Except perhaps the grandson he’d never known.
“Holly?” Luc touched her shoulder. “Would you rather wait?”
“No. Let’s go.” She mentally shook off the past, knowing the guilt would return again later, when she was alone.
“It’s the north quarter. We’ll have to ride.” Luc glanced at her bare feet and raised one eyebrow. “I think you’re going to have to cover those,” he jibed.
Holly glanced down and giggled.
“One of my Sunday school students gave me this polish,” she said, wiggling her toes. “She said her mom thought it was too old for her.”
“It’s too something,” Luc agreed, unable to stifle a laugh.
Holly laughed with him. Luc always had that effect on her, she thought as she pulled on her socks and riding boots. He was a very good friend who coaxed her to enjoy life. She enjoyed having him around.
They took the shortcut to the north pasture, past Luc’s house. Holly slowed to a stop and squinted into the sun below the brim of her hat, waiting until he’d reined in beside her.
“What’s that in your yard, Luc?”
“I’m restoring a truck and needed some parts so I had the garage tow in a couple of wrecks.” He must have seen something in her face because he asked, “Why?”
“You’re still determined to adopt Henry?” she asked, even though she knew he was.
“Of course. Why not?” Luc glanced at the yard then back at her. “What’s wrong?”
“I think that whoever comes to check out your place will see those old cars and parts as a potential hazard for a kid Henry’s age,” she said gently. “You can still restore your vehicles but maybe not in front of the house.”
“It’s handy when I have a few minutes after dinner,” he explained. “I can walk out the door and work as long as the light’s good, but you’re right. I wouldn’t want Henry poking around where there’s a lot of rust and jagged edges.”
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, knowing how much he loved to restore vehicles.
“Don’t be.” Luc twisted to look at her, his grin back in place. “That’s exactly the kind of thing I want your help with, Holly.”
“Did you talk to Abby yet?” she asked. “She might have some weight with the government if Henry is in the care of Family Ties. Or even if he’s under other stewardship.”
“Abby told me Henry’s only been in foster care since his brother went to prison, but that he hasn’t been able to settle in anywhere. Apparently he doesn’t like foster care and keeps asking for a forever family.” Luc chuckled. “His case worker in Calgary was relieved Abby agreed to temporarily oversee his care while he’s staying with Hilda Vermeer.”
“He’s still there, even though she snores?” Holly asked, tongue in cheek.
“Apparently there is a lack of foster homes right now. When he argued about staying with Hilda, Abby said she had to be very forceful with him to get him to understand that he’d never get his family if he didn’t give her time to find it. Henry then said he’d wait a little longer.” Luc laughed. “He’s such a solemn, determined kid.”
And you already love him, Holly thought, her heart pinching at the trouble that might lie ahead for Luc. And yet, she had only to think of the joy he’d experience as a father, joy she’d missed out on, joy she’d denied her dad.
“Henry reminds me of you sometimes,” she said, not realizing she’d voiced her thoughts until Luc’s eyebrows arched.
“Me? How?”
“His purpose, the way he won’t give in, his certainty about what he wants from life. And his eyes. Henry’s eyes are exactly like yours. Are you sure you weren’t married and had a child you didn’t tell anyone about?” Holly teased.
Luc’s face tightened. “Never married,” he said firmly. “Never will. Some people, like you for instance, should be married. Some, especially if they’re like me, shouldn’t.”
“Why not?” Surprised by the comment, Holly rode closer and tapped him on the arm. “Luc?”
He remained silent for so long she thought he wouldn’t answer. She’d thought Luc simple and carefree until now. Her questions about him multiplied.
“I always intended to get married.” He pulled his horse up when they came to the stream that divided their properties and dismounted. “That had been my dream since I was a kid, to someday have a wife and a family. A home. I thought with them I’d be able to make up for the family that I’d lost when my parents died in the car accident.”
“And now you can’t?” Holly’s heart ached for the little boy he’d been and the grief he’d had to go through after losing the only family he’d ever known.
“I think maybe with Henry I can have that dream,” Luc murmured thoughtfully.
Holly appreciated the way Luc held her horse’s harness so she could dismount, even though she’d been riding since she was five. There was something nice about having Luc do those polite things that made her feel cherished, special.
She sat down on a rock by the creek bed and waited while Luc fastened both horses to a tall poplar tree. He pulled two cans of soda from his saddlebags and a sack of nuts.
“I thought it’d be nice to take a break here,” he said after handing her a soda. He folded his long lean length next to her then set his Stetson on a rock. His short dark curly hair glistened in the sun.
Luc, Holly suddenly realized, was a very handsome man.
“I love this spot. It’s so peaceful.” His voice rumbled quietly through the little glade. “It makes me think of God.”
Holly sipped her drink and waited for him to continue. She, too, loved this spot and often came here to pray for forgiveness.
“This year I let go of the marriage part of my dreams,” Luc told her, his face inexpressibly sad.
“Because?” Holly could hardly contain her curiosity.
“Because it wasn’t realistic.” A self-mocking smile stretched his mouth. “I thought love and marriage meant forever.”
“And they don’t?” Holly wanted to hug him when he shook his head. His face reflected his disenchantment.
“A month ago the woman I’d just proposed to told me she didn’t love me enough to leave Calgary and move out here—to the back of beyond I believe she called it.” Luc said it coolly, without emotion, but Holly saw the sting of rejection in his eyes.
“Oh, Luc. I’m so sorry.” Holly frowned. “You never told us you were engaged.”
“You and your dad had enough to deal with. Your canceled wedding and his illness took up every spare moment.” His gaze rested on her, brimming with compassion. “My problems didn’t matter.”
“Of course they did. If you’d told us, we would have celebrated your happiness, even thrown a party.” Holly pinched her lips. Luc grinned.
“Yeah, probably not a good idea,” he said. “Too much to explain when we split up.”
Holly couldn’t suppress an oddly disquieting sensation at the knowledge that Luc had been contemplating marriage. She looked at him now with new eyes. Luc as a husband?
“Surely one breakup is no reason to give up on love and marriage,” she said.
“It wasn’t