“No. He’s pretty tired and besides, he’s a gem about leaving us girls to talk.”
“He’s pretty great to you.” Rebecca took two forks from the drawer.
“I know. I thank God for him every day.” Warm and loving and totally devoted to her husband—that was Danielle. “You didn’t answer my question, you know.”
“Sorry. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” And there it was, what she’d been trying not to think about all evening: her mess of a life.
“We can talk about it. Maybe I can help. Or maybe we can try to brainstorm. There have got to be some great single men out there that you can date.” Danielle carried the milk back to the fridge, and in the wan light from inside the door she looked exceptionally pale and tired.
There had been a lot on her shoulders when Jonas had first been hurt, but now that he was much better, Danielle was back to her old self. Except for tonight.
“Forget my problems,” she said. “I should be asking you if you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.” Danielle closed the fridge door and waved away her concern.
“You don’t look like you’re getting enough sleep or something. I work until four tomorrow, but I can come by after and help out. Maybe make dinner for you?”
“That’s great of you, Becca, but it’s not necessary.” She took both glasses to the table. “I’m just a little tired. I’m still adjusting to working full-time is all.”
“Are you sure?” She followed her sister, plates in hand.
“Positive.” Danielle had taken a management job at their family’s bookstore. Finances were thin with Jonas on long-term disability. “Do me a favor and don’t tell anyone, okay? You know how the family is. No one needs to get all worried about me. It’s nothing a little chocolate won’t cure.”
She knew how that felt. She slipped the plates on the table and took one of the chairs across from her sister. It was nice; she loved Danielle’s home. There were pictures on the walls and toys clustered in the corners and love that filled each room as unmistakable as air.
This is what she’d always wanted for herself. A stable marriage. A warm, loving home. A couple of kids to look after. She’d always just wanted to be a mom. Nothing else. She’d gone to college because her parents had expected it and her grandmother had been so proud of her.
But she’d had a hard time deciding on what to really do with her life. All of her friends seemed to know—they were biology majors, business majors, psych majors. It seemed everyone was so focused, except for her. Now she was through with a graduate degree and she still felt as if she were wandering through life.
Letting Chris go had meant letting go of her dreams. It had been the right thing to do. Absolutely. But just because she’d given her worries and her wishes up to God didn’t mean she now knew what to do with her life in the meantime. Her future was one blank slate. She was afraid that she would spend too many years alone, wishing for what she did not have. Worse, she didn’t know what to do with her life now, without those dreams.
“You look pretty serious,” Danielle said around a bite of pie. “Want to talk about it?”
Yes. No. Too personal. Rebecca took a bit of creamy pie so she didn’t have to answer. She wanted to tell Dani about meeting Chad, but if she did, then her sister would so get the wrong idea. Best to keep quiet. It was strange how just thinking about him, about how calm and steady he seemed and how kind his eyes, made her feel better.
Well, maybe he was one of the good guys, she thought, and how nice would that be? It was always helpful to have a decent, nice guy living next door. He’d been a definite knight in shining armor. You never know, she might need that again sometime. Or, better yet, she might be able to return the favor.
She took a sip of milk. “I so don’t want to talk about my problems. Tell me how your evening went.”
“It was wonderful.” Danielle lit up. “Jonas and I had the best time. We went to the museum and looked at dinosaurs.”
“Didn’t you two take the kids there about a month ago?”
“Yes. And the kids got to see everything while Jonas and I were watching the kids.” Dani laughed happily. “Jonas remembered that every time I wanted to stop and look at something, Madison had a tantrum, bless her. She was simply so excited by the displays and the people. Oh, and she had been wearing her newest mermaid princess outfit. I had my hands full trying to keep up with her and keeping her in a good mood.”
“So Jonas took you back on a date night.” Rebecca couldn’t help sighing. Jonas was definitely one of the good guys, too. See, in the long run, the women in her family had a good history of finding the right kind of men, the kind you could count on. Maybe she wouldn’t always have to have a No Man policy. Maybe one day far down the road, when her heart was ready to trust again, God would find someone for her. She had to hope that she wasn’t marked by her early years, or the painful, bad relationship with Chris.
Have faith, she told herself and took another bite of pie. The chocolate had helped. By the time she pulled into her driveway, she was totally feeling better.
There was a small shadow sitting on her lit front porch. She squinted into the twilight shadows and stopped the car. Why, it looked as if someone had laid a stick in front of her door. No, not a stick. She left the engine idling and stepped into the warm evening winds. A dowel.
A handwritten note was taped to it, bold script on a ripped piece of notebook paper. To keep you safe and sound.
She grimaced inwardly. How was she going to keep from liking him now? Chad Lawson was definitely one of the good guys.
It was morning, and Chad had a long list of things to get done for the day. He pondered that list as he folded the top of the cereal box and stuck it in the cupboard. Sure, he had practical things to get done, like showing up for the first day of his new job on time. Run a few errands on the way home from work. But he had one less-than-practical item on that list, and that was to find out more about his lovely neighbor, Rebecca McKaslin.
Ephraim would know. Chad grabbed the carton out of the fridge. Whatever he did, he had to bring her up casually, otherwise his esteemed roommate would leap to conclusions—premature ones. He poured milk over his breakfast cereal. He had learned to be cautious in relationships. It was best to start off slow. Whatever he did, he had to act as though gorgeous, nice-looking Rebecca was no big deal.
He was just curious. That was all. Nothing wrong with that, right? He closed the milk’s top and returned it to the refrigerator, not quite sure what he was feeling. Definite curiosity, he decided as he shut the door and went digging through the nearest drawer for a spoon—he was in luck. There was one clean one left.
He shoveled cereal into his mouth, leaning with his back against the counter. Rebecca. What would she think about him if she knew his truths? Would she be understanding? Or would she do her best to avoid him?
The shame of his past mistakes still stung, and it was a harsh sting. There was nothing he could do about that. The past couldn’t be changed—not even God could manage that. All Chad could do was his best with today. To keep making the right choices, which he’d been doing just fine for a long time, now. Living the right way was a lifelong commitment, one he took seriously.
What were the chances that a nice, great girl would see that?
He feared he already knew. Probably close to zilch. He had to try anyway. Asking a few questions wouldn’t hurt, right? And he was only curious, that was all. At least, that was his story and he was sticking to it. “Hey, Ephraim.”
“Yo.” Ephraim looked up from his morning newspaper. Sunlight streamed through the window onto the secondhand dinette set and winked off his nearly empty glass of orange juice. “You need directions to the church?”
“Nope.