“You think I am mocking you!” she said, not seeming to notice the accident.
“I am not fool enough to suppose that you care what I think.” he said lamely, losing his self-possession. “I know you won’t give me the lessons. I knew it before.”
“And wherefore then, did you ask me?”
“Because I love you,” he replied, with symptoms of hysterical distress. “I love you.”
“Ah,” said Aurélie severely, “Do you see my husband there looking at you? And do you not know that it is very wicked to say such a thing to me? Remember, Monsieur Charles, you are quite sober now. I shall not excuse you as I did before.”
“I couldn’t help it,” said Charlie, half crestfallen, half desperate, “I know it’s hopeless: I felt it the moment I had said it. But I can’t always act like a man of the world. I wish I had never met you.”
“And why?”’ I Like you very well when you are good. But this is already twice that you forget to be an honest gentleman. Is it not dishonorable thus to envy your friend? If Monsieur Herbert had a fine watch, would you wish to possess it? No, the thought that it was his would impeach — would hinder you to form such a wish. Well, you must look upon me as a watch of his. You must not even think such things as you have just said. I will not be angry with you, Monsieur Sutherland, because you are very young, and you have admirable qualities. But you have done wrong.”
Before he could reply, she moved away and joined her husband at the end of the garden. Charlie, with his mouth hanging open, stared at her for some seconds, and then went into the supper room, where he incommoded Mary and Mrs. Herbert by lounging about, occasionally taking a grape [from the table or pouring out a glass of wine. At last he strolled to the drawingroom, where he was found with a book in his hand, pretending to read, by the others when they came upstairs some time after. He did not speak again until he bade farewell to the elder Mrs. Herbert, who departed under Hoskyn’s escort. Aurélie, before following her example, went to the nursery with Mary, to have a peep at Master Richard Hoskyn, as he lay in his cot.
“He smiles,” said Aurélie. “What a charming infant! The bambino never smiles. He is so triste, like Adrian!” As they turned to leave the room, she added, “Poor Adrian! I think of going to America this year; but he does not know. You will take care of him whilst I am away, will you not?”
Mary, seeing that she was serious, was puzzled how to reply. “As far as I can, I will, certainly,” she said after some hesitation. Then, laughing, she continued, “It is rather an odd commission.”
“Not at all, not at all,” said Aurélie, still serious. “He has great esteem for you, madame — greater than for no matter what person in the world.”
Mary opened her lips to say, “Except you”; but somehow she did not dare, Instead, she remarked that perhaps Adrian would accompany his wife to America. The trip, she suggested, would do him good.
“No, no,” said Aurélie, quickly. “He does not breathe freely in the artists’ room at a concert. He is out of place there. My mother will come with me. Do not speak of it to him yet: I know not whether they will guarantee me a sufficient sum. But even should I not go, I shall still be much away. As I have told you, I leave England for six weeks on the first of next month. You will not suffer Adrian to mope; and you will speak to him of his pictures, about which I am so épouvantably stupid.”
“I will do my best,” said Mary, privately thinking that Aurélie was truly an unaccountable person.
Whilst she was speaking, they reentered the drawing room.
“Now, Adrian. I am ready.”
“Yes,” said Herbert “Good night, Mary.”
“I think I heard you say that Mrs Herbert is going off on a long tour,” said Charlie, coming forward, and speaking boldly, although his face was very red.
“Yes,” said Adrian. “Not a very long tour though, thank goodness.”
Then I shall not see her againmdash;at least not for some time. I have made up my mind to take that post in the Conolly Company’s branch at Leeds; and I shall be off before Mrs Herbert returns from the continent”
“This is a sudden resolution,” said Mary, in some astonishment.
“I hope Mrs. Herbert thinks it a wise one,” said Charlie. “She has often made fun of my attempts at settling myself in the world.”
“Yes,” said Aurélie, “it is very wise, and quite right. Your instinct tells you so. Goodnight and bon voyage, Monsieur Charles.”
“My instinct tells me that it is very foolish and quite wrong,” he said, taking her proffered hand timidly; “but I see nothing else for it under the circumstances. I don’t look forward to enjoying myself. Goodbye.” Mary then went downstairs with her guests; but he turned back into the room, and watched their departure from the window.
THE END
The Irrational Knot
PREFACE TO THE AMERICAN EDITION OF 1905