“How long have you been hiding that Baby Ruth?”
“I haven’t been hiding it. I found it in the plane when I got the rest of the stuff. Besides, it’s melted from being in the plane all day.”
“Melted, schmelted,” she scoffed. “That doesn’t affect chocolate.”
“Ah.” He nodded, still grinning. “You’re one of those.”
“One of those what?”
“Chocoholics.”
“I am not,” she protested, lifting her chin at him. “I’m a sweetaholic.”
“Then why didn’t you pack something sweet in that damn survival bag of yours, instead of something that tastes like dried grass?”
She scowled at him. “Because the idea is to stay alive. If I had a stash of candy, I’d eat it all the first day, then I’d be in trouble.”
The golden-brown gaze flicked at her, lashing like the tip of a whip. “When are you going to tell me why you packed survival gear for an overnight plane trip to Seattle?” He kept his tone light, but she felt the change of mood. He was dead serious about this, and she wondered why. What did it matter to him why she lugged that stuff everywhere she went? She could understand why he would be curious, but not insistent.
“I’m paranoid,” she said, matching his tone in lightness. “I’m always certain there will be some sort of emergency, and I’m terrified of being unprepared.”
His eyes went dark and flat. “Bull. Don’t try to blow me off with lies.”
Sunny might be good-natured almost to a fault, but she didn’t back down. “I was actually trying to be polite and avoid telling you it’s none of your business.”
To her surprise, he relaxed. “That’s more like it.”
“What? Being rude?”
“Honest,” he corrected. “If there are things you don’t want to tell me, fine. I don’t like it, but at least it was the truth. Considering our situation, we need to be able to totally rely on each other, and that demands trust. We have to be up front with each other, even when the truth isn’t all sweetness and light.”
She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes, giving him an “I’m not buying this” look. “Even when you’re just being nosy? I don’t think so.” She sniffed. “You’re trying to psych me into spilling my guts.”
“Is it working?”
“I felt a momentary twinge of guilt, but then logic kicked in.”
She sensed he tried to fight it, but a smile crinkled his eyes, then moved down to curl the corners of that beautifully cut mouth. He shook his head. “You’re going to cause me a lot of trouble,” he said companionably as he picked up the traps and started back to their little water hole, if a trickle could be called a hole.
“Why’s that?” she called to his back.
“Because I’m afraid I’m going to fall in love with you,” he said over his shoulder as he walked around a jutting curve of the canyon wall and disappeared from sight.
Sunny’s legs felt suddenly weak; her knees actually wobbled, and she reached out to brace her hand on the wall. Had he really said that? Did he mean it? Would a man admit to something like that if he wasn’t already emotionally involved?
Her heart was pounding as if she had been running. She could handle a lot of things most people never even thought of having to do, such as running for her life, but when it came to a romantic relationship she was a babe in the woods—or in the desert, to be accurate. She had never let a man get close enough to her to matter, because she had to be free to disappear without a moment’s notice or regret. But this time she couldn’t disappear; she couldn’t go anywhere. This time she was in a lot more trouble than Chance was, because she was already in love—fully, falling-down-a-mine-shaft, terrifyingly in love.
The feeling was a stomach-tightening mixture of ecstasy and horror. The last thing she wanted to do was love him, but it was way too late to worry about that now. What had already begun had blossomed into full flower when he didn’t make love to her after she had said he could. Something very basic and primal had recognized him then as her mate. He was everything she had ever wanted in a man, everything she had ever dreamed about in those half-formed thoughts she had never let fully surface into her consciousness, because she had always known that life wasn’t for her.
But those circumstances held sway up in the world, not down here in this sunlit hole where they were the only two people alive. She felt raw inside, as if all her nerve endings and emotions had been stripped of their protective coverings, leaving her vulnerable to feelings she had always before been able to keep at bay. Those emotions kept sweeping over her in exhilarating waves, washing her into unknown territory. She wanted very much to protect herself, yet all the shields she had used over the years were suddenly useless.
Tonight they would become lovers, and one last protective wall would be irrevocably breached. Sex wasn’t just sex to her; it was a commitment, a dedication of self, that would be part of her for the rest of her life.
She wasn’t naive about what else making love with him could mean. She wasn’t on any form of birth control, and while he might have a few condoms with him, they would quickly be used. The bell couldn’t be un-rung, and once they had made love they couldn’t go back to a chaste relationship. What would she do if she got pregnant and they weren’t rescued? She had to hold out hope that they wouldn’t be down here forever, yet a small kernel of logic told her that it was possible they wouldn’t be found. What would she do if she got pregnant even if they were rescued? A baby would be a major complication. How would she protect it? Somehow she couldn’t see herself and Chance and a baby making a normal little all-American family; she would still be running, because that was the only way to be safe.
Keeping him at a distance, remaining platonic, was the only safe, sane thing to do. Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to have a good grip on her sanity any longer. She felt as if those waves had carried her too far from shore for her to make it back now. For better or worse, all she could do was ride the current where it would take her.
Nevertheless, she tried. She tried to tell herself how stupidly irresponsible it was to risk getting pregnant under any circumstances, but particularly in this circumstance. Yes, women all over the world conceived and gave birth in primitive conditions, but for whatever reasons, cultural, economic or lack of brain power, they didn’t have a choice. She did. All she had to do was say “no” and ignore all her feminine instincts shrieking “yes, yes.”
When Chance returned she was still standing in the same spot she had been when he left, her expression stricken. He was instantly alert, reaching for the pistol tucked into his waistband at the small of his back. “What’s wrong?”
“What if I get pregnant?” she asked baldly, indicating their surroundings with a sweep of her hand. “That would be stupid.”
He looked surprised. “Aren’t you on birth control?”
“No, and even if I was, I wouldn’t have an unlimited supply of pills.”
Chance rubbed his jaw, trying to think of a way around this one without tipping his hand. He knew they wouldn’t be here for long, only until she gave him the information he needed on her father, but he couldn’t tell her that. And why in the hell wasn’t she on some form of birth control? All of the female agents he knew were on long-term birth control, and Sunny’s circumstances weren’t that different. “I have some condoms,” he finally said.
She gave him a wry smile. “How many? And what will we do when they’re gone?”
The last thing he wanted to do now was make her hostile. Deciding to gamble a little, to risk not being able to make love to her in exchange for keeping her trust, he put his arms around her and cradled her against his chest. She felt good in his arms, he thought,