LESSON AIM
To teach what true godly friendship entails and looks like.
LIFE AIM
To commit to do what is right even as family loyalties may put one in a difficult position.
BEFORE YOU TEACH
Consider . . .
Focus for College and Career—Younger adults recall times when their parents did not approve of their friends.
Focus for Adult Christian Life—Adults respect their parents and also recognize that adult children have to be individuals in their own right. However, for many the latter is a difficult transition.
Supplementary Study Materials
For further reference, see today’s lesson from Boyd’s Commentary and The New National Baptist Hymnal, 21st Century Edition, #62.
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TEACHING STEPS
First Step: Direct each class member to write down the name of one fictitious best friend. Physically imagine that person. What do they look like? Tall, short, light, dark, same race, different race, Christian, non-Christian, and so on.
Second Step: Invite the group to name traits of a good friend. List the traits on a whiteboard or a sheet of paper.
Third Step: Ask one or two students, “What traits are important in your fictitious friend?” Tell each one to write down the traits of the fictitious friend. As you have one or two people share their lists, call on the group to compare and contrast what traits are important or different. What similarities are there between the lists?
Fourth Step: Inquire of the group, “How important is keeping secrets in friendship? Would you end a friendship because a secret was revealed?”
Fifth Step: As you end the class, enlist someone to pray that each individual in the class will be blessed to be a true friend.
God’s Word in Life
The African-American legendary world champion boxer Muhammad Ali and white prominent sports announcer Howard Cosell were two electric personalities who became unlikely friends. During a time of great racial tensions in the United States, they found ways of respecting, supporting, and loving each other in ways that transcended political, cultural, and economic divisions throughout the country. Their relationship is but one example of how the love of a friend can show the presence of God in one’s life. They did not ask for permission to hold such a bond of love toward each other. The time period in which they lived was more of an obstacle to such friendship than a motivator. If love is to be real, it must be able to be found in strangers, the poor, and even enemies who have been reconciled because of the power of love. The example of Muhammad Ali and Howard Cosell parallels many such friends in the Bible. While young John Mark was dismissed as too naive for the Apostle Paul, Barnabas found him a good companion in his travels. Jesus has nothing in common with the sinful man, but His death on the cross was an expression of His love to those He desires for friendship as well as lordship.
Connect with Learners: What is your definition of true friendship? How can you determine whether or not you are in the presence of a friend?
Introduction
This lesson’s narrative centers on the love between friends. Jason Anderson in his poem “The Power of Friendship” says life’s pain and hardships are better dealt with when one has a friend who goes along with them, a friend whose love is seen by self-sacrifice and loyalty. Love offered by a friend can be a powerful neutralizer to life worries. Sometimes at great risk to themselves, friends have chosen to love each other over the objectives of biological family, help each other when others will not, fight to protect their relationship, and overlook each other’s faults. Jonathan’s love and defense of his friend David is the perfect example. Their positive and long-lasting relationship was rooted in a love that dispelled the cost involved in keeping the friendship. Their love symbolized God’s covenant with Israel and the willingness of God to stick to His promises. This lesson is set within the Deuteronomic history that prominently features the prophet Samuel and his part in installing Israel’s first king (1 Sam. 8:1–22). The failure of Israel’s first king gave God reason to remove him and ordain David as Saul’s successor. Jonathan was an instrument for God’s plan. In this lesson, we will explore the search for such love and justice in the family nucleus and beyond. We may ask ourselves how we and our friends show kindness to each other. How can you model kindness in family and community?
I. What’s in the Heart Bubbles to the Top (1 Samuel 19:1–3)
| KJV | NRSV | |
| • • • 1 Samuel 19:1–3 • • • | • • • 1 Samuel 19:1–3 • • • | |
| AND Saul spake to Jonathan his son, and to all his servants, that they should kill David. | SAUL spoke with his son Jonathan and with all his servants about killing David. But Saul’s son Jonathan took great delight in David. | |
| 2 But Jonathan Saul’s son delighted much in David: and Jonathan told David, saying, Saul my father seeketh to kill thee: now therefore, I pray thee, take heed to thyself until the morning, and abide in a secret place, and hide thyself: | 2 Jonathan told David, “My father Saul is trying to kill you; therefore be on guard tomorrow morning; stay in a secret place and hide yourself. | |
| 3 And I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where thou art, and I will commune with my father of thee; and what I see, that I will tell thee. | 3 I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where you are, and I will speak to my father about you; if I learn anything I will tell you.” | |
#TrueFriendship
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The beginning of chapter 19 may have the reader asking: Did I read that right? Did Saul order his son and servants to kill David? It would not be unusual for any of the kings of Israel’s neighbors of that time to issue an order to neutralize a threat to the kingdom. However, for the first king of Israel to issue such an order indicated just how far he had patterned himself after the kings of the world rather than God. Israel’s outcry for a king was not made from a willingness to follow God. Israel wanted a change from the years of being led by judges and prophets. This was a new generation who looked more to the material success of other nations and admired what they saw in them. Saul, tall and handsome, appealed to their notions of what a king/leader should look like. However, Saul proved to not be a positive example for Israel to follow. King Saul failed to follow God’s protocol. It was customary to allow prophets/priests to guide military leaders in matters of war and peace. Instead, Saul usurped the priestly role by offering sacrifices himself rather than wait on the God-ordained prophet to do so. This angered God so much that He rejected Saul as king and instructed Samuel to anoint David as the future king. Saul could not have known any of this or he never would have invited David into his