I saw Drover peek his head out of the machine shed. “Get some sleep, son,” I told him. “Tonight we throw up a double guard, and we could get ourselves into some combat.”
We slept till dark. When the moon came up, we went out on patrol, made several laps around headquarters. Everything was quiet. Off in the distance we heard a few coyotes, but they weren’t anywhere close.
Must have been after midnight when Drover said his feet hurt, he wanted to rest a while. I left him in front of the chickenhouse and told him to sound the alarm if he saw anything unusual. I went on down and checked things at the corral, made the circle around the place, and ended up back at the chickenhouse about half an hour later.
Thought I’d drop in unannounced and check on Drover, make sure he was taking care of business. As I sneaked up, I could see him in the moonlight. His ears were perked. He’d take about two steps and pounce on something with his front paws. Then he’d take two more steps and pounce again.
He wasn’t paying a lick of attention to the chickenhouse. A guy could have driven a truck in there, loaded up all the hens, and been gone before Drover ever got the news.
I walked up behind him. “What are you doing?”
He screeched and headed for the machine shed. I called him back. He came out, looking all around with big eyes. “Is that you, Hank?”
“Uh-huh. What were you doing?”
“Me? Oh nuthin’.”
It was then that I saw the toad frog jump. “Playing with a toad frog? On guard duty? When we got a murderer running around loose?”
He hung his head and went to wagging that stub tail of his. “I got bored, Hank.”
“Sit down, son, me and you need to have a serious talk.” He sat down and I marched back and forth in front of him. “Drover, I’m really disappointed in you. When you came to this ranch, you said you wanted to be a cowdog. I had misgivings at the time. I mean, you didn’t look like a cowdog. But I took you on anyway and tried to teach you the business. Can you imagine how it breaks my heart to come up here and find you playing with a dad-gummed toad frog?”
His head sank lower and lower, and he started to sniffle.
“If you had gone into any other line of work, playing with a frog would be all right, but a cowdog is something special. You might say we’re the elite. We have to be stronger, braver, and tougher than any brand of dog in the world. It’s a special calling, Drover, it ain’t for the common run of mutts.”
He started crying.
“Drover, there’s only one thing that keeps you from being a good cowdog.”
“What is it, Hank?”
“You’re worthless.”
“Oh no,” he squalled, “don’t say it! It hurts too much.”
“But it’s true. I’ve tried to be patient, I’ve tried to teach you, I’ve tried to be a good example.”
“I know.”
“But it hasn’t worked. You’re just as worthless today as you were the first time I saw you.”
“Oh-h-h!”
“You’re just a chickenhearted little mutt, is what you are, and I don’t think you’ll ever make a cowdog.”
“Yes I will, Hank, I just need some time.”
“Nope. Duty’s duty. I got no choice but to let you go.”
He broke down and sobbed. “Oh Hank, I got no place to go, no friends, no family. Nobody wants a chickenhearted mutt. Give me just three more chances.”
“Can’t do it, Drover, sorry.”
“Two more?”
“Nope.”
“One more?”
I paced back and forth. It was one of the most difficult decisions of my career and I didn’t want to rush into it.
“All right, one more chance. But one more dumb stunt and you’re finished, and I mean forever. Now dry your eyes, shape up, pay attention to your business, and concentrate on being unworthless.”
“Okay, Hank.” He started jumping up and down and going around in circles. “You won’t be sorry. No more frogs for me. I’ll guard that chickenhouse and give my life if necessary.”
“That’s the spirit. I’m going to make the rounds again. If you see anything suspicious, give a holler.”
I started off on my rounds and left him sitting in front of the chickenhouse door. I was down at the feed room, checking for coons, when I heard him sound the alarm.
I turned on my incredible speed and went tearing up the hill. I have several speeds, don’t you see: slow, normal, and incredible. I save the last one back for special emergencies. When I turn on the incredible speed, I appear as a streak of color moving across the ground. Anything that gets in my way is knocked aside, often destroyed, and I’m not talking about little stuff either. I mean trees, posts, big rocks, you name it.
As I was streaking up the hill, I met Drover.
“Hank, I seen him, he’s up there, my gosh!”
I had to slow down. “Give me a description.”
“Big, Hank, and I mean BIG, huge, enormous. Black and white, gigantic tail that whishes through the air, long pointed tongue that flicks out at you, and horns growing out of his head.”
“Good grief,” I whispered, “what is it?”
“It’s a monster, Hank, a gen-u-wine monster!”
I stopped to think it over. I’d never tangled with a monster before. “You think I can whip him?”
“I don’t know, Hank. But if anybody can, it’s you.”
“You’re right. Okay, here’s the plan. I’ll go in the first wave, make the first contact. We’ll hold you in reserve. If I holler for help, you come running, get in there with them teeth of yours and bite something. Got that?”
“I got it.”
I took a deep breath. “And Drover, if I don’t come back from this one, you’ll have to go on alone. Take care of the ranch and be brave.”
It was kind of a touching moment, me and Drover standing there in the moonlight just before the big battle. I said good-bye and loped up the hill.
I stopped and peered into the gloom. At first I couldn’t see anything, but then my eyes fell on a huge shadowy thing standing right in front of the chickenhouse door.
Drover hadn’t exaggerated. It was a horned monster, all right, and he was fixing to bust down the door and start killing chickens. I didn’t have a moment to waste. It was now or never, him or me, glory or death. I bared my fangs and attacked.
First contact was made only a matter of seconds after I launched the attack. The monster must have heard me coming, cause he kicked the tar out of me and sent me rolling. I leaped up and charged again but this time I made it through, sank my teeth into him and gave him a ferocious bite. He slung me around, but I hung on.
He was big, all right, big as a house. I figgered he stood, oh, fourteen feet tall at the shoulder, had three eyes, a long forked tongue, and a tail with deadly stingers on the end of it, also horns that glowed in the dark. And tusks. Did I mention that? Big long tusks growing out of the side of his mouth, the kind that could rip a dog to shreds. Green slobber dripped out of his mouth and his eyes were red.
It was a fight to the death. “Come