There are things in life that are very difficult to understand, and of course to tell another, nothing at all. If you cannot assimilate it yourself so that someone else believes it, it would be impossible.
— Peter, have you seen him? — I asked immediately.
— The what? — he said, looking surprised.
He was returning from looking for a place to spend the night, and he found me on the floor, with my ankle bleeding there and not only that, but also scared to death, yes, because I was even trembling. He thought that the ankle was to blame, and he asked me a lot of times how he had done it to me, that he had left me there, with the backpacks so that I could move better, but it was inexplicable that I could have fallen if I was resting on the floor.
— I wasn’t sitting! — I said softly —. Well yes, but when I heard that noise, I got up immediately, to try to see where it came from, and what it was.
— But what noise? What are you talking about? Could it be that you have fallen asleep, and have dreamed of something? Or perhaps the sun´s rays were strong and what you have heard is a product of insolation — he was asking me very seriously, staring at me, because he couldn’t explain what had happened to me.
— No, Peter, really! I was wide awake, in fact, I think I was not even sleepy. Yes, it is true that I was tired, but I remember thinking that I should have gone exploring, instead of letting you go. You will be so tired and not for a moment have you shown it, and not like me who has been coming for a while protesting for the little path we are taking, the difficulty of climbing and climbing.
— Come on! What are you saying? We are both tired. What is the difference if you or me try to find a place to spend the night?
— Well yes, but you see, I was thinking about it, so I tell you that I remember very well that I did not sleep, and also, although at first, as you say, I was sitting, then when I heard that, I got up. Tell me, how could I have fallen to the ground if I was sitting down? Impossible!
— Yes, of course, you’re right, but it is so strange for me, that you tell me that you heard something and I, who shouldn’t have been so far away, only a few meters away, haven’t heard anything. Well, let’s leave that and let’s see this ankle that looks very bad. I think we will have to be around here more than we had planned — he was saying to me quite worried, while trying to touch that to see what could be done.
— Well, let’s leave that and let’s see this ankle that looks very bad, I think we will have to be around here more than we had planned - he was saying to me quite worried, while trying to touch that to see what could be done.
— Well, it seems to me that if you have this strength, we should use it to return, we do not know what is ahead, and we do not know how far there is someone who can help us, and if we return at least we are sure of what is there, because we already know it — Peter was saying, very sensibly.
—Tomorrow we’ll see! — I answered almost convinced that the next day all that would have passed me by.
Of all the problems I had in all my life, that was the most problematic, of course there was a tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow and the next, it was like that for a while until my ankle wanted to be useful . The next day when I woke up full of pain, I found that it had swelled enormously, and it was impossible to put my boot on, I think the foot was so large that its size was twice.
How could I even think of moving? But I had to, we couldn’t be there, I wanted to get up, but the pain was stronger than me, and I had no choice but to stay there, lying, sitting and lying again. Several days passed, I do not know how many they were, we both lost track of time.
The scorching sun that was outside, almost kills us, but of course we never know how strong we are, until we subject the body to a test, the one that people call “extreme”, and well, everything that I am now remembering here, sitting quietly, it stayed behind. The ankle stopped hurting and we were finally able to return to civilization, happy to have been able to say it, although we were left with the frustration of not having reached the place we had planned.
Although we have never spoken about it again, I have not forgotten that noise and that great shadow. What would it be?
The mind sometimes plays tricks on us, and makes us believe that we see things that do not exist. I remember Peter once told me:
— There are times when re-remembering past things, lived situations, helps to overcome them.
I think that the fear of that moment I have it so deep inside me, that I see that, despite being here in a safe place, and that the time that has passed has already been long, it has not prevented my entire forehead from being covered in a cold sweat.
Perhaps all of t what was the product of my imagination, so why is it so difficult for me to assimilate it as such? Because there are times when I wake up with the bed wet with sweat that a shadow produces, it is as if I were going into the house. I have never been fearful in my life, but as time goes by I cannot leave behind that feeling of being watched by that.
Determined to clear my head, I got out of bed where I was sitting and went out into the garden. The splendid day has immediately made my mood change. The mallets of flowers with their beauty have reminded me that in life there are many beautiful things that are worth enjoying.
One day I was passing by a flower shop. It was strange, I had never directed my steps in that part of the city, I went into those unknown alleys, and the truth is that I was pleasantly surprised by the beauty I found. I have always liked the open spaces, the great endless meadows, with their blue skies, but now, I don’t know why, I was admiring small streets, with their little houses on both sides, and I liked it. Turning around a corner, there I found a little square, where on one of its sides there was a flower shop.
I have always admired nature, but what we could call wild, the flowers scattered throughout the field, which grow spontaneously, but I had never approached a florist´s. It was the first time and I really liked that mix of colors and smells. The amount of flowers were different, and I could not help myself but I took several of them.
Not in a cut bouquet as that kind lady proposed to me, because, as I answered her offer, she didn’t want something that after a few days it would be spoiled, so she found me some plant pots and I let her be the one to indicate which ones as she understood better than me.
I only asked her not to be delicate plants, or that they needed a lot of care, that they be strong since I would plant them in my garden and there was seasons when I would be absent, and I could not take care of them.
With these indications, she gave me five plant pots, each with a different plant.
I already liked the number, five has always been my lucky number, and I said so to that kind person who was helping me.
— They will be lucky to be with you. I know you will take good care of them — said the young lady, smiling.
Several years have passed since then and my garden is beautiful, those five little plant pots, each one of a kind, which I transplanted following the indications of that kind florist, have become large mallets in his environment, some covering its piece of wall, another spreading on the ground and thus each one has taken something from the garden and in that part it has developed.
Seeing what nature can do when we leave it space and time, I think that is what we should do ourselves with our life, give ourselves time and we will see that we can do what we dreamed, we will also need our space, without interference of anything, or anyone, because it is the environment that sometimes imprisons us so much, that it does not even let us think.
We must be clear about what the environment is. We can be in the middle of an empty beach, but if we are hooked on technology, we will not even see the sea, we have to delimit that environment so that it does not drown us. Yes, it is true that there are needs that we must cover daily, but we must never allow ourselves to be overwhelmed. Who are the others? A television set bombing us at all hours, a phone that never stops ringing, a job with so many overtime that we can´t