Perhaps Anna was right. Perhaps it was time she thought about dating again. But she really didn’t think she had the courage. Perhaps if she used the internet and said SINGLE MOTHER WITH CHILD, at least that would warn people that she wasn’t a supermodel. But she had to put something nice about herself. Can make pizza, kick a football and read bedtime stories? What sort of person would that attract?
The truth was that the mere thought of internet dating, horrified her. What if someone met her in the flesh and thought, Yuck?
Shrinking at the thought, Liv concentrated on the game. She watched as Max sped down the field, a determined look on his face as he chased the ball. His little legs were bruised and muddy and his football shirt was so long it looked as though he wasn’t wearing any shorts, but he was trying so hard that he was almost bursting. He looked so small and vulnerable, Liv thought to herself, wondering whether parenthood affected everyone like this.
When she looked at him she just ached, wanting everything to be all right for him.
Dating when she was single had been hard enough. Dating with a child didn’t bear thinking about. This time it wasn’t just her who would be hurt when it all went wrong.
Conscious of Claire’s husband yelling at his son, she wrapped her arms around herself and tried to subdue the envy. There were men out there prepared to shoulder the responsibility of family. It was just that she hadn’t found one. Maybe she would, one day. Someone who wouldn’t think Yuck when he saw her. Someone who would see past the fact that she wasn’t sexy and value her other qualities.
She watched as Max’s foot made contact with the ball and it flew into the goal. Max yelled triumphantly and all his teammates jumped on him, barely able to contain their excitement.
Liv clapped her hands and Claire and Simon gave a little whoop.
‘Did you see me, Mum?’ He came running over; her little boy with shining eyes and cheeks pink from the cold. ‘Did you see me?’
‘I saw you.’ She bent and hugged him, loving the fact that he still wanted her to do that, despite the presence of his friends. ‘You were brilliant.’
‘I love football, Mum. I love it.’
‘I know you do.’ Liv hugged him tightly, breathing in the smell of little boy and muddy field.
‘Are you going to work now?’
‘Yes. And you’re going home with Anna and Sam. Be good. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.’
‘Great, bye Mum.’ He turned and sped across the field to join his friends who were making their way back towards the school.
Swallowing down the lump in her throat, Liv said a quick goodbye to Claire and Simon and walked towards her car. Having taken a few hours off in the middle of the day, she was due back at the hospital. No time to mope or feel sorry for herself. The reality of her life. Work. If she didn’t work, there was no money.
The moment she walked through the doors, Stefano Lucarelli strode up to her. ‘Where have you been?’ His raw masculinity took her breath away and Liv felt the instantaneous reaction of her body. Her heart pounded, her knees weakened and she felt horribly light-headed. To make matters worse, the interview with the actress was fresh in her mind and suddenly she had a disturbingly vivid image of him sliding those strong, confident hands over the pliant shivering body of a sickeningly slender woman.
Flustered, she unwrapped the scarf from around her neck. ‘I had a few hours off this afternoon.’
‘In the middle of your shift?’ He stood in front of her, legs spread in a confrontational stance, blocking her path. For a moment she couldn’t speak. Sexual awareness burned hot and dangerous and every thought was blown from her head except one. He’d noticed that she hadn’t been working. For a reason that she didn’t want to examine, she felt like singing and dancing, but somehow she managed to keep her feet still.
‘You were looking for me?’
Maybe the feelings weren’t all on her side.
‘Sì, I was looking for you. We had a very distressed child with a fractured tibia,’ he growled. ‘I needed you.’
A distressed child.
Liv returned to reality with such a bump that every part of her felt bruised even though she hadn’t moved a muscle. Disappointment swamped her like a flutter of freezing snow. He’d needed her. At work. Of course, at work. ‘There are other nurses.’
‘I was given other nurses. And they were slow. I had to ask for the instruments I needed,’ he said scathingly, ‘and they had no idea how to comfort the child. Where were you?’
Liv didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
She should be grateful to him, she told herself. It was just the wake-up call she needed. She wasn’t the sort of woman a man turned to when he needed hot sex, she was the sort of woman a man turned to when he needed something done. ‘I’m working a split shift, today. I went to watch my son play football.’
The thunderous expression on his face vanished and his mouth curved into an unexpected smile. ‘He plays football? Did he score?’
Transfixed by that smile and the sudden change in him, Liv blinked. ‘Y-yes, actually,’ she stammered finally. ‘He did. He was thrilled.’ And he wanted to be picked for the first team but she had no idea how to coach him properly.
His eyes lingered on her face for a long, unsettling moment. ‘So why are you looking so worried?’
‘Worried?’ She was so astonished that he’d noticed that the word came out like a squeak and she almost laughed at herself. Talk about unsophisticated. Anna would have thought of something flirtatious and clever to say, but she couldn’t even hold a conversation with the man without her tongue tying itself into a knot. ‘I’m not worried.’
‘But something is wrong.’ His eyes didn’t shift from her face. ‘Tell me.’
She stared up into the dark glitter of his eyes and felt her stomach flip. Oh boy. My son needs a father, I need a makeover, I’m broke and it’s Christmas in three weeks.
Liv gave a laugh, trying to imagine his face if she spilled out her problems. ‘Nothing is wrong. I’d better go.’ Before her thoughts and her words became mixed up. ‘I’ll be back in the department in a minute, Mr Lucarelli.’
And by then she would have pulled herself together.
She needed to stop dreaming, before she embarrassed herself.
What was the matter with her? Normally, she was realistic and practical. Even if she were single with no responsibilities, she wouldn’t have allowed herself to be tempted by this man.
His life was so far removed from hers, it was laughable.
She could just imagine his reaction if she were to invite him to the ball. His polite refusal would no doubt become her second most embarrassing moment ever, after being overheard discussing sex with Anna.
‘I’ll see you in a minute, Mr Lucarelli.’ She lifted the bag that had slipped off her shoulder and his eyes narrowed.
‘Stefano,’ he purred in a disturbingly male voice. ‘My name is Stefano. Why does everyone keep calling me Mr Lucarelli? The emergency department is a very informal place to work.’
‘Well, you’re extremely senior and you’re also relatively new so I suppose people are wary about being too familiar, and some people find you—’ She broke off and backed towards the staffroom. ‘I really need to change.’
‘Wait.’ His fingers closed over her arm. ‘You didn’t finish your sentence. Some people find me…?’
She hesitated. ‘Intimidating. Just a little.’