She was sitting on their old swing, bare feet dangling above the ground, head resting on the twisted rope support as one slow, sad tear rolled down her face. He stopped and watched her for a moment. Despite what his wife had said, Ben could see through the bruising, and, as he stood there, what he saw was a beautiful woman. And what he felt terrified him.
Ellie caught his presence from the corner of her eye and turned her head a little more towards the rope, away from him.
‘Ellie? Ellie honey, I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s OK. Really.’ She shook her head in forgiveness but declined to look at him. Ben felt worse.
‘No. No it’s not.’ His voice was soft as he walked over and hunkered down in front of the swing. Still, she kept her head turned away. ‘It was insensitive. I – I was just shocked, I guess.’
‘That makes two of us then.’ A ghost of a half-smile showed on her lips but she refused to meet his eyes.
‘Hey, there’s that smile.’ Ellie didn’t respond. ‘Are you going to look at me?’ he asked softly. He tentatively rested his hand on hers and, after a moment, she curled a single finger around it.
She shook her head and the salty tear dropped and landed on Ben’s jeans, a dark blob on the faded denim.
‘Why not?’
Her voice cracked as she whispered her reply. ‘I don’t even want to look at me.’
‘Oh, sweetheart,’ Ben whispered as he stood, gently pulling her up with him as he did so, wrapping his arms around her. ‘It’s OK. Everything’s OK now. I promise.’
It was all that was needed to breach the fragile dam she had built in an attempt to keep back the flood of emotions bursting within her. Feeling secure in her friend’s strong embrace, hidden from the world, Ellie began to sob. Great painful issues wracked her whole body as Ben curled his palm around the back of her head, holding her close as she let out the frustration and pain, the disappointment and fear that she’d been doing her best to hide from. Broken words filtered out every now and then, but she was so upset Ben couldn’t make them out, so he just held her until she had cried herself out.
Ellie pulled away from him, searching self-consciously in her skirt pocket for a handkerchief. Finding one, she wiped her eyes and nose, keeping her gaze lowered.
‘Oh no,’ A look of concern furrowed her brow as she pointed at his shirt.
A large wet patch showed just below the shoulder where she had buried her head. Ben looked down and smiled, trying not to die a little bit at the worry he saw in her expression.
‘It’ll dry.’ He shrugged.
‘I’m so sorry. I—’
‘It’s OK,’ he interrupted. ‘Really. Needed a wash anyway.’
Slowly, gently, he placed one finger under her chin and tipped her face to his. ‘I said it’s OK.’
Finally, she lifted his eyes to meet his. Ben looked down into those startling green eyes, now swollen and red-rimmed. One was still half closed and surrounded by a rainbow-coloured bruise, as was her temple and jaw.
‘How could anyone do this?’
‘Please don’t. You’ll start me off again.’
He nodded, forcing a smile that thankfully, this time, received the smallest of ones in reply as she held the gaze momentarily.
*
Cyndi and Ben had stayed to dinner but Sandy had put Ellie to bed as soon as she returned from the garden with Ben, saying she’d bring her something to eat later. The tearstains on Ellie’s face and her brother’s shirt had told enough of the story.
‘I’m not tired, Sands.’
‘I know but you’re having a rest anyway,’ Sandy replied, ignoring the protest and pulling the cover over her friend.
‘You’re worse than my mum!’
‘I’ll check on you later.’ Sandy smiled, kissing her friend on the forehead before leaving the room.
Ellie lay on the bed and watched the evening sun painting colours in the sky. She really wasn’t tired but her head was pounding from all the crying. Maybe closing her eyes would make it go away.
*
Ben walked out with Sandy to collect their coats.
‘I really didn’t mean to upset her. You know I wouldn’t have done that for the world.’
‘I know.’ Sandy hugged him. ‘Ellie knows that too. Actually, although it probably wasn’t the kindest way of going about it, I think it did her good. She’s been trying to be brave and strong when she really needed to just give in and release it all. Start afresh from there.’
‘I guess.’
‘And your complete lack of tact seemed to do the trick!’
Ben looked pained. Then he caught the glint in her eye and pulled a face. Shoving the two coats at her.
‘I’m going to say goodbye to Ellie. It could be another decade before I see her again.’
‘OK. Don’t wake her if she’s still sleeping though.’
Ben tapped lightly on the door and pushed it when there was no response. She was lying, half on her back and half on her side, one arm cuddling a pillow. Her head was turned away from the window towards the door. Towards him. He knew he should leave but he couldn’t. Not just yet.
‘Is she still asleep?’ Sandy poked her head around the door.
Ben flushed, glad of the low light. ‘Yeah,’ he whispered back
Sandy entered the room and stood at Ben’s side, then looked down at her friend’s sleeping form,
‘She looks peaceful. That’s good.’ From the corner of her eye, she saw her brother’s face twitch in anger. Nudging him, she derailed his thoughts. ‘Come on. She wouldn’t appreciate us spying on her.’
Ben looked back at Ellie, stepped across and momentarily covered her hand with his own. She didn’t stir.
‘Bye, Ellie,’ he whispered.
Sandy quickly closed the shutters and then followed her brother out, shutting the door behind her. Ben hadn’t moved.
‘Why did she let him do this?’ True confusion showed in Ben’s clear blue eyes. Sandy couldn’t help her surprise. This wasn’t like Ben. Normally, he just dealt with things, fixed what he could and accepted what he couldn’t. Taking things in his stride had always been his thing. However, his comment made her frown.
‘I don’t think she had much of a choice in the matter, Ben. It’s not like she asked him to do it!’
‘No, of course not. I didn’t mean that. I just meant, why didn’t she get out sooner. She was with him, what, over two years? He must have done this before. You said yourself that you think she had more trouble with him than she let on. Why didn’t she just leave? She’s bright and funny, and beautiful. Why’d she put up with it?’
‘Well,’ Sandy said slowly, ‘she thought she loved him. And when you love someone, I guess it’s easier to find excuses not to leave.’
‘Ben?’ Cyndi called up the stairs, that pout back on her face.
Ben looked down,