Alessandro thought about all the occasions he’d seen Christy in the last six weeks. Brief occasions when they’d handed over the children. They’d barely spoken, let alone rowed. ‘It isn’t like that any more.’ Christmas promised to be as icy cold as the weather and Alessandro was suddenly struck by inspiration. ‘Why don’t you join us? You’re their godfather.’
Jake nodded. ‘I might do that if I can drag myself away from the irresistible lure of this place. You know how I am with cold hospital turkey and lumpy gravy. I’ve been trying to break myself of the addiction for years.’ He stretched his legs out in front of him. ‘You know, about this thing that’s going on with you and Christy—’
‘There’s nothing going on. We’re separated and that’s all there is to it. And I don’t want to talk about it.’ Alessandro’s gaze was shuttered and Jake sighed.
‘I just hate to see the two of you like this. You’re my best friends and if anyone was ever meant to be together, it’s you two. You should hang onto what you’ve got. It’s hard enough finding anyone you get on vaguely well with in this world. Christy was crazy about you, right from day one. And you were crazy about her. I remember the day you guys met—’
‘I said, I don’t want to talk about it,’ Alessandro said coldly, his dark eyes stormy and threatening as he rose to his feet and paced over to the window, angry with Jake for stirring up memories that he’d spent ages trying to bury. How could he ever forget the day he’d first met Christy?
He stared out of the window. Outside, snow lay thick on the ground, disguising the usually familiar landscape. In the distance the fells rose. He studied their familiar jagged lines and then turned, his volatile Mediterranean temper bubbling to the surface. ‘She left me.’
‘I know.’ Jake’s voice was soft. ‘I wonder why she felt she had to do that?’
Alessandro’s jaw tensed. ‘If you’re implying that any of this is my fault, you’re wrong.’
‘Christy adores you. She’s crazy about you and always has been. If she left you, she must have been desperate,’ Jake said quietly. ‘She must have felt there was no other way to get through to you.’
‘That’s ridiculous. She could have talked to me.’
Jake’s expression was inscrutable. ‘Could she? Did you make yourself available?’
Alessandro sucked in a frustrated breath. ‘How could we talk when she left me?’ He sounded impossibly Spanish and Jake gave a wry smile.
‘So is that what this is all about?’ His eyes narrowed. ‘Pride? She was the one to walk away from you so you’re not going to go after her? Why did she leave you, Al?’ Jake’s voice was calm as he rose to his feet. ‘Try asking yourself that question while you’re binning take-away cartons.’
And with that parting shot he left the room and closed the door quietly behind him.
Christy had changed her clothes a dozen times and in the end settled on a pencil skirt, a pair of heels and a blue jumper in the softest cashmere, which she’d bought in a small shop on the King’s Road to cheer herself up. It hadn’t worked, but she knew she looked good in it. And she wanted to remind Alessandro what he was missing. Not that she wanted them to get back together again, she told herself hastily, because she didn’t. Oh, no. She wasn’t that stupid.
Obviously he wasn’t interested in her any more. Their marriage had worn itself out. He was an arrogant, selfish, macho workaholic who suited himself in life and clearly he didn’t love her any more. If he’d loved her, he never would have let her leave.
As they drove deeper into Cumbria she saw the fells rise under a crown of snow and felt the tension leave her. The winter winds had dragged the last of the leaves from the trees and the sky was grey and menacing but it was wild and familiar. It was home.
Why, she wondered, had she thought that she could be happy in London? She’d never been a city girl. For her, life had always been about being outdoors. Being active and close to nature. When Christmas was over, she’d move back up here and find a job in the Lake District. There must be some other department she could work in that didn’t have links with Alessandro. She didn’t have to throw away everything she loved just because their relationship was on the rocks.
She needed to build a new life.
A life that didn’t include Alessandro.
‘Mum?’ Ben’s little voice whined from the back of the car, disturbing her thoughts. ‘Are we there yet?’
‘Nearly. Don’t you recognise those trees?’ Christy changed down a gear and took the sharp turning that led down the lane to the barn.
They’d discovered it during the second year of their marriage. Katy had been a baby and they’d both fallen in love with the potential of the old, tumble-down building bordered by fields and a fast-flowing river. They’d spent the next few years living on a building site while they’d lovingly turned it into their dream home.
And there it was, smoke rising from the chimney like a welcome beacon.
Christy swallowed and slowed the car. Except it wasn’t a welcome, was it? Alessandro didn’t want her any more. He’d made that perfectly clear. For him, their marriage was over. And the fact that they were about to spend three weeks together was everything to do with the children and nothing to do with them.
It was going to be something akin to torture.
She was going to be dignified, she reminded herself as she pulled the car up outside the front of the barn and switched off the engine. They were both civilised human beings. They could spend time together for the sake of their children.
She wasn’t going to lose her temper. She wasn’t going to show him how upset she was. She wasn’t going to reveal that she wished she’d never left. She wasn’t going to cry and most of all she wasn’t going to let him know that she thought about him day and night.
But then the front door was pulled open and all her resolutions flew out of her head.
Alessandro stood there, his powerful, athletic body almost filling the doorway. He looked dark and dangerous and Christy caught her breath, just as she had on that very first day they’d met. One glance at those brooding dark eyes was enough to make her forget her own name. Wasn’t time supposed to put a dent in sexual attraction? she thought helplessly. Wasn’t she supposed to have become bored and indifferent over time? Well, it certainly hadn’t happened in her case. But that was probably because Alessandro was no ordinary guy, she thought miserably as she switched off the engine and tried to slow the rhythmic thump of her heart. He was strong, unashamedly masculine, hotly sexual and almost indecently handsome. The combination was a killer and no woman would ever pass him by without giving a second and third look.
He stood now in his usual arrogant, self-confident pose, legs planted slightly apart, his hair gleaming glossy black in the fading winter sunlight, his shoulders broad and muscular under the thick, ribbed jumper. He wore scuffed walking boots and ancient jeans and she thought, with a lurch of her heart and a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, that he’d never looked more attractive. And she had absolutely no doubt that other women felt the same way.
He was a red-blooded male with a high sex drive and they hadn’t shared a bed for almost two months.
Had he taken a lover?
The thought flew into her head from nowhere and she pushed it away again, too sick at the thought to even dwell on the possibility.
‘Dad!’ Katy and Ben were out of the car before Christy had a chance to get herself together and suddenly she realised that they were doing what she wanted to do. She wanted to run and hug him. She wanted him to tell her that this was all a ridiculous misunderstanding and hear him tell her that everything was going to be all right.
And then she wanted him to take her to bed and fix everything.