I beg you to think about my poor girl, and about what I wrote to you in my last—that some money should be got together to avert destitution, and about the will itself. The other thing also I could have wished that I had done before, but I was afraid of taking any step. The best alternative in a very bad business was a divorce. I should then have behaved something like a man—on the ground either of his proposals for abolition of debts, or his night assaults on houses, or his relations with Metella, or his ill conduct generally: and then I should not have lost the money, and should have shewn myself to possess some manly indignation. I quite remember your letter, but I also remember the circumstance of the time: yet anything would have been better. As it is, indeed, he seems to intend to divorce her: for I am told about the statue of Clodius. 52 To think that a son-in-law of mine, of all people in the world, should do that, or propose the abolition of debts! I am of opinion, therefore, and so are you, that a notice of divorce should be sent by her. He will perhaps claim the third instalment. Consider, therefore, whether the divorce should be allowed to originate with him, or whether we should anticipate him. 53 If I can do so by any means, even by travelling at night, I will try to see you. Meanwhile, pray write to me about these matters, and anything else which it may be my interest to know. Good-bye.
CDXXXVI (F XIV, 10)
TO TERENTIA (AT ROME)
BRUNDISIUM, 9 JULY
I wrote my wishes to Pomponius later than I ought to have done If you will have a talk with him, you will learn what they are. There is no need of being more explicit, seeing that I have written to him. On that business and on all others pray let me have a letter from you. Take good care of your health. Good-bye.
9 July.
CDXXXVII (F XIV, 13)
TO TERENTIA (AT ROME)
BRUNDISIUM, 10 JULY
In reference to what I said to you in my last about divorcing Tullia's husband, I don't know what force he has at his back at such a time as this, or what power of stirring up the populace. If he can be dangerous when roused to anger, do nothing. But yet it is possible that he will take the first step. 54 But you must judge after a review of the whole business, and do what you think least distressing in a most distressing business. Good-bye.
10 July.
CDXXXVIII (A XI, 19)
TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)
BRUNDISIUM, 22 JULY
As I had the opportunity of giving a letter to your servants I would not pass it by, though I have nothing to say. You yourself write to me more rarely than you used, and more briefly: I suppose because you have nothing to say which you suppose that I can read or hear with pleasure. But indeed I would have you write, whatever and of what kind soever it may be. The fact is that there is only one thing capable of exciting a wish in me—the chance of negociation for peace: and of that I have absolutely no hope. But because from time to time you hint faintly at it, you compel me to hope for what hardly admits of a wish.
IPhilotimus is announced for the 13th of August. 55 I have no farther information about him. Please let me have an answer to my previous letter to you. All the time I need is just enough to allow of my taking some precautions—I who never took any. Good-bye.
22 July.
CDXXXIX (A XI, 24)
TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)
BRUNDISIUM, 6 AUGUST
What you said some time ago in a letter to me, and about me to Tullia—with a view of its reaching me also— feel to be true. It adds to my misery, though I thought no addition possible, that, when most flagrantly wronged, I cannot with impunity shew, not only any anger, but even vexation. Let me, therefore, put up with that. But when I have swallowed it, I shall yet have to endure the very things which you warn me to be on my guard against. For the blunder I have committed is such, that, whatever the final settlement and the sentiments of the people may be, its result seems likely to be the same.
IHere I take the pen into my own hands; for what follows must be treated more confidentially. See, I beg you, even now to the will, which was made at the time when she began to be in difficulties. She did not trouble you, for she never asked you even a question, nor me either. But assuming this to be the case, you will be able—as you have now got to the point of speaking about it—to suggest to her to deposit it with some one, whose position is not affected by the result of this war. For my part, I should prefer you to everybody, if she agreed in wishing it. But the fact is, I keep the poor woman in the dark as to this particular fear of mine. 56
IAbout my other suggestion, 57 I know, of course, that nothing can be sold at present: but they might be stowed away and concealed, so as to be out of reach of the impending crash. For as to what you say about my fortune and yours being at Tullia's service—I have no doubt as to yours, but what can there be of mine?
IAgain, about Terentia—I omit innumerable other points—what can go beyond this? You wrote to her to send me a bill of twelve sestertia (about £94), saying that that was the balance of the money. She sent me ten, with a note declaring that to be the balance. When she has deducted such a petty sum from so trifling a total, you can feel pretty sure what she has done in the case of a very large transaction. Philotimus not only does not come himself, but does not inform me even by letter or messenger what he has done. People coming from Ephesus bring word that they saw him there going into court on some private suits of his own, which are themselves perhaps—for so it seems likely—being postponed till the arrival of Caesar. Accordingly, I presume either that he has nothing which he considers that there need be any hurry about conveying to me, or that I am such an object of contempt in my misfortunes, that, even if he has anything, he does not trouble himself about conveying it until he has settled all his own concerns. This annoys me very much, but not so much as I think it ought. For I consider that nothing matters less to me than the nature of any communication from that quarter. I feel sure you understand why I say that. You advise me to accommodate my looks and words to the circumstances of the time. It is difficult to do so, yet I would have put that restraint upon myself, had I thought that it was of any importance to me.
IYou say that you think that the African affair may be patched up. I wish you had told me why you think so: for my part, nothing occurs to my mind to make me think it possible. However, pray write and tell me if there is anything to suggest any consolation: but if, as I am clear, there is nothing of that nature, write and tell me even that fact. I, on my side, will write you word of anything which reaches me first. Good-bye.
6 August.
CDXL (F XIV, 24)
TO TERENTIA (AT ROME)
BRUNDISIUM, 11 AUGUST
If you are well, I am glad. I am well. Neither about Caesar's coming nor of the letter, of which Philotimus is said to be the bearer, have I as yet any certain intelligence. If I do get any such, I will inform you promptly. Be sure you take good care of your health. Good-bye.
11 August.
CDXLI (F XIV, 23)
TO TERENTIA (AT ROME)
BRUNDISIUM, 12 AUGUST
If you are well, I am glad. I am well. At last I have Caesar's letter, and a kind enough one it is. He himself is said to be coming quicker than was thought. When I have made up my mind whether to go to meet him or await him here, I will let you know. I should like you to send letter-carriers