She had heard some of the missionaries say that she had been an “adorable baby,” and the compliment was one that she had always liked. From an early age, her eyes had been her most remarkable feature. They were slightly almond shaped, dark, and expressive, and while they seemed quite ordinary in some pictures, in others it appeared that her eyes were focused on some invisible point not far from the end of her nose. This idiosyncrasy was not seen in every picture, and she knew that she was not cross-eyed, yet this peculiarity was apparent in some photographs, leading her to conclude that this idiosyncrasy was a fleeting one. Whatever the condition, she knew that she had good vision and no need of glasses.
No one had ever made any unkind remarks about her eyes until Sara had asked, in the company of several girls, if she was cross-eyed. Christine had denied it, of course, but in a teasing manner, Sara and others had sometimes called her cross-eyed, and such words were hurtful. Sara’s remarks may not have been intended to be so hurtful, but comments about her eyes and her remarks that she was “a half-caste who was trying to pass for white” had caused Christine to feel badly and such remarks had caused her to wonder if she would ever fit in anywhere.
As a toddler and a youngster, Christine had shown that she could smile nicely for a camera. She seemed photogenic, and her smile had seemed completely natural. In some pictures she was by herself, but she had also been photographed with Mother, with various visitors and missionaries, and with childhood friends like Rosianna, Carlotta, Beth Nelson, and Sara Rankin. The fact that she was smiling in every group photo suggested that she was a happy child. Perhaps she had had a happy childhood! It was hard to say. It was no one’s fault, of course, that she had no father and no siblings. If she’d at least had a sibling or two, she probably would have been happier and would not have suffered from so much loneliness and boredom.
Sara had been almost like a sister. They had been the best of friends, and the teasing and name-calling that she had dished out at school had seemed like a real betrayal of their friendship. Why had she behaved that way? Christine could not imagine a reason for a friend to act the way that Sara had acted.
There were several pictures that showed Christine and Sara together. One had been taken as they sat together on the veranda swing. That picture had been taken in better times! Since that picture had been taken, Sara had put on quite a lot of weight, and she had changed her hairstyle too. Currently, Sara had taken to pulling her hair back into a tight little bun at the back of her head. Christine had said nothing to Sara about her appearance, but she felt that Sara’s hairstyle seemed too old-fashioned and was very unbecoming for a teenager.
Moreover, the weight that she had gained at school had not helped her appearance! She was certainly not as attractive as she had once been, and Christine knew that she had no boyfriends at school. Was it possible that she felt bad about her appearance and was belittling Christine in an attempt to make herself feel better? Perhaps the problem with Sara was that she had become jealous of Christine. Perhaps the recent problem at St. Mark’s was rooted in jealousy! That seemed quite possible.
In addition to the pictures that had been taken at Tavani, there were a good number of photographs that had been taken on various trips. Several had been taken in LM. There were no pictures that had been taken at the Vasco Da Gama Hotel, but there were pictures of freighters in the harbor and some that showed Christine making elaborate sand castles at the beach. There were some pictures that had been taken in the city’s zoo, but they weren’t nearly as interesting as the ones that had been taken in a game reserve.
They had once visited friends in South Africa who had taken them on an overnight visit to Kruger National Park. One picture showed a bull elephant standing in the road. Christine recalled that she had feared that the elephant might grow angry and charge at their vehicle, but he had just trumpeted his annoyance and tramped off into the brush. There were pictures of zebras, kudus, and gazelles—all of which were interesting to watch. Lions and leopards were interesting, too, whether they were in pursuit of prey, eating their kill, or taking a rest. One picture showed a leopard sleeping on a high limb after he had eaten some of the kill which he had dragged up to the lofty perch. Another very good picture had been taken at a water hole. A number of animals awaited their turn to drink while two giraffes stood at the water’s edge with their front legs spread wide so that they could lower their necks enough to take a drink.
Looking at such pictures brought back memories of some wonderful times that she’d had with her mother.
There were some pictures that had been taken when they had traveled by train to Johannesburg. One picture showed huge earthen dumps where the tailings and refuse from some of the nearby gold mines had been accumulating for years. Another picture was of a beautiful Dutch-style home that they had visited. Mother had gone there for some kind of a meeting, and Christine recalled being in awe of the beautiful home and its elegant furnishings. One picture showed part of the end of the house with its ornate gables and its impressive chimney flues. Another picture had been taken in the family’s nearby rose garden, but the black-and-white photograph didn’t do justice to the gorgeous garden that she remembered.
Though they had done various things in Johannesburg, that residence had remained the most beautiful one that she had ever seen, and she hoped that, someday, she would have a home that was as splendid as that house in Johannesburg.
There were several fairly recent pictures toward the end of the album. Many had been taken at Tavani, and a favorite picture was one that Mother had taken of her while sitting on the veranda swing. It was a good picture of her, and it was one that she had thought Jim might like—if he ever asked her for a picture. No doubt, Mother still had the negatives and could have another picture made—if getting another picture became necessary. There were various pictures that had been taken at the boarding schools in Swaziland, and of course, there was an official school picture for each year that she had been in school. She had worn a school blazer in the school pictures, and she definitely liked some of the pictures better than others.
The most recent one did not please her, for the photo had been taken at a moment when her eyes seemed focused on some invisible point just short of the camera’s lens. She knew that she had good vision and was not cross-eyed, but the focus of her eyes did seem to converge slightly. It was a picture such as this that had fueled some of Sara’s remarks.
Christine hadn’t liked her picture, but Mother had loved it.
Did others at Tavani or at St. Mark’s think she was cross-eyed? Perhaps many people had noticed a difference with her eyes, but only Sara had been bold enough to voice what others might be thinking. She wondered what Jim really thought of her appearance. Did he ever think about her? Or did he never think about her? She didn’t know. She only knew that she thought of him often, and she had allowed herself to indulge in certain fantasies when she had gone to bed for the night. She closed the album and set it aside. The aroma of the baking chicken smelled wonderful, and she was growing anxious for dinner to be served.
Dinner would not occur until Mother returned from her work, and that wasn’t likely to happen for at least another hour. She picked up the second album which contained photographs that had been taken on two separate occasions when she had accompanied her mother on a furlough to the United States. They had made their first trip to America in 1916 when Christine was about four years old. And the second trip had been taken, four years later, in 1920. Not surprisingly, she had looked at these albums more times than she could say. There was much about the two trips which she couldn’t recall, but the photographs helped to keep some memories alive.
On both trips, they had traveled from Lourenço Marques to a port in America called Baltimore, and they had sailed from Baltimore back to LM when they returned home. A great war was occurring in Europe when they made their first round-trip voyage to America. Mother had later acknowledged that she had really had to put her trust in the Lord during those two voyages because German submarines had torpedoed various Allied ships during the war, and she was aware that nearly 1,200 lives had been lost when the Germans sank the British liner, Lusitania. Fortunately, their four transatlantic crossings had gone without incident.
The