Useless questions, as only Jadon could provide the answers.
She glanced at Kim. “I assume he knows about the babies?”
Kim nodded. “You told me he was the father. Is that true?”
She momentarily closed her eyes, wishing things had been different. For her and for Jadon. Resigned, she nodded. “Yes, it’s true.”
“He was extremely upset when you were brought in,” Kim said gently. “He was literally glued to your side during the rewarming process as we struggled to get your core temperatures up to normal. He was also very shocked to learn you were pregnant.”
“Yeah, well, all he had to do was answer my messages and he would have known about my pregnancy a lot sooner.” She couldn’t hide the note of bitterness that crept into her tone.
“I know you’re upset, but it might be good to at least hear his side of the story,” Kim pointed out.
His side of the story? There was a part of her that didn’t really want to know. She and Jadon hadn’t spoken much about their pasts. The last thing she wanted to hear was about some wife, or ex-wife, or ex-girlfriend. While he’d been gone it had been all too easy to think the worst. And it was very hard to believe Jadon had been glued to her side in the ED, especially when he’d left four and a half months ago without a word.
No, she couldn’t do it. She wasn’t ready to face him. Wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready.
Besides, what difference would it make to talk to him? She and Jadon didn’t have a future. Things had changed during the time he’d been gone. She’d grown accustomed to being without him. Had already planned on raising her babies alone. She didn’t need a man to be happy; she was more than content to focus her life on her children.
She wasn’t the same person who’d loved recklessly and lost so painfully. She’d gone into an intimate relationship with Jadon, thinking she could keep things light and fun. He was handsome and charismatic, reminding her very much of her father. And he’d told her up front that he wasn’t interested in anything long term either. Another factor that had reminded her of her father.
Which was exactly why she’d suspected Jadon wasn’t ever coming back.
So why was he here now? Maybe he needed to see her first, before he walked away one last time. Surely discovering the news about the twins would scare him away. Did he know they were his? Or would she have to convince him through blood tests? If so, she wouldn’t bother. If he didn’t want to acknowledge them as his, it was fine with her.
“I’ll see him later,” she said, avoiding the inevitable but unable to help herself. “Are you going to discharge me soon?”
Kim hesitated and slowly shook her head. “I can’t discharge you yet, Alyssa. I’ve had you on a continuous infusion of low-dose terbutaline to help stop your premature contractions. Once I wean you off the medication, we’ll see how you do. I may be able to discharge you within the next twenty-four hours, but I’d like you to stay on bed rest for a few days.”
Bed rest? Alyssa tried to hide her dismay. “I understand you’re trying to prevent premature labor, but I can’t work if I’m on bed rest.”
“I know.” Kim’s warm gaze focused on hers. “I realize you need to support yourself, but the health of your unborn babies must be the highest priority.”
Of course it was. Chagrined, she nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll stay on bed rest as long as you tell me I need to.”
“Well, let’s plan on a couple of days at least,” Kim clarified. “Then we’ll see how it goes. You are fairly far along in your pregnancy, but every week you carry the babies, the better their chances of survival without complications.”
Alyssa knew her doctor was right. She’d make ends meet, somehow. “Okay, so when are you going to start weaning me off the medication?” she asked.
“Right now,” Kim said with a smile. “Marla? Start lowering the drip rate, a few milliliters per hour, while monitoring for contractions.”
“Okay.” Marla made her way to make the first adjustments on the IV pump.
“Dr. Rayborn?” Alyssa called when Kim moved as if to leave.
“Yes?” She turned back toward Alyssa.
“If Jadon shows up this morning, I’ll see him.”
Kim raised a brow. “Are you sure? I don’t blame you for needing some time.”
There wasn’t enough time left in all creation for her to be ready to face Jadon, and that was the God’s honest truth. So she’d be better off facing him now, since she fully expected he wouldn’t be sticking around much longer. He was reminding her more and more of her father, who certainly hadn’t stuck around for very long. Some men just weren’t meant for long-term relationships.
Once he understood she wouldn’t force him into playing the role of loving father to her unborn twins, she suspected he’d do his all-too-familiar disappearing act once again.
“I’m sure.”
“Jadon?”
At the sound of his name, he glanced up to find Kim standing in the entryway of the waiting room. He flashed a crooked smile. “Hi.”
She raised a brow and shook her head, raking a gaze over his rumpled clothes. “Don’t tell me you slept here all night?”
“Okay, I won’t tell you.” He stood and stretched, trying to work the kinks out of his back. “What’s up?”
“Alyssa is being weaned off the terbutaline, and so far the contractions haven’t returned. She’ll be in the labor and delivery area for a while yet, but she’s ready to see you.”
She was? Alyssa was willing to see him?
He’d waited so long he’d assumed she’d decided against it.
“She knows I’m here?” he asked, suddenly extremely nervous about seeing her.
Kim nodded. “Yes, although I didn’t tell her you slept here all night. But she did confirm you’re the father of her babies, although if you need a formal paternity test, that can certainly be arranged.”
“No. No tests. Unless Alyssa wants one.” He almost blurted out the truth, about how now that he thought about it, he knew exactly when they’d conceived. The one time he and Alyssa had gotten carried away and hadn’t used protection.
But this wasn’t the time, or the place, or the appropriate person with which to have this conversation. He needed to talk to Alyssa first.
No matter how difficult.
“She’s in Labor and Delivery room number five.” Kim smiled again. “Take your time. I have patients to see in clinic this morning so I won’t be back until later this afternoon, unless something changes.”
He nodded, feeling nervous. He made his way back down the hall of the labor and delivery suites. The door to Alyssa’s room was closed. He knocked, and then, when he couldn’t hear anything, opened the door. “Alyssa? May I come in?”
“Yes.” Her voice was weak, and he hesitated, wondering if his timing was bad. Maybe he should wait until she was fully recovered from her hypothermia episode.
Don’t be a coward, he told himself, pushing the door open and entering her room.
Her face was pale, framed by a cloud of her dark, curly hair spread out over the pillow. She looked better than she had when the paramedic unit had brought her icy-cold, limp body through the trauma room doors.
He’d never been so scared.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, tentatively coming closer.