Christine’s heart went out to the young lad, for she understood what a lonely life he would be having while he lived at Tavani. In time, he, too, might have to make the long journey to a British boarding school in Swaziland. Christine felt sorry for the lonely boy, and she was grateful that her own days of making the lengthy journey would be ending before long.
Of course, she did not look forward to being separated from her mother. Making the eventual trip away from Africa, one day, was going to be difficult for both of them. But for now, they would live in the present. They enjoyed playing games together, and they visited with each other many times each day. Mother still favored Christine becoming a teacher, a nurse, or a missionary, but again, no definite plans had yet been formulated. The time of being together at home passed quickly, and before long, Christine found herself again bidding her mother farewell as she began another long trip back to St. Mark’s in Swaziland.
After school resumed, Christine talked to Mr. Edwards about getting some tutoring in math, and he said that he would be happy to work with her in the classroom on weekdays after school. She was surprised that he was not expecting a fee for the tutoring he would do. She was not looking forward to putting in extra time with math, but she hoped it would help.
Little did she know that Mr. Edwards was greatly attracted to her, and that he often indulged himself in some fantasies that involved a lovely young gal named Christine Cartwright. She was unaware that, during class time, he had gazed upon her rather lustfully and had thought about her more than she could ever have imagined. Now, she would be meeting with him alone after school!
One day shortly after school had resumed, Christine arrived after school for some tutoring in math. Mr. Edwards greeted her cordially and asked her to be seated. He then went to his desk and appeared to be looking for something. He took a furtive glance at her and saw, once again, how appealing Christine was. She was youthful, attractive, and rather more developed than many of his other students, and he loved her eyes and found that her demure smiles and her innocence were rather provocative. Her loveliness had often aroused him, and he had often entertained lustful thoughts of her when she and the other students were working quietly at their seats during class. Even when he was enjoying a time of intimacy in bed with his wife, his thoughts were often on the young gal who now sat alone with him in an empty classroom. As he rummaged through a drawer, he thought of the intimacies that he would like to have with her. Might she be wanting to do the same thing that he wanted to do? What if she was as eager to be with him as he was desirous of being with her? Was that possible?
“I suppose you have some boyfriends, don’t you, Christine?” he asked, casually, as he continued to look for something in his desk that seemed to elude him.
The question took Christine by surprise, but she acknowledged that she had no boyfriend. She might have acknowledged that she liked Jim Pearson, but she felt this was none of Mr. Edwards’s business.
“Well, you are a most attractive young lady,” he continued. “Even though you have none at the present, I’m sure you shall have many of them in the future.”
Christine received the compliment with a smile, but she said nothing, for she didn’t know what an appropriate response would be.
“You know, Christine, I think you may be the most attractive young lady that has attended St. Mark’s. Your appearance is quite exceptional.”
“Thank you,” she replied, with a demure smile. The compliment was probably well intended, but she was starting to feel uneasy with the conversation centered around her appearance. She wished that the compliment had come from Jim rather than her middle-aged mathematics instructor.
“Ah, here we are,” he said, finally locating the slender telescoping pen which he used as a pointer. “Now, we can begin.”
Mr. Edwards came over to where Christine was sitting and began his instruction with a review. He paged through beginning portions of the textbook and asked a few questions, now and then, to see where he should begin. In time, he came to some examples where Christine seemed uncertain. As she answered his questions or asked for some clarification, she was unaware that he was standing by her in such a way that he could see her cleavage through the open collar of her white blouse. He seemed to respond to her questions, yet he was also imagining what she might look like if she was completely uncovered.
He brushed against her gently and put one hand on her shoulder as he used his other hand to point to the steps of an example that were shown in the textbook.
Christine was feeling uncomfortable by the close proximity of her teacher. She had felt him brush against her in a subtle way, and she could feel his hand on her shoulder. As he continued with an explanation, she felt his hand move down her back somewhat. Was this kind of touching appropriate? Suddenly, she found it hard to concentrate on the subject before them. His hand had moved further down her back, and she wondered what she should do. One of Mr. Edwards’s hands seemed instructive and innocent, but the other hand and his occasional bodily contact seemed cautionary.
Was Mr. Edwards’s subtle contact appropriate? Was she reading something into the subtlety of his touch? She now recalled that, in church, she had often glanced around and found that he seemed to be looking at her. Did he admire her a bit too much? If Jim had been standing this close to her, she would have enjoyed his touch, but Mr. Edwards was a married man in his forties. He was balding, bespectacled, and slightly overweight. This was not a man for whom she felt an attraction, and she turned and glanced directly up into his eyes.
Mr. Edwards loved those eyes. It seemed that the focus of her eyes converged slightly. Was that because he was so close to her. He had hoped that she would look at him with eyes of desire. But her expression seemed to convey a sense of alarm. He had hoped that he might experience with her the kind of things that he had fantasized about, but he knew that that could never be. He dared not give in to his physical desires, or he could lose his job and jeopardize his marriage. The nearness of Christine was ever so tantalizing, but he had to be in control of his emotions. His fantasies might continue, but he needed to be completely professional.
“Now look at this,” he said, redirecting Christine’s and his own attention to the subject at hand.
Christine followed the example and was glad she now better understood the concept before them. She sensed that she had benefited from her first tutoring session, and after several other sessions, she learned a lot and was able to improve her grades dramatically. She found that Mr. Edwards explained things very well, and she was glad that his relationship with her was professional. Mr. Edwards’s attraction for young Christine did not end, but he was able to conduct himself appropriately. He had grown to have real affection for Christine, but he also knew that he could never have a relationship with her. She would soon leave St. Mark’s and disappear from his life, and he would be left with memories of his unrequited love.
Christine’s efforts at self-improvement went slowly, but she could see that her academic situation had improved. She had cut back on her socializing and had increased her studying for each class, and consequently, she was becoming more confident that she might do quite well on her matriculation exams.
She was not satisfied with her social life, however. She had spent very little time with the girls in her dorm, and a closer relationship with Jim had not developed. She had groomed herself in a way that seemed becoming, and she had even cut her hair. Some of the girls had acknowledged that they liked her perky new look, but Jim had not made any comments about her hair, and she had hoped that he might like the difference.
Was Jim just reserved and bashful, or had he heard the rumors that had circulated on campus? Was he keeping his distance from her because he had heard that she was a half-caste? Was it possible that he had heard that she was trying to pass for white? Who knew? She only knew that a relationship with him had not developed. She didn’t think of herself as scheming, but maybe there was something that she could do to improve that situation. She decided that she would give some thought as to how she might get a relationship going before time passed and it would become too late. After all, nothing ventured, nothing gained!
One