn the rich for their wicked extravagance, as to point out the demoralizing influence of their vicious example upon those who can not afford either luxurious dress or living. Not only much of the discontent and unhappiness, but also a large part of the immorality and crime in this country, is due to the influence of the ostentatious flaunting of wealth in the faces of those who are less favored. It is a powerful undermining force in our civilization.
The mere possession of money does not give one the right to debauch his fellows, or to set an example which will make them discontented, unhappy, and tempt them to strain to keep up an appearance of wealth, at the possible sacrifice of their integrity and virtue.
Some of these wealthy people attempt to justify their extravagance on the ground that it gives employment to a great many. No greater delusion ever crept into a human brain than that wanton extravagance is justified on the ground that it gives employment, for the demoralizing and debauching influence of it all, upon those uselessly employed, infinitely outweighs any possible good it may accomplish.
It is true that many poor women, girls, and children are enabled to eke out a miserable existence by spending years of precious time and energy working upon a piece of lace, embroidery, or a thousand-dollar gown to be worn only once or twice by a rich woman. But is there no