Ricardo E. Facci
Constructing conjugal love
Hogares Nuevos Ediciones
Distributes
Association: “Hogares Nuevos”
Zona Urbana S6106XAE-Aaron Castellanos
(Santa Fe)- Argentina
e-mail: [email protected]
| Facci, Ricardo EnriqueConstructing conjugal love / Ricardo Enrique Facci. - 1a ed. - Aarón Castellanos : Hogares Nuevos Ediciones, 2020.Libro digital, EPUB - (For a new home / 1)Archivo Digital: descarga y onlineTraducción de: James Felhoffer.ISBN 978-987-47565-7-21. Ambiente Familiar. 2. Terapia Familiar. 3. Relaciones Familiares. I. Felhoffer, James, trad. II. Título. CDD 306.8 |
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November 2020
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COLLECTION
“For a new home”
1. Constructing conjugal love
2. Fruitful Hearts
Introduction
Dear friends:
CONSTRUCTING CONJUGAL LOVE arises from the need, expressed by many marriages, marriage partners, and agents of pastoral family groups, to have material available that is simple and fun to reflect on love and married life.
CONSTRUCTING CONJUGAL LOVE wants to be a contribution, as a little grain of sand, to the current marriage, immersed in a society that has trivialized love, fidelity, and sex; a philosophy which penetrates widely through the media of social communication, advertising, pornography and licentiousness of customs.
Marriage and the modern family are obviously fragile. So it is imposed, each time with more energy, providing them with resources to help and ensure its stability. The most ideal and authentic, for this purpose, is a true communication, through which marriage will bring to light its unlimited ability to deliver and to love. BUILDING THE CONJUGAL LOVE has been designed as a service in this area: that of dialogue.
Each of the topics have a similar format. It starts with a base text, followed by reflection - which is not to be read lightly, but rather to expand upon and to discuss. Then to facilitate the task, there are a series of questions in order to guide and direct dialogue. It ends with a prayer about the subject matter, which can also arise spontaneously by the spouses.
Reading and reflection can be at two levels: couple or group. For the first, it is suitable for couple to opt for the most appropriate time for silence and dialogue. In the case of working in groups of couples, it will surely lose dialogue and reflection and a degree of intimacy. But it will be enriching because of the exchange of experiences open to other couples. It is best to work on both levels.
I put this work in the hands of the Holy marriage of Nazareth, Mary and Joseph. Together with their Son, Jesus, may they accompany them permanently in reflection and dialogue on these pages. May they be substantive help in the construction of the conjugal love, that one day, dear married couples, you set out to make, when facing the altar, and express to each other:
Yes to love.
Yes to life.
Yes to be happy together.
Yes to Jesus.
RICARDO ENRIQUE FACCI
I
Our Partner
Conjugal harmony
Conjugal harmony
is built day after day.
The permanent and fundamental work in the life of a marriage is the search for conjugal harmony.
Someone might ask: why Permanent? Is it that we never get to say we are harmonious in our marriage?
The conjugal harmony is the reality of the already and the not yet. Maria and Jose, stating their experience, claimed that they felt a harmonic climate between them and, at the same time, if they did not fight for their permanent conquest, it seemed to escape them as water between the toes. Harmony is built day by day. You are performing it. But there is still some way to go. It is growing, in search of the peak that has not yet been reached.
When conflicts, obstacles and problems exist in a marriage, do not panic. The disharmonies are signs of a normal couple. The couple should really take into consideration a disharmonic situation when thinking maturely cannot overcome conflict, obstacles and problems. Faced with this reality, the married couple goes along smashing and crashing against a series of obstacles which will destroy, little by little, their marriage.
Totally unreal is the situation of a couple who believe they live in full and permanent harmony. This is not normal. What will be happening? Several causes may be present that make the couple live a life of fictional harmony. As an example: when one of the two spouses is very strong-willed and the other very submissive, this tends to create a false harmony, because it is one partner that decides everything without ever having resistance from the other party, since the other circles as a satellite around him.
We are left with the first of the cases, disharmonic walking towards harmony. Harmony and unity is being developed, are building. It is not a gift fallen from heaven the day of the marriage. It is developing. When is the marriage more united? In the early days? Or when it has already travelled together part of the way?
How can you continue walking towards harmony? With what means? Based on the years of marriage that each pair has shared they will have more or less experience the path, will have more or less the resources to grow. These are things coexistence will have shown them. It is important to discuss some of those elements that will help you grow and which will later have opportunity to explore more deeply:
• Dialogue: The most powerful weapon to destroy obstacles. An open dialogue, sincere, complete and loving is the key to the approach, the best tool to build growth as a couple.
• Ability to solve conflicts: Index of normality of a couple is not measured by the absence of conflicts but by the ability to solve them.
• Love: A couple that is permanently concerned with demonstrating in the smallest of gestures day to day knows what is wanted. Theirs is a marriage suitable to solve problems with more capacity, because there is the habit of focusing and concentrating on the other. That, ultimately, is love: make me feel extended toward the other.
• Us: It is important to realize that the problems that must be solved by a couple do not belong to the sphere of the you or the me but by the Us.
• Goals: A couple without goals is a stagnant couple, unable to cope with the obstacles and move forward.
The desire to overcome, search for perfection and happiness… is necessary.
• Prayer: The Us is also the Him. Jesus internalizes problems and gives grace to solve them. He is always fair. Talk of it, converse in prayer. Together all three can accomplish it. Alone surely nothing will be accomplished.
To discuss in couples
1. How have we been exceeding our conflicts?
2. Have we used dialogue to solve our problems?
3.