He finished what was on his plate and came over to the stove, standing at her elbow. She wished she could ignore him and relax, but he was six foot something of muscled man. She couldn’t pretend he didn’t exist. Not when all of her senses were clamoring like the bells of a five-alarm fire. She gripped the spatula tightly.
“Are there any more of those, Emily?”
She let her breath out slowly, not wanting him to sense her relief. Extra pancakes—was that all he wanted? “Take as many as you like,” she replied. “I can make more for Sam when he gets up.”
He lifted four from the warming tray and Emily swallowed against the lump that had formed in her throat. My, he did have a good appetite. Was there nothing about the man that wasn’t big and virile? On the back of the thought came the unwanted but automatic comparison to Rob. Rob in his suits and Italian loafers and his fancy car. Rob going out the door with a travel mug and a briefcase in the morning. When those things had disappeared so abruptly from her life it had broken her heart. She’d built her whole life around their little family, loving every moment of caring for their house and watching Sam grow. She’d lost the life she’d always dreamed of and it still hurt.
But it was time to start dreaming about something new. Emily lifted her head and caught a glimpse of the wide fields out the kitchen window. The golden fields were Luke’s office. His jeans and boots and, oh, yes, the T-shirts that displayed his muscled arms were his work clothes. The prairie wind was his air conditioning and the sun his office lighting.
She smiled, knowing that the wide-open space was something she’d been missing for a long time. The memories would always be there, but they hurt less now. As she looked out over the sunny fields, she knew that leaving the city had been the right thing to do. She was moving forward with her life, and it felt good.
“What are you smiling at?” Luke asked the question from the table, but he’d put down his fork and was giving her his full attention. And the pancake batter was gone, leaving her with nothing to do to keep her hands busy. Six pancakes remained; certainly enough for her breakfast with Sam. She put down the bowl and brushed her hands on the apron she’d found in the drawer.
“I was just thinking how nice it must be to go to work in the outdoors,” she replied, picking up her cooling coffee. Anything to let her hide just a little bit from Luke’s penetrating gaze.
“Not so nice on rainy days, but yeah … I think I’d go crazy locked up inside all day. You strike me as the inside kind.”
“What makes you say that?”
He looked down at his tanned arms and then at her pale, white limbs. Then up at her face while a small smile played with his lips.
“Okay, you’re right. Sam and I made it to the park but our backyard …” She sighed. “It was very small. Sam had a little slide there, a kid-sized picnic table. That was about it.”
“Boys need room to run around.”
She poured herself more coffee. “Yes, I know. Suburbia wasn’t always part of the plan. I did grow up with more than a postage stamp for a yard, you know. In Regina.”
“You’re from Regina?”
“Just outside, yes. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and my dad sold cars.” Telling Luke took her back to her college days when she’d been slightly ashamed of her modest home and she realized now that Rob had never quite fit in there. Perhaps this split had always been coming, and was not as random as she thought. She’d been trying to be someone she wasn’t. Maybe he had, too. Now, despite the fact that she knew there would be a certain bit of “I told you so”, home didn’t seem so bad. She’d been afraid of being judged, but she knew that wasn’t really why she didn’t want to go back. She didn’t want to go back a failure. She wanted to go back when she could look her parents in the eye and say that she’d fixed it. The way they’d always seemed to fix things. If money was tight or jobs were lost, they still always seemed to manage. And they’d stayed together. Not because they had to, but because they loved each other. Emily found it so hard to live up to that kind of example.
However, she could say none of this to Luke. What would he think of her if he knew? The last thing she wanted was to lay out a list of her faults and failings.
“And what took you to Calgary?”
She simply lifted an eyebrow.
“Ah,” he chuckled, understanding. “Sam’s father?”
She nodded, finally taking a seat at the table and curling her hands around the mug. The sun was up over the knoll now and gleaming brightly in the kitchen. This was where the questions would end. She had no desire to tell Luke the sordid details of the split. There would be no more breakfasts for two. She was here to work. It was glorious just to be able to make her own decisions now. She just kept telling herself that. Her parents didn’t know she’d had to give up her house or that she hadn’t received any child support. She’d been too proud to tell them. She’d been certain she’d turn things around before they got to this point. And she would. She just needed a little more time and a solid plan.
“And you?” To keep him from prying further into her personal life, she turned the tables. “You’ve been here your whole life, I suppose.”
“Of course.”
“The girls didn’t care to be farmers?”
He looked at her over the rim of his mug, his blue gaze measuring. Luke Evans was no pushover, Emily realized. He saw right through her intentions. It should have put her off, but it didn’t. Everything about Luke was intelligent, decisive. It was crazily sexy.
“The ‘girls', as you say, got married and started their own families. Joe manages a farm-equipment dealership—he’s the proud daddy this morning. Liz’s husband is a schoolteacher. They both know their way around a barn, but that’s not their life now.”
“So you handle this alone?” She put the mug down on the table.
“I have some hired help.” His lips made a thin line and his gaze slid from hers. Subject closed.
But she pressed on. “Then what about the Evans and Son on the sign? What about your dad and mom? How long have they been gone?”
He pushed out his chair and put his mug on top of his plate, taking the stack to the cupboard next to the sink. “I’ve got to get going. I have to get the boys started on their own this morning so I can run into town.”
Emily knew she had gone too far. Something about his parents pushed a button. She had sensed it when she’d seen their picture, when he’d looked into their empty bedroom and again just now when she’d asked about them.
“About town … you really are short of groceries. Could we go with you? We won’t take extra time. We can shop while you run your errands.”
He reached for his hat and plunked it on his head. To Emily, it seemed like armor to hide behind. And it added inches to his height.
Maybe some people didn’t appreciate a closet full of fresh-smelling clothes, shining floors and a good meal, but she’d bet Luke would. She’d bet anything that he’d grown up exactly that way. His sisters had moved on, apparently to fulfilling, happy lives. Why hadn’t Luke? Not that the farm wasn’t successful. But it felt like a piece of the puzzle was missing.
“I can’t expect you to cook without food, I suppose,” he replied. “Be ready about nine, then. I need to get back as soon as I can.”
“Yes, boss,” she replied, putting his dishes in the sink to wash up.
It was all back to the status quo until he reached the screen door and then she heard his voice call quietly.
“Emily?”