He seemed to be stalling for some reason, and Liadan’s stomach turned an anxious cartwheel.
‘I can’t stay here working for you and continue having an—an intimate relationship. You must see that.’ Her curling red-gold lashes downcast, she studied her hands intently, torn between running out of the house as fast as her legs could carry her, or throwing herself into his arms and confessing that she loved him. A course of action that would be clearly disastrous in the face of his indecision about their relationship.
‘Yes, you can.’
‘How?’
Glancing up, her heartbeat rapidly increased at the determination on Adrian’s impossibly attractive face. The pulse in one perfectly sculpted cheek throbbed momentarily before he spoke.
‘You can marry me,’ he said without emotion.
‘Marry you?’ Liadan was glad the piano stool was situated just behind her. Her trembling limbs dictated she sat on it whether she wanted to or not. ‘But you don’t love me.’ You love a ghost…she finished in her mind.
He looked astonished, as though her assertion was entirely irrelevant. His next comment drove it home.
‘We have other equally powerful inducements, don’t we?’ A knowing smile kicked up the corners of his usually stern mouth. ‘You can’t deny that we’re good together and your company is more pleasing to me than most women I know. You don’t talk my ears off and you have a quiet way about you that I find soothing.’ Liar. She was in his blood and what he felt for her right now was anything but soothing…more like a raging fever. Damn it all to hell! Why can’t you just be honest with the woman? he demanded silently of himself. Tell her how you feel!
But how could he be honest when fear of failure was demanding he stay silent on that score? One way or another, eventually he was bound to make a mess of things. Hadn’t he done so with both Nicole and Petra? Only one thing was certain. If he didn’t act soon to the contrary he would possibly wreck the only chance at happiness that had come his way in a long, long time and it would be entirely his own stupid fault.
A small, disappointed shiver ran down Liadan’s spine at Adrian’s statement and she twisted her hands together in the lap of her jade-coloured skirt as if she didn’t quite know what to do with them. ‘My company is pleasing?’ Was that all he could find to say about her? What was it about her that men couldn’t commit to her as they could to other women? she reflected despondently. First Michael’s judgemental rejection both of her body and her person and now this—this lukewarm litany of some of her supposedly more attractive attributes that was supposed to add up to a proposal of marriage. ‘You must be desperate for a housekeeper if you’re prepared to marry me in order to keep me in your employment,’ she said in a detached voice, barely able to bring herself to look at him.
His hard jaw clenched, Adrian couldn’t disguise his annoyance. ‘What are you talking about? If I married you I would look to employ someone else as my housekeeper, naturally. You would be my companion…my wife.’ If a possessive tone had crept in at his use of that last word, Adrian deliberately ignored it. Instead, he latched onto the realisation that it was probably the best idea he’d had in ages, under the circumstances. Liadan was a kind, beautiful girl whose loving nature had stolen a march on him when he hadn’t been looking. Plus the sexual chemistry between them was combustible. He’d got used to her being around and the thought of her not being around was—unthinkable. If they married, he would provide her with financial stability for life and neither of them would have to be alone any more. Perfect. Only, when Adrian gazed into Liadan’s troubled blue eyes, it didn’t seem at all as if she agreed with him.
‘I appreciate the thought but…no, thanks.’ Getting to her feet, she pushed away a wayward curl and picked up the discarded yellow duster from the top of the piano. ‘I have to be getting on. I have plenty of work to do.’ If her voice was flat, she couldn’t help it. Inside Liadan was crushed. His cold proposal of marriage had done nothing for her self-esteem. In fact, right now she hated herself because she couldn’t understand why the man she loved couldn’t seem to return her affection on any level except a sexual one.
‘Liadan?’ A frown between his perfect black brows, Adrian caught her arm as she passed him, to waylay her. ‘I’ve obviously offended you. Tell me! I want to know.’
‘Offended me? Whatever gave you that idea? I mean, why on earth should I be offended by such a cold, unfeeling suggestion as to marry you and be your little “companion”? Your editor is right, Adrian. You really do need to get out more. You’re so caught up in your dark, depressing stories that you’ve forgotten how to relate to people emotionally. I may not have much money, and I may not have another job to go to if I should leave here, but at least I have a heart full of love rather than no heart at all. At least I’m not scared to express my feelings! Now, if you don’t mind…’ she wrenched her arm free and swept towards the door ‘…I have work to do.’
‘Liadan!’
‘What?’ Turning at the door, she willed her feet to stay still even though she’d like nothing better right now than to escape to her room—lock herself in and cry her heart out. He might be an expert on running away from life’s problems, but she wasn’t. She would face whatever she had to face and afterwards she wouldn’t have any cause to feel ashamed.
‘I don’t want you to go, so please don’t talk of leaving. If my offer of marriage was less appealing than you’d like, then please forgive me. I may be a writer but I don’t always necessarily choose the right words to express my feelings.’
‘So you do have feelings, then?’ Liadan was unable to bite back her sarcasm, then saw Adrian flinch, as if her words had contained a poisonous tip that had deeply wounded him. Inwardly, she cringed. She didn’t want to hurt him any more than he’d been hurt already. So he might not be the most emotionally expressive man on the planet, but he still had a good heart. Liadan was convinced of that…despite what she’d said about him having no heart at all.
Clearly wrestling with those very feelings, Adrian unconsciously circled his chest with his hand as if trying to contain them. ‘Come to the opera with me tonight…please. Let’s at least enjoy a pleasant evening together and forget about everything else for a while. What do you say?’
Music was one of his greatest passions, Kate had told her that first afternoon when they’d met. And the chance to see La Bohème was not to be missed. Even if Liadan was in turmoil about his less-than-loving proposal of marriage.
‘All right, then. I’ll come.’ Her lip quivered a little as she tucked some hair behind her ear. The decision to go to the opera was easy. The marriage offer, on the other hand, was far more problematic to contemplate. Adrian didn’t love her, that much was obvious, and marrying him ultimately would only bring her down. Just being with him would solve one great need she had, but living with him and not having his love would surely destroy her utterly in the end.
Recoiling from the immense wall of pain that she emotionally slammed into, Liadan knew the decision she had to make. Buying a little time at the opera would be no bad thing, she told herself—because it would probably be the last evening they ultimately shared together in such an intimate way.
More relieved than he could say with her agreement, Adrian felt the tension in his muscles thankfully relax. ‘You won’t regret it,’ he promised.
Summoning up a mere ghost of a smile, Liadan nodded and said nothing.
‘Here.’ Adrian pushed his clean