There was a steel-wire tenseness about him that betrayed itself in the grim lines that bracketed his mouth. His face was leaner somehow, his cheekbones harder looking. He drove with the same casual competence he’d always had, but on closer inspection she could see that the knuckles of the hand wrapped carelessly around the steering wheel were held tightly enough that they were whiter than the rest of his skin.
At first glance he still gave the impression of a big, lazily sexy man with not much more on his mind than the nearest attractive female. He gave that impression because he wanted to give that impression, she thought slowly. Had it always been a facade? Had it been a facade even when she’d known him a year ago?
“Sully? The man was a maniac—always volunteering for suicide missions, always with that incredibly charming but quite mad grin on his face. It got worse after the Salazar woman was killed.”
The gray-haired British officer’s words came back to her, and so did the feeling of frustration she’d felt when the man had refused to elaborate any further on what he’d told her. The name of Maria Salazar had had that effect on others who had known Sullivan, too. One of his closest friends, a pale-eyed, grimly silent mercenary named Quinn McGuire, had simply gotten up from the table and walked away when she’d asked him what he knew about the woman.
But right now wasn’t the time to go into the subject of Maria Salazar. She cleared her throat awkwardly.
“You run a different kind of operation than Triple-A. With the dozens of case files that Sullivan Investigations must be working on at any given time, it’s not possible for you to be familiar with each one personally. I was out of line saying that.”
“Yeah, but that’s what I liked about you, honey.” Like magic, the grim look had disappeared from his face. One corner of his mouth lifted wryly as he briefly switched his attention from the traffic to her. “You were always out of line. I’ve missed that.”
He didn’t know it, but he couldn’t have said anything more calculated to wipe out the fragile détente she’d been about to embark on. Bailey stiffened.
“If you missed anything at all about me, it was nobody’s fault but your own. You had me. You got bored. End of story.” Her tone was barbed. “But since you like it when I cross the line, I’ll oblige. Tell me, Sullivan, why did you have to destroy me? When you were talking on the phone to your newest plaything that morning, you knew I was right behind you and hearing every word you were saying, didn’t you?”
“I knew.” His admission took her aback for a moment, but his next words floored her. “I planned it that way.” He shrugged. “You had a concept of me that wasn’t real. A clean break seemed best.”
His words were completely uninflected. Unhurriedly he swung the Jaguar down a smaller side street lined with older, slightly dilapidated homes, as Bailey scrambled to cope with his unwelcome revelation.
She’d lied to herself, she thought. She’d never gotten over him—not totally. It had taken this latest admission of his to open her eyes, but this time she wanted to be absolutely sure she understood him.
“You say my concept of you wasn’t real. What do you mean?” she asked carefully.
“You were beginning to think of me as someone you could build a future with.” He could have been talking about the weather, there was so little emotion in his voice. “Your faith in me was all wrong, but you couldn’t seem to see that. I did you a favor, Bailey. I let you see what kind of man I really was before it was too late.”
“Your timing could have been a little better,” she said, still not looking at him. There was a far-off roaring in her ears that made it hard for her to hear her own voice. It was as if she were holding a conch shell and listening to imaginary waves crashing against an imaginary shore, she thought foolishly—as if she was standing in the middle of a desert, longing for a sea that didn’t exist.
“My timing could have been a lot better,” Sullivan said harshly. Pulling in to the curb in front of a small bungalow, he switched off the ignition and turned to her. “I never should have gotten involved with you at all.”
“So why did you?” she rasped, amazed to find that her voice still worked in any fashion at all. “If going out with me in the first place was such a big mistake on your part, why did you?”
His eyes darkened as he looked at her. “For God’s sake, do you think I had any choice?” he said tightly. “You came into my life. I took one look at you and I was lost. I didn’t care if it was the smart thing to do, the responsible thing to do, or the right thing to do—I wanted you. Even knowing that I was going to have to make you walk away in a day or two didn’t matter, honey.” He rubbed the heel of his hand against his mouth in frustration. “You don’t get it, do you?”
“What’s there to get, for God’s sake?” Her eyes, wide and uncomprehending, were fixed on his. “You haven’t told me anything yet! I’m a pretty simple girl, Sullivan, so why don’t you give it to me in words of one syllable, so I can finally grasp it and get on with my life?”
Her voice had risen, and in the close confines of the Jaguar’s interior they sounded shockingly loud. He looked away.
“Hell, I’ve said too much already. I’m a bastard, honey, and you’re better off without me. There’s your simple answer, so let’s just leave it at that.” He reached for the door. “Come on, let’s see if Jackson’s here and get some answers from him.”
Without waiting to see if she was following him, in one swiftly fluid movement he got out of the car and started up the cracked walk to the bungalow.
Bailey didn’t move. She’d told him she’d come to get some answers about her sister’s whereabouts, and that was true. But if she was honest with herself, after they found out where Angelica was, there was still another mystery she needed to find some answers to, another woman she wanted to ask him about.
Maria Salazar was dead. If she existed at all, it was as a ghost. There was no reason why she should still have any power over Sullivan.
But she did, Bailey thought fearfully. She didn’t know why she was so certain about that, but she was. Maria Salazar had taken Sullivan away from her, and she was going to find out why.
She looked up. His hands in his pockets, he was waiting at the bungalow’s front door, and with sudden resolve she got out of the car. Her determination wavered for a moment, but then she set her shoulders and started up the concrete walk. Even as she did, she saw him slip something out of his pocket.
He was breaking in, she thought in faint shock. She quickened her pace and reached him just as the door swung open.
“What are you doing?” she hissed, nervousness overlaying the jumble of conflicting emotions she’d just been experiencing. “That’s breaking and entering, Sullivan—we could both lose our licenses!”
“This was stuck in the mail slot.”
His voice was curt. He handed her a business card and she took it from him reluctantly. It bore the name of an S. Wilkes, who was apparently a regional sales director for some unknown company, and a phone number. Flipping it over impatiently, she saw a scrawled message.
“Hank—missed you at the last two meetings. Call me.”
“Wilkes is a friend from AA,” Sullivan said. “Hank’s mentioned him once or twice.” He frowned. “Those meetings are his lifeline, Bailey. He doesn’t miss them. There’s something wrong here.”
She met his eyes. “I agree, but it’s pretty obvious what it is,” she said, trying not to sound brusque. “He’s fallen off the wagon, Sullivan. Your boy Jackson’s probably out on a bender.”
He turned from her abruptly, his expression unreadable. “I don’t believe that. I’m going in.”
Before she could say another word, he stepped across the threshold, and without